You know that hugely popular strip TV show on Italian TV. Yes, everyone dreams to be on that show, I know. And guess what, I was freaking fortunate to be on that kind of a show. I believe myself to be God's most favourite child because my life went upside down through (not after) the course of the show obviously in a good way. Nobody, literally nobody, can (on this planet or anywhere) ever imagine that life-changing experience.
I was a happy, newly wedded wife to a very loving and caring husband for one and a half years by then. He would always fulfil all kinds of demands by me. For example, we had already visited at least one country in every continent by then, of course, except Antarctica. We had been doing all the kind of crazy stuffs that newly wedded do and I was in such a high getting to fulfil all my whimsical demands that I had hardly any such wish from my hubby by then.
We were doing all things right and we had done everything we could do except sex that is the main course of sex (inter-course: P). Yes, you heard it right. No there was no issue, disease or any dysfunctions in me or my hubby. It was just the pre-condition set by me for our marriage. We (actually I: P) had decided that we're just going to chill for at least two years before planning for a kid. And he was so supportive that he was up for it instantly. Being a college beauty queen, I had had good one or two affairs at my college but somehow couldn't manage to get intimate physically with any of them. So I had never had sex before and after that eventful period (you'll find out). So you can gauge how sensitive I (both body & mind) could possibly be.
Another thing, I used to be a small time, rather a proud failed model. Just because I was (quite) beautiful, with a good height, a smiling face and good assets (:P), I thought I could be the best model ever. But it was a harsh lesson for me. I realised that modelling is not just about a good face and a sexy figure. It's much more hard work. BTW, I could have become a lingerie or bikini or nude model or even a porn star like some of my ex failed colleagues and earn very handsomely. But that was not me and no I don't judge them for their choices.
My two year deadline was approaching real fast and my hubby would always share his wish to be a father and that he can't wait to become one. But I was not really excited nor was I worried. I was just indifferent and little anxious. Because I knew having a kid is not the end but the beginning of a completely new life and a big, fulltime responsibility.
I always used to wonder if had missed something in life. Whenever I was alone and ponder in that way one thing always came to my mind. I had never had any crazy kind of affair with any guy wherein we would passionately long for each other especially bodily. And before I could even realise, it had gradually started to create emptiness inside me. It got amplified greatly with several later experiences. We had been to quite a few beaches around the world and twice to nude beaches as well just out of curiosity. We just wanted to see who were these weird (social) animals that roam around naked in the open.
Once we were in such a beach. We would see people randomly start having sex with strangers just anywhere. They would not care if they are stared at by other people or even being shot on cameras. So both the characters and the audience would be happy at the end of their shows. Most of them are the so called rich people whose hygiene, cleanliness etc. all goes for a big toss. On those beaches, they're nothing better than those stray dogs quite literally which to me is quite funny actually. We all cringe at these kinds of stuffs for sure. But there's a good aspect to it which was definitely not by design but rather by sheer desperation and perverseness of the people involved. But it's still acceptable in my opinion though one could doubt the longevity of this hidden change happening. It's the total disdain and contempt of all the so called moral, societal norms and values like class division, racism and so on at those exotic beaches. It's also leading to an identical, silent change in the society which might be slow but definitely steady. It's the ethnical, interracial, intercultural intermingling and acceptance that I am talking about. For example, today a blonde woman can love and marry an African black man if she so desires without giving to a FUCK to the world. This is what pleases me the most. I dream of a world where there would be no division of people on any basis and one should be able to pursue for their true love. Now don't get me wrong I am all for ethics, moral values in people for maintenance of social order but not for the ones that would divide people instead of uniting them.
Enough of my speech, now let's come to the point. While at those beaches, some of the sights were like: a rich looking blonde was having sex with a homeless man, folks doing all their fetish things and so on. At one occasion, a really healthy, body builder kind of a black man approached me and was like I want to have sex with you right now, right here. We were taken aback and I literally had to close my hubby's mouth. Of course if refused him but that big, black rod kind of a thing that was swinging like a damaged pendulum between his legs really got printed on my mind like a mark of a permanent marker. And as I was curiously gaping at his meaty tool he winked at me, gave a little squeeze to my left boob and went away very sportingly. He must have realised that we were new to those beaches. Normally I would slap a person if someone dared to do something like that to me. But here I was left to smiling to myself and raising my hand like a fool as if I wanted something from him. It was quite funny and embarrassing at the same time for me.
Afterwards, we came across a lot of guys (mostly black men) who were just too brazen in trying to get me to sleep with them. Some of them were like that would be the greatest fuck of my life; some- that I would regret if I didn't sleep with them. I would keenly listen to their forecast/ warnings etc. and observe them all through these encounters. I noticed that almost all of them were well hung even those who looked poor. I also found all of them quite handsome as well not just due to their big tools but their unique, appealing physiques, appearances, their confidence and just their general personality and swag that come so naturally to them. I had never seen even a black teenager like that and here I was being presented with fully grown, matured black men one after another in their full glory. I was in a dreamlike state and it was surreal to me. Suddenly, I turned towards my hubby and the reality hit me really hard like a website taking half an hour to load & then abruptly crashing. All of a sudden I found him so plain, mainstream and unexciting. I felt like he was a yes boss guy; always ready to say yes to all my demands. Look it's not my fault, even I don't know how a woman's brain functions: P I wondered what he might be thinking.
Fast forward, one afternoon while I was immersed in all kinds of thoughts, those images, graphics of black men asking for a fuck came in a big way in my mind just out of nowhere. From then onwards, those graphics and memories were a constant thought in my mind. I would always go red whenever I see a black person and wonder if he is well hung too and what not. I also started getting irritated with my hubby for no reasons. It was then that I started watching those wonderful (actually crap: P) strip game shows on TV. Just like that one fine day I demanded to my hubby that we should go on a show like that. This time though he didn't say yes readily (: P). What for he would ask. I said simply because it looked fun and you earned big prizes too. To be honest the prizes were not huge actually and it's quite self-deprecating and embarrassing as well. Hubby was not impressed with my answers. But somehow I managed to convince him though and we were finally selected to be on the show as one of the participating couple.
