Clown Princess of Albania

So, um, I've got a bit of a problem. I'm not sure how to say this so I am just going to say it. My name is Theodore Emmett Xavier, and my friends call me Tex. It's essentially my three initials, if you will. I know, I know, you can't have three initials. Hey, if Hollywood actor Jonathan Taylor Thomas can do it, so can I. Anyhow, where was I? Oh yeah, I was about to confess one of my most disturbing secrets. I am sexually attracted to female clowns. There, I frigging said it!

By all rights, I am a very normal person. Six feet two inches tall, slim and square, with light brown skin, a thick Afro, and thick nerdy glasses, that's essentially me. I was born in the City of Montreal, Quebec. My father Luther Jacques Xavier is originally from the island of Haiti and my mother Alexandra Emmett is white, originally from Quebec City. They met at the University of Montreal in the late 1980s, fell in love, got hitched and had my sisters Nicole, Henrietta and I. Yes, we're an interracial family but there are plenty of families like us across Canada. It's the twenty-first century, people. Get used to it.

I moved to the City of Ottawa, Ontario, to study Journalism at Carleton University. It's got one of the best journalism programs in the country. Anyhow, back to my main point. I am a guy who is turned on by female clowns. So, um, I sat at a quiet corner of the campus library one afternoon and indulged my, ahem, fetish. I went online and typed "female clown anal sex" and browsed through the various hits that popped up until I saw something I liked. On Porn Hub, I saw a white female clown with a big ass get fucked up the ass by a well-hung dude. Nice, but not exactly what I was fishing for.

I really like interracial porn, and love watching well-hung black studs like Lexington Steele, Brian Pumper and Wesley Pipes fuck the hell out of them big-booty white chicks the porn industry is saturated with. Too bad that my special interest isn't exactly mainstream. Where exactly does a brother have to go to find porn videos that show black guys having sex with white female clowns? Yeah, that's what I thought. This one is a real head scratcher, ladies and gentlemen. What's a horny brother to do?

I searched page after page on porn site after porn site, and couldn't find what I so desperately craved. Bored and disappointed, I clicked out of those sites and then did the homework assignment that's due five days from now. I had to write a thousand-word essay about the media's role in the treatment of Aboriginals in Canada. After finishing the assignment, I went for a walk around campus. All around me, October was in full bloom. I was walking toward the university center building to go get some coffee when I saw a rather unusual sight. A tall white chick with blonde hair and a big ass. Oh, nothing unusual there. We've got a lot of those on campus, but this one was dressed like a clown.

I took a closer look, and my heart skipped a beat. For I recognized the clown in question as Ledina Pernaska, an Albanian gal I had a class with a year ago. I remember Ledina as this bossy broad who always had all the answers in class. I had to shout over her during class discussions because I couldn't get a word in edgewise. Um, the last time we spoke, Ledina and I had words. Not the type of words I'll write here, folks. Suffice to say, Ledina and I aren't each other's favorite people. Or at least, we weren't until fairly recently.

You see, this otherwise brilliant professor of ours had the not-so smart idea of putting Ledina and I together for a group project. Since we're both smart, opinionated people, and kind of fall into the know-it-all category, nobody else in class could stand either of us. We ended up working together...and it was like a meeting of fire and gasoline. Um, we got a good grade for the assignment and I got a B plus for the class, but Ledina basically told me that if I ever spoke to her again, she'd kick my ass. Nevertheless, I approached her.

Ledina was in line at Tim Horton's, and I lined up right behind her. Now, the question is, how do I get her attention? Tapping her on the shoulder would cause Ledina to whirl around and start slapping me. I cleared my throat loudly until the world's sexiest female clown turned around and gazed at me, a look of utter shock in those blue eyes of hers. I smiled and held my hands up in the air. The bright red hat, clown makeup and the striped clown costumed looked really good on Ledina. Putting a smile on, I complimented Ledina on her outfit, and acted casual, as if we were old buddies.

