Brown Eyes

The morning after the bowling trip, I woke up with sunlight shining directly into my eyes. There was no way I could go back to sleep; even when I turned away from the window, the light was still too bright. But at least when I turned away from the window, I could see Javier.

He lay on his side, facing away from me. His smooth, brown skin was tempting, but I held myself back from touching him. He was sleeping deeply, it seemed, and I didn't want to wake him. Not after the night he'd had. I'd taken clumsiness to a whole new level, and unfortunately he'd paid the price. I hadn't caused him to hurt his leg at the bowling alley, but I definitely hadn't helped the situation when I'd leaned wrong on it while trying to give him a blow job after we returned to his apartment.

I got out of bed slowly, hoping I wouldn't disturb Javier, and went to use the bathroom. When I came back, he was still asleep. Even though I knew I was awake for the day, I didn't feel like I should go to his living room while he was sleeping. This was the first time I'd been to Javier's apartment, and I wasn't comfortable enough to make myself at home until he woke up. So I got back into bed to wait.

For a while, I dozed off and on, trying to ignore the sun in my eyes. Finally, I woke to see Javier sitting on the edge of the bed. "Good morning," I said.

He turned and smiled. "Good morning. Did you sleep all right?"

"Yeah, until the sun came up. I was awake earlier."

"Why didn't you get up?"

"I didn't want to."

"So you just lay here until I woke up?"

"I slept some of the time. I think."

"You think?" He stood and stretched. "Ouch! Damn!" He rubbed his thigh. "Still hurts from last night."

"I'm sorry," I said.

"You didn't do it. You just didn't help."

"That's why I'm sorry."

He lay down and pulled me to him for a kiss. "It wasn't your fault. You leaned wrong, but you were trying to make me feel good when you did it. Don't worry about it. I've pulled muscles before; I'll be fine."

"I hope so."

"I will."

"Oh!" I got up. "Three B's, right? I gave you the backrub and the blowjob last night, so now..."

"No breakfast in bed." Javier stood again, grimacing as he put weight on his bad leg. "I don't actually have much here for breakfast, and I don't want crumbs in the bed. I was kind of joking when I said that."

"Oh." I felt foolish.

"I'll make some coffee, though. You have to head home soon, right?"

I looked at the clock. It was only nine, and since I had no one at home except my cats it didn't matter when I got there, but I figured Javier probably wanted me to leave so I could rest. "Yeah, kind of soon."

"Kind of?"

"I don't actually have to be home till late this afternoon," I admitted. "But I'll leave sooner. You need to rest that leg."

"Adrienne, if you can stay longer that's good. I want to spend time with you. Is this your usual negativity, or are you still upset that I'm hurt?"

"A little of both, I think."

"You need to stop being negative. You're a very attractive woman, but negativity isn't attractive. It upsets me to hear you put yourself down. As for me being hurt, your teeth grazed my cock but at least you didn't bite me, and you aren't the one who pulled my muscle."

"Is it a pulled muscle?"

"It feels like one, yes. I played high school football; I'm familiar with pulled muscles. Anyway, if you want to leave, of course I won't stop you. But don't feel that you have to leave on my account. You're welcome to stay a while. I like the company."

"All right, then I'll stay. I like the company too. But maybe I should take a shower."

"Feel free. I have soap and shampoo in there that you can use, and choose either of the towels and washcloths hanging up. I put new ones in there yesterday before you got here."

I was impressed. I probably wouldn't have thought to put out clean towels or washcloths for company. I wasn't used to having company. I'd had one overnight guest since my divorce, but he was so used to spending the night at places other than his home that he'd brought his own towel and washcloth.

I didn't feel right using Javier's shampoo, so I got my own out of my overnight bag, along with a clean set of clothes, and went into the bathroom. As I showered, I thought about the night before. Javier and I had gone bowling with some friends of ours from the adult chat group we belonged to. It had been at one of the chat group's parties that he and I had first met the weekend before. The connection between us had been immediate, and he'd gone back to my hotel room with me after the party. Unfortunately, the room hadn't really been mine, and the friend who was sharing it with me had come back while Javier and I were, well, in the middle of something.

We'd planned to finish what we'd started after the bowling trip, but because of Javier's injury and my aggravation of it, we hadn't been able to. But it had been a fun night anyway. We'd gotten to spend some time with friends, and on the way to the bowling alley, I'd experienced a first: I'd given Javier a blow job while he drove seventy-five miles an hour down the highway. I still wondered if anyone had seen us.

