Lady Ilyn was pale, well, more pale than usual. She wore a long black dress, her hair was pulled back in a severe bun, and her eyes were red-rimmed. Yet, when she walked up to me, she smiled.
"You're ruling was fair, and just, and extremely generous," she said bowing her head.
"I'm sorry, Lady Ilyn. I really am sorry."
"You've no need for apologies, my queen, and I could never apologize enough." She put her trembling fingers over her mouth and turned away.
I was shaky myself. I was standing in the meeting hall. The members of parliament were bowing to me and filing out. They had served with my father; they had known him and had insisted that Lyrik be punished in the worst way possible. Their gazes never left her while I had announced my decision.
The hardest part was looking at Lyrik. She stood before me, hair streaked with dirt, dress torn and smudged. She was practically emaciated from refusing to eat and her blue eyes were hard and dull like rocks as she stared at me.
"Banishment," I announced in a clear, strong voice, "For the murder of your king and stepfather, you are banished to the New World. Your ears will be blunted and your memory will be wiped of all you've known. You will never be allowed into another Elvin colony. You will not know your true identity. I believe this is doing you a favor because you've gone so far against our ideals and core values that I don't think you will ever be able to assimilate back into our society. Your punishment is to be executed immediately so if you wish to say goodbye to your mother, or ask her to accompany you, this would be the time to do so."
Lyrik's voice was stronger than she looked. "I have no more business with anyone."
I glanced at Lady Ilyn then, she held a gauzy handkerchief to her face, but didn't make a sound.
"Right, then," I said facing Lyrik again. "The memory potion waits for you. Guards, escort her to the basement, and then to the airport."
"Your highness," Tolem said beside me. I jolted out of my memory and turned to him. "May I escort you upstairs?"
"Please," I said with a smile. He took my elbow and led me through the first floor, and upstairs. I was only barely aware of moving my own feet. It was heavy, deciding the course of another person's life. "Is it really a punishment?" I asked Tolem when we'd entered my sitting room.
"What do you mean?"
I sunk onto the chair and sighed. "Is it really punishing Lyrik to send her away when she won't remember ever being here in the first place?"
Tolem sat beside me. "She'll always know that part of her is missing. She just won't remember the specifics. It's difficult for us to assimilate into human society, almost impossible to do it seamlessly. When we try, they always see us as just a bit off."
"Don't I know it," I grumbled.
"So Lyrik won't remember how to get back to us, but she'll know that she belongs elsewhere. She won't remember her mother's face, but she'll miss the love that she's lost. So, I think she'll be thoroughly punished."
I sighed and put my head on his shoulder. "Good." A knock at the door made us jump apart. "Come in," I called standing.
"Your highness," Trilla said as she walked in, "I have wonderful news for you."
"What is it?" I asked.
"Your mother has agreed to travel and will be here next week."
I started crying. Right there, in front of Trilla and Tolem I began to sob. My knees buckled and both of them stepped forward to catch me. I waved them back and sunk to my knees on the rug. The sky blue skirt I was wearing puffed around me like a pillow as I collapsed. I buried my face in the fabric and cried until I hiccupped. When I finally looked up, both Tolem and Trilla were staring at me as though I'd completely lost my mind.
Trilla spoke first. "Your highness, I'm so sorry. I thought you'd be pleased with the fact that your mother is coming."
"I am happy, Trilla. I just...it was just too much after what just happened. I just went into overload for a minute. I've missed her so much." I was hiccupping gently, my chest constricting after every five or six words.
Trilla nodded and turned away.
Tolem bent down to me, tucked his hand under my arm and lifted me to my feet. His face looked like he wanted to say something. His eyebrows were drawn together and his mouth was set in a line. He opened it for a second, but glanced back at Trilla and shut it again. I let him lead me to the bed. He put both large hands on my waist and hoisted me high so I landed on the bed.
I watched him slip off my ice blue heeled sandals and drop them at the foot of the bed.
"Rest," he said after he'd put my legs up on the bed too. "I will return."
I let my eyes drift closed after the door shut behind him and Trilla. I was spent. Not physically, but emotionally. My mind was muddled with the emotions I'd felt rolling off Lyrik and Lady Ilyn and Tolem and Trilla.
Lyrik had stood in front of me, cold and glaring, but behind that faΓ§ade, she was seething with anger. I knew it because I could feel the resentment rolling off her in waves. She resented me for being me and taking the crown that she'd wanted. She resented her mother for being lucky enough to marry a king, but not using that luck to secure Lyrik's position or even provide an heir that would keep them royals even after the king's death. She even resented my father for never loving her mother the way he'd loved mine. Lyrik hadn't wanted a father, not mine and certainly not hers. She'd wanted position and security. She'd wanted to know that her future was going to make her special. It wouldn't have mattered if she was the bastard child of some unknown once she was a queen.
Lady Ilyn had been devastated. She couldn't understand why she hadn't seen her daughter's true nature beneath the smiles and pomp. She really couldn't understand why Lyrik had done something so dark and devastating; to murder the man that had raised her...the man that she'd loved so much...even if he didn't love her that way.
Tolem had been overwhelmed when I'd started crying. He'd never been around someone as emotional as me. He had to physically fight the urge to pick me up and soothe me until my tears dried.
Trilla had been jealous after I'd confessed how much I'd missed my mother. The emotion had come out of nowhere and caused her acute distress. She didn't want to be jealous; she didn't want to feel the loss of her mother any more. Being motherless had never been such an issue before. She couldn't ignore it anymore.
I knew all this and I'd felt all this because since I'd gotten up that morning, I'd been in my own hyper-emotional state and that had, somehow, left me open and unguarded to all other people's emotions. The people that I'd gotten close to in the past months were transferring to me. That had been part of my breakdown. The happiness I'd felt at the idea of my mother being with me had put me over the limit. I just couldn't feel one more damn thing.
I don't know at what point I passed out, but next thing I knew, I was being woken up. Ella was sitting cross-legged beside me when I opened my eyes. "Hi there, Ella Bella," I croaked.
"Hi there, Mommy." She smiled at me and giggled.
"What's so funny?" I asked sitting up.
"Tolem said that you were tired because of the meeting this morning, but I snuck in here and watched you sleep. You breathe funny when you're sleeping." Ella's dark brown hair spilled over her shoulders as she covered her mouth to smother more giggles.
"Are you saying I snore?" I teased.