DEAR DEBBY, ISSUE 4
Dear Debby,
My boyfriend won't take a hint! He's sooo fucking useless in bed, lol. But I'm never the one to dump a guy. So I'm trying to get him to dump me.
I told him I don't like having sex with him any more. He just hugged me and told me he loves me anyway. I kept waiting for him to break up but he just kept telling me how much he loves me.
So I cut him off. I told him he's permanently denied all access to my pussy. I thought for sure he'd leave me. But he didn't! He just hugged me and insisted he loves me despite it all.
I thought: how can a guy go sexless and still stay in the relationship?? But a whole month completely pussy-free and he was STILL all lovey-dovey.
Desperate times call for desperate measures, so I started sleeping with this really hung black guy. It still didn't work! I've been texting my bf pictures and videos. Pictures and videos of me making out with this black guy, kissing this black guy, making love with this black guy. I even sent videos with nasty black creampies and filthy naughty dirty-talk.
My worthless boyfriend STILL doesn't get it! He just hugs me and says he loves me more than ever. He's been buying me presents, cooking me meals, he even came over and cleaned my whole apartment. At this rate he'll ask me to marry him! Help!
Sincerely,
Non-confrontational Girlfriend.
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Dear Non-confrontational,
Your boyfriend is stuck on you. It's up to you to break this one up.
But first: do you really want that?
You say you want it because of the lousy sex, right? Well, your boyfriend seems fine with going sexless, even letting you have a superior black side-piece. It sounds like you've got the best of both worlds.
Give your boyfriend an ultimatum. Tell him you want to get married and if he doesn't marry you, it's over. This way, you can't lose. If he refuses to marry you it's on him for ending the relationship. If he DOES marry you, well, congratulations, you have a devoted beta provider while you sink into BBC depravity :)
Tell him if you marry him you'll lock his dick away and he'll never have sex again. Tell him you'll make him raise your black lover's babies, and everyone will know he let his wife get knocked up by a real man. Sure, your marriage will be sexless. But who cares, when you can indulge in all the big black babymaking sex your heart desires? That kind of marriage is more and more common these days anyway. Soon you'll be converting all your married friends!
Love,
Debby.
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Dear Debby,
My black boyfriend fucks me every night with an invisible condom. But when I told my husband, he said there's no such thing as invisible condoms. Who can I trust? Is one of them lying to me?
Sincerely,
Housewife in Mississippi.
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Dear Mississippi,