Ledina hesitated, then smiled. Around campus, I'd seen a few students in Halloween costumes. My buddy Chris, who's from Jamaica, dressed up as Teal'C, the alien warrior from the Stargate television series and movies. Last year I dressed up as John Stewart, the Black Green Lantern from Cartoon Network's various Justice League series. My ex-girlfriend Stacey Ramirez, a fiery Latina who stomped all over my heart by dumping me for my former friend Roy, dressed up as Hawkgirl. Everyone thought Stacey and I made a cute couple. Too bad the bitch was evil. Anyhow, Ledina cleared her throat loudly, snapping me back to the present.

I looked at Ledina dumbly as she asked me who I was for Halloween. I hesitated, and then reached into my backpack. I bought a cheap blue Captain America mask at the Dollar Store inside Saint Laurent Mall and figured I'd take a few pictures in it and post them on Facebook. I'm not exactly Mr. Popular on campus and can count my friends on one hand. No Halloween party invites for me. Well, you should have seen the way Ledina's eyes lit up when I pulled the mask. Smiling, I put it on. Ledina grinned and took out her cell phone, and next thing I know, this gorgeous, at times scary blonde chick took a couple snapshots of us together. Well, guess who's thrilled?

That's why, when Ledina invited me to a Halloween party organized by her friend Rachel, I was all smiles and nodded so vigorously my head almost popped off like a bobble-head. In my excitement, I took out my cell to take a couple of snapshots with Ledina but guess what happened next? Ledina must have thought I wanted her digits for she started dictating them to me. Well, I was surprised but acted cool and punched the numbers in my cell. I got my coffee, and Ledina got herself an ice cap, and then we parted ways with a half-hug. Quite a turnaround, eh?

The end of October 2015 came, and I went to Ledina and Rachel's apartment in Barrhaven for the party. I wasn't Captain America. Nah, I decided to be someone much cooler. I dressed as Blade, the Vampire Hunter. The first Marvel superhero of African descent on the big screen. I grew up watching Wesley Snipes character Blade killing vampires in the Blade Trilogy. The apartment was full of people, almost all of them white, save for a couple of Asian chicks, and I was very relieved when Ledina came to greet me at the door.

Ledina's eyes lit up when she saw me. Granted, I looked more like the Blade from the 2006 Spike TV series than the Wesley Snipes version, but Ledina came to me, all smiles, hugged me and told me I looked hot. Ledina was still dressed like a clown, only this time her striped outfit was multi-colored, and her hair was dyed bright red. The sexy clown makeup was on, and Ledina was smoldering. I hugged her tightly, thanking her for inviting me. Yeah, I'm not the cool as ice type of brother. I'm the friendly and at times emotional one. That's why a lot of chicks don't dig me. Ledina did, and that's what counts.

Ledina gave me a tour of her place, and I greeted her roommate and best friend Rachel, a plump brunette, and exchanged handshakes with Rachel's boyfriend Lloyd, and this dude named Tobias whom I'd seen around the campus library. I marveled at the size of Ledina's place. A four-bedroom apartment in suburban Barrhaven, with a living room, a washroom, two closets and a kitchen. Man, compared to that, my one-bedroom place in Vanier Parkway near the Saint Laurent Mall wasn't much. I smiled and thanked Ledina for inviting me, and the tall sexy blonde purred like a kitten.

The party got to a slow but nice start. Everywhere people were dancing and smoking weed while Linkin Park music played in the background. I surprised everyone by requesting to Tobias, the apparent DJ, to play the cool new song "Coming For You" by my favorite band, The Offspring. You should have seen the way the white dudes and chicks stared at me when they found out I was into this type of music. Apparently, as a brother, I'm only allowed to like Rap and Hip Hop. As if!

Ledina took things a step further and played the music video on the big-screen TV, and then she danced with me. My heart thundered in my chest, but I put my hands on Ledina's hips and she put her arms around the back of my neck. This isn't really the type of music video you dance to, but I love it. Ledina and I looked in each other's eyes, and I smiled. People were dancing and making noise all around us but we ignored them. Seriously, I've clashed with this tall, bossy blonde chick at almost every turn, but now, I'm starting to think I might like her.