I finished my shower quickly, dried off and dressed, then went back to the living room to join Javier. There were two cups of coffee on the coffee table in front of him. "That one's yours," Javier said, gesturing. "There's milk and sweetener in the kitchen. I wasn't sure what you took."

"You didn't have to pour my coffee. Thank you."

"You're welcome, and I'm just being a good host."

I took the coffee into the kitchen and added some sweetener. I couldn't have milk, so I just put some cold water into the cup to cool down the coffee enough to drink, and went back to Javier. "No milk?" he asked.

"I can't have dairy products. I usually use soy milk in my coffee, or that nondairy creamer stuff."

"Ah. I'll remember that for next time you come."

He was already planning on my visiting again? That was a good sign. I might have been upset about hurting him the night before, but apparently he wasn't holding it against me. Then again, like he'd said, I hadn't hurt his leg. I'd just made it a little worse by leaning wrong.

I sat down on the couch beside Javier, and he put his sore leg up on my lap. "It feels better when I elevate it," he explained.

I grinned. "That's it, I'm just a leg prop."

"Uh huh." He groped my breast. "You're pretty sexy for a leg prop."

"Thank you."

I leaned toward him and our lips met. One of the first things I'd learned about Javier was that he was an amazing kisser, and this kiss reinforced my opinion. His tongue parted my lips, and as we kissed, his hand found my breast again. I moaned, though I didn't think he heard. His touch aroused me; then again, just looking at him aroused me. I'd never been with a guy as gorgeous as Javier, and it astonished me that he wanted to be with me. He'd called me beautiful and attractive, but I didn't think I was anything special.

I pushed that thought out of my mind. Javier was right; I was far too negative. It was something I'd learned from years of being picked on by others, and of being emotionally abused by my grandmother and my now ex-husband, but I wasn't the same person now that I'd been then. I was strong, and I was beautiful, and I had to let myself see that.

A bulge at the front of Javier's shorts showed that he was just as aroused as I was. I wanted to touch it, stroke it, but I didn't quite dare; I didn't want to hurt him again. And I was used to a man making all the moves, even though I didn't think Javier would mind being touched.

He broke the kiss and said, "What are you thinking?"

"That I want to touch you," I said before I could talk myself out of it.

"Then touch me. You don't have to wait for permission."

Hesitantly, I rubbed his cock through his shorts. He pushed down the waistband of his shorts, allowing his cock its freedom. I grasped it and moved my hand along its length. His sharp intake of breath indicated that I was doing something right. "What do you want to do?" he asked.

I wanted to try fucking again, but he'd been in so much pain when he got up that I didn't think it was a good idea. "This," I said instead.

"That's it?"

"I want you to feel good."

"I do feel good."

I wasn't sure what else to say, so I kissed him again. I wanted to make him come, but after several minutes of stroking, he said, "That's putting me to sleep. Why don't we watch a movie? And we can go into the chat room."

"Okay." I felt disappointed, but after all, if I wouldn't tell Javier what I was thinking, he had no way of knowing.

We spent some time in the chat room, teasing our friends by taking turns typing under Javier's screen name, TrueTouch. A couple of my close friends recognized my typing style after a few posts, and entertained themselves guessing which of us was typing. Our friend Hannah, the one who'd hosted the bowling night, solved the question by referring to us as "TrueCuriosity," a mix of Javier's screen name and mine.

By eleven o'clock, I was feeling restless and like I'd worn out my welcome. I still wanted more to happen with Javier, but I was too shy to make the first move, and he didn't seem to want to make a move. So I said, "I think I should go."

"All right." Javier signed out of chat and gave me a hug. "You don't have to. I don't mind if you stay longer."

"I know. Thanks. But I should probably get going. I have some lesson plans to write for work tomorrow." It was summer, but I was teaching a class for young children with multiple handicaps. Since my school year job of teacher's aide didn't pay through the summer, I was glad to have something else to do.

"All right." He stood carefully, putting as little weight as possible on his bad leg. "I'm glad you came down. I had fun, despite the leg. And the teeth."

I laughed, though I wished he'd stop teasing me about the teeth. I wasn't that bad at giving blowjobs; no one else had complained, anyway. "I had fun, too."

