2011
Barrica, Spain
I watched Oscar open the door to his condo and noticed his giant grin that wasn't there moments before. We had been friends for many years; he was a short man in his forties with wild untamed dark hair and skin the colour of beach sand.
I was in Spain for a conference where I ran into him. He absolutely insisted that I stay with him and his wife while his children were out of town.
"Follow me!" He declared showing me about his spacious condo, "Let me show you how I live."
I wanted to sit and have a glass of water; aside from the effects of jet lag on me, I actually wanted to do a hike. I had never been to Spain before and I wanted to explore it! Oscar's cheery demeanor as he opened doors and told stories however had me smiling and forgetting my worries, which at this point were legion.
"Come to my room," my friend declared leading me, "I want to show you a turquoise piece of jewellery I bought in a Kabul market."
I tried to stop dead in my tracks, if he didn't have a grip on my wrist I might have turned and ran. Long ago I swore I'd never to go near blue jewellery again!
"It has to be somewhere." He said pulling me through his bedroom. "Perhaps in the bathroom."
I understand that some folks would be uncomfortable being lead through a home in such a manner, however as I said Oscar and I had been friends for years, I knew he wasn't leading me astray, or at least I hoped.
Glancing about I did see that his bedroom wasn't as tidy as the rest of his home, there were gold coloured clothes on the bed and gold high heels nearby. His hand held me tighter; I could feel sweat forming on his palm.
"SÃ, sÃ," He declared as if he remembered. "I left it by my shaving mirror."
"Maybe I'll wait here for you..." I tried to say as he pulled me into his bathroom.
Oscar pushed open the door and dragged me with him. Inside the room I did eventually see a nice non-magical turquoise brooch; what however caught my attention was his naked wife!
"Ualaaaaa!" She screamed as if the Umayyad's had returned. She was completely nude in front of us, her towel was on the counter nearby. "Ostras!!!"
Her skin like Oscar was a very light brown, and her nipples a very dark brown. Her body was slim and taught, you could tell she worked hard to look good.
Her light brown hair was wet and loose, it looked to be about shoulder length.
"I am so sorry." I said trying to leave; her husband however wouldn't let me go!
I brought my free hand up to cover my eyes, then regretted it instantly! I hadn't seen a fully nude woman in so long that I was hard! Very hard! So hard I feared that tent in my drawers was visible!
"¡Fuera!" She roared loud enough to make Hannibal himself blush.
"Venga Si." Oscar said meekly as he turned to lead me from the bathroom.
"Um..." I need to pack I said to my confused friend.
"SÃ..." Oscar said in a defeated tone.
The last five minutes had been baffling to me, I sported a painful erection... and I didn't know why. Well I knew why, but I didn't know why Oscar led me to his naked wife. I wanted to ask him, but alas, I had somewhere to go.
I went to his living room and quickly unpacked my luggage as I packed my day bag. Oscar stood by and helped as best he could, neither of us spoke of his wife, or what happen. She quickly dressed to lurk in the shadows; with angry eyes at us.
"I am so sorry señora" I said to the fiery mad woman. She huffed in disgust.
"Where will you go?" Oscar asked.
"It's called San Carlos de Barclay..." I started to say.
"The abandoned church?" Oscar interrupted. "Why there."
In the background I could see that Oscar's wife held her breath, unsure if this were a good thing or bad. She wore a gold dress with a matching gold coat overtop, it was low cut displaying the tops of her firm breasts teasing me. I could still close my eyes and see them without any clothing covering.
"I have many friends from an island named for the Saint." I said my bag now packed.
"Ah yes." He said following me to the door. "Will you let me drive you?"
His wife seemed to follow us close enough to hear us speak. Her eyes seemed more full of anger than before. It seemed almost as if she feared I would defile the old holy place.
"No you go back to the conference, I will take a cab and be back for lunch." I said opening his door.
"As you wish. I shall see you soon my friend." He said as the door closed after us, I could see his wife's brown eyes staring at us full of fury.
"Oh take this for good luck." Oscar exclaimed jamming something into my hand.
I opened my palm to see the blue gem we invaded his wife's morning routine to find. I didn't want to be rude, but I also didn't want to keep it, much like all other blue jewellery I had encountered, it only brought bad luck.
