This story is based on real events in my life. All characters are 18 or older. This is the penultimate chapter of Breeding the Help.
*****
How my life changed after impregnating my family's young Filipino maid.
Bangkok, Thailand March 1997
My head rested against the glass window of the school-chartered coach, its rhythmic motion carrying me through the orange sodium haze of the midnight capital.
As we weaved through the muted chaos of Sukhumvit Road, I watched the labyrinthine patchwork of city lights and shadows, all tinged in an iridescent neon glow. Even though it was home for almost 3 years now, this place would always be alien to me; unapproachably exotic. Bangkok's wild heartbeat pulsed through the multi-lane artery of the highway, buzzing with a glut of traffic even this late. Cars, minivans, motorcycles, Tuk Tuks. Blessed aircon funneled down onto the top of my head from a nozzle in the cab's ceiling, gently tousling my hair. I glanced at the rest of the Track team in the seats behind and around me -- everyone else was asleep, still wearing our preppy-ass black and gold varsity Panthers jackets and sports uniforms.
We were on our way back from the 3-day, 4-night IASAS Track & Field Tournament in Singapore; the last one of my high school career. It'd been a grueling and ultimately disappointing championship. We ran our asses off but still came up short against Singapore American School. Second place sucked. Worse, our return flight to Bangkok was delayed by monsoon rains for 5 hours, so we'd only just gotten back.
It was alright though, because I'd clinched gold in the 100m Dash and almost won the 200m. I was so proud of myself for that. I couldn't believe that Coach Venables actually said that he'd help me pursue a D1 scholarship back in the US.
I was too stoked to sleep with all the possibilities still racing through my mind. Not like, getting a free ride to a university, but actually having that kind of value. I smiled to myself as I fished the medal from my pocket to check it out for what felt like the millionth time. Shiny, gold-embossed letters, glittering weightily between my thumb and index. Looking at it, it was the first time I felt a real sense of self-worth about my time served in high school. Like I wasn't a loser anymore. It might even bring Mom and Dad a moment of shared parental gratification.
I couldn't wait to tell Maria about it.
I felt a pang of desire, of need deep down when I thought about our family's 23-year old Filipina housekeeper waiting for me back home, now deliciously, salaciously 6 months pregnant with our secret offspring.
Our children were the irresistible consequence of what had begun as a barely consensual, exploitative relationship between our maid and me, her employer's domineering teenage son. But Maria was so lonely, so neglected and horny -- she couldn't deny what her nubile, sex-starved Asian body craved for long. Fucking wasn't enough for my depraved lusts and big white cock, though -- wanted to
breed
her. I wanted to claim her Pinay village girl womb from the moment I lusted for her and make her into my broodmare, heedless of the ramifications or the dangers of being exposed. My depraved intent bore fruit in ways I couldn't even imagine.
Like a tiger drawn to a she-cat in heat during our first raw, breeding fuck, the delicious pleasure-pain from my huge white dick filling and stretching her Asian cunt must have dragged down a pair of ovum that I savagely fertilized. Fraternal twins.
What had begun with the selfish need to fulfill my darkest fantasies slowly changed into something so unexpectedly wonderful. Love, like actual
love
between the two of us, as crazy and fucked-up and scandalous as it was. As our sexual liaisons continued, hidden from my parents, I discovered not only was Maria just as horny and filthy and depraved as I was; I eventually saw her as more than our hired help. She was the best fucking woman in the world. She was the horny, sexy Filipina mother of my beautiful, illicit children, and I fucking loved her. My secret wife.
For any sane 18-year-old, the sports meet in Singapore should have given me the space to get some abstinence-born clarity, step back from the intensity of my situation, and consider the unbelievable consequences of my actions. But it didn't. Instead of the kind of lucidity my parents and expat society would hope for? The separation only fueled my desire for Maria even more. It wasn't just physical either; I longed for her presence, her warmth, and the deepening connection we shared.
The sexual pride the two of us felt in our fertility at having twins always threatened to send us into a frenzy for one another. My parents were still none the wiser that our domestic helper was carrying around their own half-Filipino grandchildren as she worked for them all day. Worse, Mother was still psychotically convinced of my dad's infidelity; that
he
was having an affair with Maria and was the father of her young. Despairing, Mom couldn't find proof because it didn't exist, and since Dad had taken pity on our housekeeper and controlled all our finances, she couldn't outright fire Maria either. It didn't stop her paranoid delusions from gripping her every waking moment, trapping her in an alternating state of bitter, jaded bitchiness and outright accusatory hysteria.
The best days were when Mother heavily self-medicated on Valium and just slept for hours. Otherwise she was constantly in my ear with wine on her breath, trying to win me over to her side through coddling and manipulation, or trying to glean some scrap of incriminating observation or memory to use against my dad. It was a sick pit in my stomach to live with the realization that she was trying to sink her claws into me as the two of them maneuvered ever closer to what felt like the inevitability of divorce. Like I was a pawn to them.
Dad wasn't much better. Over the past two months, my father had practiced avoidance by consuming himself in work and rapidly escalating alcoholism. It felt like he was always asking Maria to bring him another beer, and another, and another. After dinner, he drank Jameson until he sometimes passed out in his chair and I had to shoulder him upstairs to bed. He claimed it was all to take off the edge from work stress, which was steadily mounting for him and his colleagues for some reason. Something about shaky Asian markets and a weakening Baht, whatever that meant.
'
Uncertainty, Champ! That's the name of the game. Don't expect you to understand. Just stick with what you're good at, Son. Attaboy.
'
I dreaded going home to them. But I ached to be with Maria again.