"Maybe you can come back next weekend. My leg should be healed by then. We have some unfinished business, I think."

"Yes, we do."

"So next weekend? You could come down on Friday if you want; we could have the whole weekend together."

"I have a family gathering I have to go to next Saturday, but that should be over by late afternoon, and I can come down after that."

"All right. Sounds good."

I stood up and he put his arms around me. I didn't want to leave; I wanted to feel more of his touch. But I had to get back to my real life. The time I'd spent with Javier so far barely felt real; it was too amazing to believe that I could have met someone like him.

He kissed me again, this time keeping it quick and easy, then went into his room and got my overnight bag. "I'll walk you downstairs," he said.

"You don't have to. It'll bother your leg."

"That's okay."

We went out to the hall, where Javier locked his door even though he would be coming right back, and walked slowly to the elevator. "Thanks for having me down," I said.

"You're welcome. It was fun, despite the injury. Next time, things will go better. Next Saturday, right?"

"Next Saturday." I couldn't believe he wanted to see me again, but I wasn't about to argue. I wanted to see him too much to argue about it.

At the front door of the building, Javier kissed me goodbye. "Drive safely," he said. "Call when you get home so I know you made it all right."

"I will. Take care of that leg."

"I will. At least no one will be here to lean on it."

"Which means no one will be here to give you a blow job."

"That's true, but I think I'll survive till next weekend." He kissed me again. "Talk to you soon, carina."

The drive home took me over three hours. I spent part of the time on the phone with friends, and part reminding myself that it wasn't my fault Javier had been hurt. And that he really did want to see me again, and genuinely thought more of me than I did of myself. I needed to watch what I said to him, no question about that. It bothered him when I put myself down, and his definition of putting myself down was different from mine. Comments that I intended as jokes, he took as me insulting myself, and he didn't like it at all. I just had to get over feeling like I wasn't worth his attention. Which was harder than it sounded.

But I wasn't the same person I'd been most of my life. I wasn't the one who'd been put down and sworn at and ranted at by my ex-husband, among others. I was stronger; I was beautiful and intelligent, and there was no reason at all that Javier wouldn't want to spend time with me. After all, he'd chosen me at the chat room party. There had been at least a couple dozen women there, and he'd chosen me. So why question it?

When I got home, I brought my stuff in and checked on my cats, then turned on my computer. Instead of immediately going into the chat room as I often did, I checked my emails and opened my diary. For almost an hour, I typed about my weekend and my thoughts and feelings about Javier. By the end of it, I'd come to the conclusion that I needed to be very careful. I was starting to feel more for Javier than I wanted to feel.

I'd just finished the diary entry when an IM popped up from Javier. "Thought you were going to call me when you got home."

"Sorry," I typed, adding a frownie face. "I thought you might be resting and I didn't want to bother you."

"You wouldn't have bothered me. I was concerned. I take it you made it home all right."

"Yes, I did. I'm sorry I didn't call."

"It's okay. I just wanted to make sure you were all right. I have to get some paperwork done for tomorrow, though, so I'll let you go. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay." I had the feeling he was angry with me for forgetting to call, but I didn't know what to say to make up for it. Other than apologizing again, but I'd been told in the past that I apologized too much.

"Sleep with the angels, doll," Javier typed.

"Sleep with the angels."

* * *

For the next couple days, I got up in the mornings, went to work, went home in the afternoons, and hung out in the chat room. Sometimes I did some writing, but I wasn't as motivated to write as I often was. I didn't hear from Javier on Monday, despite his saying that he would talk to me then, and the little negative part of me couldn't help wondering if he was still mad at me for not calling him Sunday.

Tuesday night, I was in the chat room when my phone rang. It was Javier. "Hello?" I said when I answered.

"Hello. How are you doing?" he asked.

"Okay, thanks. You?"

"I'm good. You're just okay?"

"Tired. I haven't gotten enough sleep the past couple nights."

"You need to drink more coffee. Is there any reason you haven't been sleeping?"

"Not really. It just happens sometimes."

"Ah. Well, drink more coffee and that should help you feel less tired. I'm sorry I didn't call you yesterday; there was an emergency with one of my clients. He attempted suicide, and I had to have him hospitalized."

"Oh, no! I'm sorry to hear that. Is he okay?"