Sometime later I was outside the city in what felt like the Wild West of America! It was arid and dry, there were even cactus! All that was missing were saloons and tumbleweeds. I was only a few kilometres away from the abandoned church; I wanted to clear my head before with a relaxing walk before entering.
From what I had heard of the Church, it was a place of pilgrimage up until the Spanish Civil war when it was used by one of the factions as a hold-out. After that it remained unoccupied.
I could already feel the walk refreshing me, literally the day before I was working in the Multi-National Head Quarters in Afghanistan. Days before that I was on a combat patrol; re-adjusting to a non-conflict zone took time.
I looked over and saw a shepherd with similar clothes to me; khaki shorts with a khaki shirt.
"He doesn't have to worry about camel spiders." I said to myself out loud laughing.
My mind wandered off as I continued to walk, I thought about Oscar's wife. Her body was so tight! I doubt she could run a marathon with me, but I had no doubt she could cycle one.
I mused about her firm breasts with their dark nipples; my penis started getting hard as it did before... she was beautiful! Too beautiful! I would need to find a hotel; staying there was mistake. If I stayed there the night more mistakes would surely follow.
A glint off in the distance had me spooked! I was on the ground and rolling away in the standard anti-sniper maneuver.
"Sniper! Sniper! Sniper!" I yelled rolling in the sand.
"Someone get some Whiskey Papa up on that hill!" I roared out as I took cover behind a large rock.
"Kanker!" I swore as I rolled, I didn't want to face a sniper again!
Safely behind cover I finally realized I was in Spain... and not Afghanistan! That glint was certainly a pair of binos, a pair that belonged to a bird watcher and not a gunman.
Laughing, I stood to dust myself off. I wondered if the shepherd had seen me and was chuckling at my silliness.
Looking over in his direction I intended to wave and say I was alright, instead what I saw shocked me! Three men were approaching him rapidly with angry looks on their faces far fiery than Oscars wife!
Instinct kicked in as I ran towards the unfolding melee! In hindsight I should have dialed the police, but it was too late for that.
"Hey!" I shouted at the four men in English. "Stop!"
No one looked at me. I decided to try something else.
"Stop-o!" I yelled, followed by, "Arret-o!"
I hoped that something I said was Spanish. The men looked at me with confusion in their eyes.
"Два?" One of them said, it sounded like dvah to me.
The three attackers looked at each other before wordlessly deciding that I was fresh meat. The poor shepherd was on the ground pleading for mercy.
All I could smell was cheap cigarettes and vodka as I tried to verbally chase them off. On a hill a way off I could see a blonde haired woman dressed in blue waving a pair of binoculars and shouting.
"Don't worry ma'am." I said waving back. "I got this."
The leader of the trio looked at the lady, then took a drag off his cigarette before motioning to his comrades to them get me. A tall muscular bald man ran at me, I easily tossed him to the ground then did the same to the black haired man with blue eyes.
Their leader puffed on his smoke as he picked the shepherd's pockets. I debated kicking him in the head, but his friends were back on their feet!
I took another step back then yelped as I fell on my ass, I then squealed as a sharp pain started at my ankle then shot up my leg! I had twisted my ankle!!!
The bald one leapt at me once I hit the ground! Instead of trying to punch me, he let his weight pancake me to the ground!
The other two rushed at me! I struggled to no avail! They cleaned out my pockets, then grabbing my day pack they ran off!
Sitting dumbfounded I dreaded how bad my new injury was. I also wondered why my attackers ran off so quickly until I looked over at the shepherd to find a pistol pointed at my face!
"¡PolicÃa! ¡Manos arriba!" The policeman barked angrily, I could only sigh in reply.
Later I found myself in the last place I wanted to be... on Oscar's couch with his wife sitting next to me.
"Has sido, tan valiente..." She said stroking my cheek and looking into my eyes with less hatred then earlier in the day.
She still wore her gold outfit, leaving me struggling to meet her eyes. She however now didn't seem to mind presence now.
"¿Cómo estás? How is your ankle?" She asked running a hand up my leg.
Goosebumps fired up my body! I inhaled deeply as I squirmed under her touch; all I could smell was her perfume, my senses were overwhelmed! My penis could no longer remain asleep.
"I... uh... feel ok..." I said dumbly as she leaned in closer, her hand now pressed down on my hip.