April 18th
Several readers have commented and asked me to continue the journal I began last January, recounting how my wife Maggie and I hooked up with a younger interracial couple, Sean and Debbie, at a privately hosted swing party. I didn't know at the time that Maggie had actually met Sean online a few months before the party, and that they had been together more than once and that Maggie has been intimate with Sean for months now. I have been OK with this perhaps because partly it turns me on to see how much Maggie turns on with another guy, and in a perverse sort of turnabout, how much I have enjoyed being with Sean's baby mama Debbie without his knowledge.
Sean has been the master of my house and my wife for months now, to say that our lives have undergone a change of style would be an understatement.
In the month to come, even more dramatic changes would be noticeable in my wife and in me. Some readers of this journal have asked why I haven't taken advantage of Sean's other woman, Debbie and her offer to hook up. You may rely that I did and I have. In fact, I was there to see Sean's baby emerge from her womb, and for months after. But that's another set of journal entries for another day. I will tell you that much of what I have written here is factual. Where I have added to the story, it has been because deep, emotional, personal experiences sometimes blur in the remembering. This has not been an easy story to tell. I thank you for allowing me to share it.
This journal entry documents the change in our marriage, the many bouts of extreme ecstasy my wife experienced with a black lover, and the sexual flowering she has never seemed to have known with me. My journal picks things up from earlier this Spring.
May 16th
Maggie has been miserable for a month now and with good reason. First, her steady black lover Sean left the area to hide out in Atlanta very suddenly in early May, being chased by 4 of his thug friends to who he owned somewhere in the neighborhood of $20,000. Everyone has an Achilles Heal, and Sean's is apparently believing can outsmart a roulette wheel. An additional cause for Maggie's dismay was finding out in February that she was now carrying Sean's black seed. At the conclusion of my previous set of journal entries, I suggested that Maggie was no longer taking precautions against becoming pregnant.
Sean had pushed her to take his seed and as a woman addicted to black cock, eventually she caved in. I don't think being impregnated by Sean was something Maggie deeply wanted, and in her own defense I would observe that no woman can sleep with a powerful man night after night, transported to high levels of sexual excitement without bending to his will. The result for Maggie was to become a willing Baby Mama to another one of Sean's spawn. I think I also have to say that I believe their relationship had begun to move past simple lust into something else. What that something else was - impassioned lovers or master and love slave, I will leave to readers of this journal to decide.
Maggie was adjusting to the emergence of her baby bump, and in April, and I confess I would get an instant deep hard-on whenever she would model naked for me and run her hand over her expanding belly. She would tease me by saying, "Jack, come feel Sean's baby inside me. It's going to have his black skin and dark eyes. Will you promise to love it and raise it?"
Sean had told her more than once that 'black into white always comes out black,' so in all honesty, I had no reason to feel attached to the baby developing inside Maggie's womb, although it would have part of her in it as well. All the same, I felt sorrow for Maggie when she lost the baby after three months. I won't go into the messy details, but she wound up having to spend two days in hospital and was advised to take things very easy, especially sexually for a while.
So here we were in mid-May. After so days of stony silence, I sat down with Maggie and asked, "where do you see all this opening up of our relationship going?"
She told me that our relationship was deep and enduring, but even so, she now didn't feel a need to be sexually exclusive, especially after our experiences with other couples. I asked her if we could slow it down a bit, maybe just soft swapping. I told her that I was really uncomfortable with the ways she let Sean dominate her, the way he had taken over our sex life, and some of the things he forced her into.
She said that she understood but then asked me how much her happiness mattered to me. I told her that her happiness was everything to me; even when that meant she had deep emotional feelings for a different sex partner. As I have said, I understood that no one who has is involved with a lover can remain emotionally detached for very long and acknowledged that to her. Even so, I said that I thought her obsession over her black lover had gone too far.
Maggie explained that subbing under Sean's domination awakened a level of erotic excitement that seemed to have no limits. She told me that when she gave herself to him, submitted to his demands, or did something kinky on his orders, she was capable of achieving several orgasms a night, one on top of another. She also said that she really loved being submissive to him in ways that turned her on like ordinary sex couldn't even touch.
Finally, she said that she loved me more than ever before, but that our relationship had changed. She wasn't denying me sex -- a requirement laid on her by Sean -- to be mean to me, but because it made the sex between them that much more intense, and that Sean had convinced her that it was a huge sexual turn on for me as well. She said she loved seeing me watch them, knowing that she was his exclusively. She loved banishing me to the guest bedroom or even ordering me out of the house, not because she wanted to be cruel to me, but because she loved being submissive to Sean. She didn't know at the time that I was taking advantage of some of those occasions to be intimate with Sean's baby mama, as I document in another set of journal entries.
She then asked me something that surprised me as well. She asked me to admit that I too was turned on by the thought of her getting hammered by his big black cock -- and that's exactly the way she phrased it. She had experienced me crawling across the bedroom to lick her labia, red and swollen and stretched from being fucked by him while he lay beside her twisting her nipples and she asked me to fess up to the fact that it was an incredible turn on for me too.That I wouldn't do, even though it was true.
She also told me that she was beginning to love the power trip she was on and that watching me sub to her demands (on Sean's orders) was such an incredible high that it gave her additional climaxes. She told me that -- even though this was something she wasn't supposed to mention -- Sean had at least a few times told her to have me suck their cum from his cock as a part of the cleanup after their fucking which was the only part of their sex I was permitted to participate in, but she also knew I was so homophobic that I would draw the line there.
Before his sudden departure to avoid broken kneecaps, Sean had told her that by the end of the summer, she would have me trained to do that. I had told her, "no fucking way honey!" to which she replied, "But Jack, you are already licking his cum from my pussy, and you've done it at least a half dozen different times. What's the difference." She then pushed further on that nerve, saying, "Jack, I already know Sean's power of persuasion. I yielded to it almost nightly. I know that it's going to happen. It's just a matter of you accepting it. Admit that you love my training you and that it turns you on as much as it does me. I want you to sub to him and get to love it as much as I do."