"Yeah. It was kind of a half-assed attempt, but I had to take it seriously. I'd seen it coming and had told his family that they needed to keep an eye on him, but they thought he was just kidding around. He'll be all right now, though. The hospital will keep him until he's stabilized and hopefully get him on some medication."

"That's good. Are you okay?"

"Yes, thank you." He sounded a little surprised that I'd asked. "It was a late night, though, and I'm tired. I had clients scheduled all day today, so I couldn't even sleep in or take a nap. I might hit the sack early tonight, if I can finish the paperwork I have."

"They should give you time to do paperwork at work."

"You'd think. But there's always something else going on. I have to see my clients, I have to investigate families, I have to sometimes cover for other social workers if they're sick or on vacation. And I'm one of only two Latinos on staff, so when there's a Latino family involved, I usually get called in, especially if they don't speak English."

"That makes it harder."

"Yes, it does. But I'm home for the night now, sitting on my couch with my leg up. How was your day?"

"Good. I really like my summer job. The kids are adorable, and it's a lot of fun. When and if I go back to full-time teaching, I think I'd like to teach life skills. How is your leg?"

"It's better. Still sore, but I've been trying to take it easy on it. I should be all right by Saturday."

"I hope so. I'm looking forward to it."

"Same here. It'll be nice to see you again. And to fuck you."

Out of surprise, I laughed. "Likewise."

"Have you ever been fucked in the ass?"

"No, but it's on my to-do list."

"To-do list? An actual list?"

"Yeah. I wrote down all the sexual things I've never done that I want to try. Anal is near the top of the list."

"I'd love to fuck your ass. We'll have to see what we can do about crossing that off your list when you're here this weekend."

"Okay." My face grew warm. At least Javier couldn't see me blushing.

But apparently he didn't need to see it. "Are you blushing?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Does it embarrass you to hear me say I want to fuck your ass?"

I giggled. "Yeah, kind of."

"Do you want me to?"

"Yes."

"What do you want me to do? Tell me."

"I want you to fuck my ass." I choked back another bout of giggles.

"Then we'll do it. Do you own a butt plug?"

This conversation had entered the realm of the surreal. I wasn't used to talking to men about butt plugs, though I'd gotten advice in the chat room before buying one a couple months earlier. "Yes, but I've only tried it once."

"Did you like it?"

"It felt weird, but not in a bad way."

"Well, I want you to use it a few times this week to get your ass ready for my cock. Do you have a vibrator?"

"Yeah."

"Use the butt plug and the vibrator at the same time. And bring them with you on Saturday. Think about it. My cock in your ass, and the vibrator in your pussy. Would you like that?"

If the wetness between my legs was any indication, I'd definitely like it. "Yes."

"Are you wet?"

"Yes."

"Are you touching yourself?"

My hand stole into my shorts. "Yes."

"I'm hard talking to you about this. I'm stroking my hard, thick cock. What do you think about that?"

"I wish I was there to stroke it for you."

"So do I. Would that be all you'd do?"

"I'd suck it. And I'd watch the teeth."

He laughed. "Good. You're good at sucking cock, you just need more practice. And you probably aren't used to one as big as mine."

"Not really."

"Are you playing with yourself? Are you going to make yourself come?"

"Yeah." I flicked a finger against my clit and moaned softly.

"Think about my cock in your pussy," Javier said. "And in your ass. That's what you want, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"Are you coming?"

I wasn't, but not for lack of trying. With Javier listening, I felt too much pressure to orgasm, which pretty much guaranteed that I wouldn't be able to. So I pretended. "Yes, I'm coming!"

"Good. Come while you think about my cock fucking your hot ass."

I cried out through my fake orgasm. Once I was off the phone, I'd give myself a real one. "Did you like hearing that?" I asked.

"Yes. And I'll like it even more when I hear it on Saturday with my cock buried in your ass. I have to go finish my paperwork now. I'll talk to you soon."

"All right."

"Sleep with the angels."

"Sleep with the angels." I hung up, enjoying the warm feeling I got from his words.

* * *

I worked Wednesday and Thursday. During those two days, my only contact from Javier were a quick phone call and a short IM conversation; he was busy with clients and paperwork, and didn't have time to talk much. I was glad he got in touch, even if the conversations were short. I would have understood if he hadn't called or IMed at all, but I liked that he wanted to talk to me enough to make the time.