The sun streaming through the hotel room window woke me. Damn it. I'd only been sleeping for five hours. But being up till almost three in the morning had been worth it. It had given me time to spend with Javier.
Javier. I replayed the previous night in my mind, trying to relive every detail, from our first meeting, to our first kiss, to his fingering me in the bar parking lot. And our fucking in the bed I now lay in alone, though it had been cut short by the return of my roommate. Javier had said he wanted to see me again. I hoped that was true; I wanted us to have a chance to finish what we'd been doing before Allen returned.
But I doubted it would happen. What could Javier possibly see in me? "Beautiful" wasn't a word usually used to describe a man, but it was an apt description for him. His smooth brown skin, muscular build, deep brown eyes... Just the memory got to me. And this man had spent the entire party with me; shy, okay-looking me. It was like something out of a dream, or a fairy tale. I'd been Cinderella the night before in my short, sexy dress, and he'd completed the picture by playing my handsome prince. Surely it would just be a one-night thing. Fairy tales always ended after the prince showed up.
I turned over and looked over at the other bed where Allen, the guy whose room I'd crashed in for the night, had slept. His eyes were open. "Good morning," he said. "I take it you had a good night?"
"Yeah, until someone interrupted it," I teased.
"I told you and Javier I'd leave you alone for a while longer."
"It's okay. It's your room, and I really appreciate you letting me stay." I sat up and stretched. "Are you sure you don't want me to chip in for the room?"
"Yeah, it's fine. It didn't cost that much. Are you going to breakfast with the others?"
"Yeah. Are you?"
"Yeah, if they ever wake up. I think they said around ten, right?"
"I don't know. But if it's not till ten, it's going to be a while. It's just after eight."
"Good, because I need a shower." He got out of bed and took some clothes out of his overnight bag. "I have first dibs."
"Sure," I said. "It's your room."
He shut himself in the bathroom. I got up. My little black, sparkly dress was on top of my bag, proving that I hadn't completely dreamed the night before. I carefully tucked it into the side pocket of the bag and took out the clean shorts and T-shirt I'd packed, then sat on my bed to wait for Allen to get out of the shower.
The rose Javier had given me was on my nightstand. It had faded overnight; the small vial of water it was in was empty. Hopefully I could put more water in it and make the rose last until I got home. I planned on keeping that rose as long as possible. It would be a reminder of one of the best nights I'd had in my life.
Allen was out of the shower quickly. "Nice flower," he said.
"Thanks. Javier gave it to me."
"I figured. When are you going to see him again?"
"I don't know."
"Guess you should call him and find out."
I would have, if I'd thought to get his phone number. Damn it, how could I have been so stupid? Then again, he hadn't asked for mine either. "I'll see him in the chat room," I said. "Right now, I need a shower."
I went into the bathroom and turned on the water as hot as I could stand. While I washed, I imagined Javier's hands on me, his fingers penetrating me as they'd done the night before. I slipped my own fingers where I wished his were, but didn't feel like I could take the time to make myself come. I was afraid Allen would wonder what was taking me so long.
I finished showering and got dressed. Allen was sitting on his bed watching TV when I came out of the bathroom. "Deirdre called a few minutes ago," he said. "Most people are getting ready to go to breakfast. They're just trying to figure out where."
"Maybe next time, they'll pick a hotel with a restaurant," I said.
"I think everyone likes this hotel."
True. It was where people stayed after almost all of the chat room meet and greets. But it was a nuisance trying to find somewhere to eat when there was no restaurant anywhere nearby, especially when one wasn't familiar with the area.
A little while later, a caravan of cars left the hotel and headed into the nearby city to find a place to eat. We ended up at a chain restaurant, where we were told we'd have to wait while they set up an area big enough to hold the twenty or so of us who'd decided to go out for breakfast. We took over the small waiting area. "Girl, how did things end up with Truetouch last night?" Deirdre asked me.
"Good, I think," I replied. "He said something about seeing me again, but I didn't even get his phone number, or think to give him mine, so..."
"So you'll see him in chat and give him your IM or something," Deirdre said. "He really seemed to be into you. I know you'll see him again."
"I hope you're right." I felt a goofy smile take over my face. "He's so nice. And so hot! I can't believe he was interested in me."
"Don't start," another friend of mine warned. "You need to give up this putting yourself down bullshit. Don't you deserve someone like him?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Yeah, you do," Deirdre said firmly. "You two were so cute together last night. And what happened after you left the afterparty, hmm?"
I laughed. "Coitus interruptus."
"Oh, you're kidding!" the other woman said. "That stinks. Allen couldn't stay away, huh?"
"It wasn't his fault. It was his room; he had every right to be there."
"I was joking, Adrienne."
After an hour, we were finally seated. It took another half hour for our orders to be taken, and when the food finally came, there were several errors. We entertained ourselves by grumbling about the poor service and making fun of the manager who kept literally running in and out of the room, trying to correct mistakes and keep us happy. And flirting with Deirdre.
When we finished eating, I followed someone to the highway and headed home. It was a two and a half hour drive, plenty of time to replay the night with Javier over and over again. It surprised me how happy I felt thinking about him. Despite insisting to myself that last night had been a one-time thing, I found my mind wandering to thoughts of seeing him again, of where things might go with him.
Yeah, right. I shut my mind off. Things wouldn't go anywhere with Javier, just like they hadn't gone anywhere with any of the guys I'd had dates with. Some of those guys had become good friends, but nothing more; others had pretty much disappeared from my life. The chat site definitely wasn't a place to look for long-term relationships, and since Javier belonged to it, he almost certainly wasn't looking for a relationship. Or for anything ongoing. Added to that was the distance; he'd said he lived about an hour from the meet and greet, and I lived two and a half hours in the other direction. Even if we wanted to see each other again, it would be almost impossible.
That was better. Give myself reasons to think nothing good would happen, just like I always did. Why did I do this to myself? The previous night with Javier had been wonderful; even if we didn't see each other again, I'd have the memory of that night. And that memory made me feel good. "There's no need to make yourself feel like shit," I said out loud. "Enough other people have done that to you over the years. Let yourself enjoy what happened last night. Relax and see what comes next."
I turned up my car radio and spent the rest of the drive singing along with songs I only half knew. My voice wasn't the greatest and I had to fudge a lot of the lyrics, but at least it kept me from going down the negativity path.
I finally arrived home. I put the rose, still alive but wilted, in a vase and turned on my computer. I hadn't been kidding the night before when I'd told Javier I spent way too much time in the chat room. Some days it seemed like all I did was chat and eat. Since it was summer, I wasn't working much; after leaving my ex-husband seven months earlier, I'd gotten a job as a teacher's aide at a local high school, but of course that job didn't continue through the summer. I was spending a few weeks teaching younger children with multiple disabilities, but that job was only twenty hours a week. Fortunately, I didn't have many expenses. I was managing, barely, to keep my bills paid and have extra money for fun. But without a full-time job to keep me busy, and with my only friends being the people in the chat room, I spent most of my waking hours there.
I checked my email, then went into chat. I hadn't even had a chance to type my usual "Hello, everyone" when I saw "(((((OutofCuriosity)))))."
I smiled when I saw the handle of the typist. "(((((Truetouch)))))," I replied.
"How was your trip home?" he typed.
"Long," I replied. "I just got here."
