I left Jawan's, hating myself for uttering words that were unlike me. "I want your baby," echoed in my mind.
His semen was drooling out of my unprotected pussy, soaking the gusset of my panties. This only reminded me of the copious amounts of nigger seed that was still swimming around in my womb.
What was happening to me? Was I starting to suffer from Stockholm syndrome or what? Why had I become so compliant to their sexual deviance? Now I was only meekly protesting the sex before taking their big bare black cocks into my unprotected white body.
I really hated myself. I had been listening to the same lies Xavier was feeding to Mandi. Even taking the same African dick. What pissed me off the most though was that I actually laughed at her fate.
I stopped at the local pharmacy again to buy another early pregnancy test, still kicking myself. I couldn't believe the feelings stirring inside me. Was I prepared for the relationship that was blossoming between my rapists and I?
My boyfriend Chad was the furthest thought from my mind while having sex with Jawan or Xavier. The worst part was when having protected sex with Chad I was dissatisfied. Nothing could get me off then, and I could only think of big black cocks.
The orgasms I had while a large ebony shaft plunged in and out of me were amazing. I faked them with Chad. When he asked, "How was it?" I lied. I always covered my eyes with my arm, fearful he would be able to tell I was lying when I answered, "You're amazing!"
I tried to clear my mind of Chad as I picked out the home pregnancy test. I was shocked back to reality when I noticed the advertisements hung around the pharmacy counter of smiling women saying, "Be safe. Avoid disease. Always use condoms."
I hadn't even thought of the fact I could have caught a sexually transmitted disease until that moment. God knew what Xavier and Jawan might be carrying after fucking so many girls. "Great," I thought, "Now I need to make a doctor's appointment..."
Turning around I had to at least try to get Jawan and Xavier to use condoms. I looked at them for a moment, and picked out the only ones that seemed like they might fit. The box said, "XXXL with extra Sensitivity."
Walking back up to the counter to pay for my items, I noticed another advertisement that knocked the winds from my sails:
"Unplanned sexual encounter? Avoid pregnancy - there's always plan B."
Placing my items on the counter the old pharmacist just smiled down at me, "Will that be all?"
I was biting my lower lip nervously, "Ummm... could you tell me about the plan B?"
He started ringing up my items, raising his eyebrows. Jokingly he mentioned, "Looks like it may be too late for that now, dear."
"It's just, you know..." I nervously shifted from one foot to the other, "Just in case."
I listened to his explanation before making inquiries about cost, prescription and effectiveness. Of course I didn't have enough money with me to just purchase it over the counter.
I left the pharmacy more confused and nervous than anything else. My mind was running a mile a minute. Disease? Pregnancy? The taboo and risks I had taken over the last month had my pussy spasming out of control.
An itch started deep in my nether region that I couldn't ignore. It forced me to undo my shorts and try to scratch it. During the drive home I would occasionally pull my hand out of my shorts to suck my dripping fingers clean. Yet I was left unsatisfied no matter how hard I tried to achieve that sexual high Jawan or Xavier were able to give me.
I got home at about six-thirty just in time for dinner. All I did was pick at my food.
My mother noticed, "Are you okay sweetie?"
I meekly smiled at her, "Yeah. Why do you ask?"
"You're playing with your food and not eating," she responded.
"I'm just worried about school finals and graduation next month. That's all," I said.
"Every thing will be okay. You're a smart girl. No sense sweating the little things."
I stared at my plate, the deep brown gravy mixing into the pale mashed potatoes inseparably. If she only knew the truth, "May I be excused, Mom? I need a shower before I finish my homework."
"Of coarse dear. Just don't stay up too late," She said, kissing me on the head.
I turned on my shower before taking the pregnancy test. Minutes later I nervously watched as it finally showed a negative sign. I let out a pent-up sigh of relief.
"Not pregnant," I whispered, touching my stomach. "Yet," I added.
I hopped in the shower. As the hot water ran down my unblemished body, Jawan's semen started drooling down my thighs. "How could I be so careless?" I thought.
It sickened me thinking about all the nigger seed that my pale body had accepted over the last month. If my mother only knew how careless I was being, having unprotected sex with my black rapists for a whole month. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" Would be her only thought.
Try as I might to clean the living sperm from my pussy, I gave up. Remembering back to when he planted it in me, I knew much of it was forever out of reach.
My mind was so distracted with the thought of disease and pregnancy I literally stared at my school work, unable to concentrate for the next couple of hours.
I finally crawled into bed, trying to get a good nights rest. My dreams were filled with the images of armies of jet-black sperm swimming around an un-expecting egg. They were waiting to attack. For some reason when my alarm had gone off I was totally refreshed, despite recalling every image in my strange dream.
I didn't know if there is any scientific proof to what I had read, but I remembered a dream therapist saying that if you recall a dream vividly, it was because a part of you deeply enjoyed the thoughts.
Anyway, I got up and got ready for school. Never knowing exactly when I would be summoned by Xavier to come over for another 'study session', I just told my mom that I would be at the library after cheerleading practice.
When I was nearing the school I saw Xavier walking along the street. I started getting angry for some reason. I pulled over and glared at him. "Get in," I demanded.
The door was still open when I sped away, "Where were you yesterday?"
"Somethin' come up," His steely gaze caused me to get nervous.
"Why didn't you text me to tell me not to come over?"
"Last minute emergency," He said. Without turning his eyes from the road ahead he reached over and tweaked my right nipple.
"Stop it!" The wheel jerked a little as I recovered. I felt my panties getting wet.