"Ughhhhhhhhh ... I don't care. Just get something you really want."
In truth, I expected this response. We celebrate every Thanksgiving with his family, and the only thing they truly share is a love of drinking. I don't complain about this, because we all have our vices.
"Come on, hun, come with me." I pleaded, although I already knew the answer.
"Shit, Janet, its 4 AM. There is no way I'm getting up."
"But Tom, its Black Friday. Don't you want to come shopping with me?"
"Sorry, babe, but fuck no I don't. Just go and have fun."
Theatrically, I stomped off, put on some old sweat pants and a sweatshirt, and made my way back to his side of the bed. "How do I look?" I joked with my still drunk and very tired husband.
"At least you'll be warm. Now let me sleep, woman!"
And with that I left the room, grabbed my long winter coat, picked up the bag I had packed the night before, and headed out to my car, which started easily. I was looking forward to the heat once the engine got warm. I had a 45-minute drive ahead of me and I wanted to be comfortable.
I reached Rt 90 pretty quickly, and took 'the pike' out west until I hit 495. I took 495 north and got off on Rt 9, and then jumped on Rt 30. I could have stayed on Rt 9 but I needed to make a call, and I knew that I would be able to park at Friendly's while I dialed the numbers.
After 3 rings a sleepy voice answered, "What?"
"Hello, I'm sorry for calling so early, is this Richard?"
"Yea, you got him. Who is this and why are you calling?"
"Hi Richard, I'm happy to reach you, and I'm sorry for calling so early. I'm looking to purchase a specialty item, and my friend Wanda recommended you. I'm calling so early, because I'd like to make the purchase in private, before normal store hours. Is that possible?"
"Its 5 AM. But, yea, for Wanda I'll open the store. When will you be here?"
"Thank you! I can be there in 15 minutes. See you soon."
I had a feeling he'd open for Wanda. Guys will do a lot for her, because she cannot -- and has not -- said no to a guy for as long as I've known her.
And God knows I love her, but she cannot keep her mouth shut. I'll have to ask Richard to keep this between us. Heading back on Rt 9, I hope that Wanda, as chatty as she can be, is at least honest in her descriptions.
I found the establishment easily, noticed both that the light was on and that the closed sign was still in place, and I parked out back. I turned off the engine, gathered my bag, walked around front, knocked on the door, and was welcomed inside.
So far Wanda had not exaggerated. Richard was just as described. He was at least 6'4", had impossibly broad shoulders, a narrow waist, and muscular arms. His jeans fit loosely, his shirt was stretched across his chest, and his feet were bare.
He must have noticed me looking. "Sorry for the bare feet, I've just come down from the apartment upstairs." He said this matter-of-factly, and I thought I sensed a little disappointment in his tone.
My guess is that he was hoping for 'Wanda' and what he was getting was a stranger in sweats. "Don't be silly. I am thrilled that you are helping me out!" I assured him. And with that a smile broke out across his face. His white teeth emerged from between his full lips, the image all the more striking given the contrast with his almost blue-black skin.
"Do you mind if I use the restroom? I've had a long drive." He didn't mind, of course, and showed me to the bathroom.
Before beginning my transformation, I took a moment to gather myself. Richard was beautiful, and we contrasted perfectly. He stood almost a foot taller than me, his body was sharp and hard, whereas mine was curvy and soft, even his dark hair differed from my blond curls.
Not wanting to wait too long, I quickly removed my sweats and sneakers, and replaced them with a black dress and leather spike-heeled boots. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail, heavily emphasized my make-up, applied a thick coat of red lipstick, put my long coat back on, and walked back into the store.
He seemed to miss the boots, but I could tell that he clearly noticed my make-up. His interest flared up. 
"Now, just what is it that you need, at this time of the morning, in an 'adult' store?"
"My husband suggested that I purchase 'a little friend'. Although I shouldn't say it out loud, I think he believes it will help with the growing discrepancy in our sex drives. And he might also like to see me with it, on occasion." As I spoke, Richard and I never broke eye contact.
"OK, I think I know what you're looking for. Come on down here and I'll show you some options." And with that he led me down to a glass case containing a large number of sex toys.
"So -- battery or manual powered?" Seeing my slightly confused look, he clarified. "Are you looking for a vibrator or a dildo?"
"Oh, sorry! Definitely not battery powered. That just seems odd to me."
"Alright then, a dildo it is. What size are you looking for?"
"Well, I'm not really sure. What size do you have?"
"I think you mean 'what sizes do I sell'"! 
We laughed.
"They come in all sizes. Here, take a look."
He was right; the display had many, many dildos in different shapes and sizes, in different materials, differing in how lifelike they looked.
"I should probably get one like this." I pointed to a smallish, tan-colored one.
"Sure, if that's the one you want."
"My guess is it's the only one my husband won't mind seeing me with! But may I just look at a few others?"
"Look all you like."
"Some of these are really big!" I said in an offhand way.
"They get bigger." Richard replied.
I pointed at a particularly 'healthy' one and commented. "Wow, that's bigger than any real one!"
Richard laughed. "I assure you they come bigger than that in real life."
We shared a quiet moment, each enjoying the private message.
"What colors do they come in?"
"The real question is what color do you want?"
"I'm not sure my husband would be pleased if I answered that honestly."
"Then it'll be our secret."