Ledina and I finished our dance, then we went out in the backyard to smoke and talk. Well, I don't smoke but Ledina does. The tall Albanian cutie told me how surprised she was that I was a chill guy and not the uptight bozo she previously thought I was. I laughed, for I totally deserved that. I was a bit uptight and fussy in class. It's a smart guy's dilemma, you know? Plus, it's not easy dealing with a chick who might be smarter than you AND has a killer body. Hey, I'm man enough to admit it. I told Ledina as much, and she laughed. Not for the first time I noticed that Ledina had a really nice smile. So, um, I leaned over and tried to kiss her. Face palm moment right there, folks.

Ledina looked at me like I was crazy, and I apologized. Seriously, I've got lousy timing when it comes to the ladies and I'm lousy at reading signals. Hey, I'm a nerd, alright? I was wracking my brain to figure out what to do next. You try to kiss a gal and she stops you cold. Maybe I should high-tail it out of there, or blame it on the root beer I had, or act like nothing happened? I flashed Ledina a weak smile, and wished I could burrow into the ground like Bugs Bunny. No such luck. Man, ever since Stacey Ramirez dumped me, I haven't been the same.

I was still deep in thought when Ledina did something most unexpected. The tall Albanian cutie leaned over and kissed me. I kissed her back, hesitantly at first, then passionately. Ledina grinned fiercely when we came up for air, and then gestured for me to follow her. I followed her into the building basement, and once there, we had ourselves some fun. A most unexpected development, to be sure, but this nerd isn't the type to look a gift horse on the mouth, so to speak.

Into the basement Ledina led me, and once there, the sexiest female clown ever showed me what she was working with. We did our thing on an old couch that looked older than us. Ledina and I kissed, and I pulled her close, drawing her to me. Her hands roamed all over me, and I fumbled with the buttons of her clown jumpsuit. Ledina wanted to get naked but I let her keep the top on. I caressed her lovely breasts, and then kissed a path down to her pierced belly button, and then went further down.

A smile spread across my face when I realized that my favorite clown wasn't wearing any panties. Ledina grinned wickedly and spread her creamy white thighs invitingly. I knelt before her and inhaled her womanly fragrance. Ledina tensed as I began my approach into her but I told her to relax. Miss Albania is in good hands. Folks, I absolutely love eating pussy and was delighted to show Ledina what I was working with. I began licking her pussy, sliding my tongue inside, followed by my fingers. I pulled on her hood, teased her clit and watched as Ledina moaned deeply, then relaxed and enjoyed.

Eating pussy isn't something which can be rushed, folks. It's an art form. Essentially, it's one of the few good things my ex taught me. I love using my mouth, tongue and fingers to sexually excite a female. I licked, probed and teased the hell out of Ledina, and in the end, I had Miss Albania howled in pleasure and writhing wildly. What can I say? I've got skills. Next, Ledina showed me what she was working with. The sexy Albanian clown grabbed my dick and sucked on it like a lollipop. My knees buckled as Ledina sucked my dick with gusto, and soon I was harder than a rock. I wanted to fuck badly but didn't have a condom on me. Smiling, Ledina pulled one out of her pocket. Damn, is she awesome or what?

Ledina and I did it right there on the couch. The freaky, sexy lady clown got on top of me, and impaled herself on my condom-covered magic stick. I put my hands on Ledina's hips but she batted them away. Resting her hands on my shoulders, Ledina began riding me. I bucked my hips, thrusting upward and burying my dick inside her hot, wet pussy. Locking eyes with me, Ledina told me to fuck her. Hell, at times it felt like Ledina was fucking herself using my dick. Passionately I thrust into her, and her moans and groans mingled with my own.

Much later, Ledina and I went back upstairs. We'd definitely lost track of time, for people were actually done with the music and the dancing, and people were eating pizza, drinking beer and watching the movie Insidious. Wow, okay. As Ledina and I walked in, sheepish smiles on our faces, people started clapping. Far from embarrassed, I pulled Ledina close and kissed her on the lips, in front of everyone. This time, Ledina kissed me back. Yup, interesting times were upon us both. Happy Halloween, people!