Blending Into The Scenery

Stories in this contest can be based around any winter holiday, or even just end-of-the-year festive nostalgia and atmosphere.

No descriptive sex in this and it could have been posted in any of a number of categories. Whichever one you want is exactly where I should have put it. I decided on this category as this subject matter tends to draw the ire of those who wear those red 'Make America Hate Again' hats.

Please read my profile for my stance on feedback. Feel free to email suggestions or to start a conversation. Private messages work too.

Fred Ebb / John Kander: "'Cause you can look right through me, walk right by me, and never know I'm there."

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The week before Christmas should have been filled with skits, choirs, and plays. With the last day of the school calendar year coming up this Friday, every day and night was to be filled with holiday classics. It didn't quite turn out that way.

"Hey you, yeah you, you look like you work here?"

"Yes ma'am, forty plus years."

"Your name, first and last!"

"Willie Licker."

"Jim, lets shoot from here so they can see the damaged wall in the background."

"Looks good Ms. Kane. Five six seven eight."

Jim's camera light went green.

[Official serious sounding music]

"WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR A SPECIAL REPORT!"

"This is Kurt Hughes reporting from the Channel 4 newsroom. There's been an explosion at Lincoln Elementary School. Let's go to Kandi Kane live."

"Kurt, I'm with Willie Licker, a longtime maintenance worker at Lincoln Elementary School. Willie, you were here when the explosion occurred?"

"Yes ma'am. I'd just started dipping my fries into the catsup when I heard it. These are the best French fries but they're even better with catsup. Would you like one Ms. Kane?"

Willie's slow delivery and drawl irked Kandi. This was an emergency.

"No thank you Willie. What can you tell us about the explosion?"

"Well they were replacing the burner on the furnace. They just don't make furnaces like they used to. It was always so cold in the maintenance office. I'd complained to Principal Skidmore a few times. He drives a really nice blue sedan. Do you like blue Ms. Kane?"

"Willie, let's try to stay on subject. Can you point out Principal Skidmore?"

"Not for a while. I told them workers to turn off the gas valve but they didn't. You know they look at my gray hair and think old means stupid. It usually doesn't smell this bad around here Ms. Kane. That's the odor they put in gas so you know it's leaking. You smell really nice Ms. Kane."

"Thank you Willie. Is the gas still leaking?"

"No ma'am. After it blew a hole in that wall, I walked over and turned the main shut off valve off. You have to use a larger wrench on that one. Maybe they didn't have one of those. They could have borrowed one from me Ms. Kane."

"Wasn't that dangerous Willie?"

"Well Ms. Kane I did the math and it was one old man or four hundred kids. My job is to keep them kids safe so it was an easy choice. Besides, once that wall was blown open it wasn't nearly that risky. You see the gas was being vented outside so it couldn't collect and all of the flames were blown out by the explosion. Kind of like blowing out candles on a birthday cake. Do you still put candles on your birthday cake Ms. Kane?"

"Yes I do Willie. I still think you're a brave man. You mentioned that Principal Skidmore wasn't available. Why is that?"

"It's Monday so he and that Belinda teacher scoot on out of here as soon as the lunch bell rings. She's a looker. I thought she was married but I guess not. You're a looker too Ms. Kane. I don't think I've ever seen a black woman as beautiful as you. As a matter of fact, forget the black, you're the prettiest woman I've ever met. I bet you're wearing those green and red long stockings for Christmas. These fries are really good. I think it's something about being curly. Are you sure you don't want one?"

"No fries for me Willie, thank you though. Yes, I'm wearing these stockings for the season. Do you know where Principal Skidmore is?"

"Yeah, they go down the road by the hamburger joint. That's where I buy my lunch. They have the best fries but you almost have to beg to get them little catsup packets. I tried them a few times without catsup but they're much better with catsup. You have the prettiest eyes Ms. Kane. I bet if Santa worked around you he'd have a problem with the elves at his North Pole."

"Willie, what's the name of the place?"

"Jim's Burgers. I'd take you there and buy you lunch. Well that's if there isn't a Mr. Kane. I don't want no trouble you know. I once took a"

"WILLIE! That's not what I meant. Is that where Principal Skidmore and Belinda go?"

"Nope. They drive just past it to the No Tell Motel. On Thursday that Belinda teacher and the female gym teacher go there. She's a looker too. They just put new stripes down in the motel parking lot. Really makes it look classy. I used to drive"

"WILLIE! Let's try to stay focused. We have an emergency here. When do you expect Principal Skidmore back?"

"They usually come hustling in just before the third bell. I just fixed the bell on the south side. The old bell wasn't all that old Ms. Kane. Sometimes these things just break for no good reason. The other bell was sticking when"

"WILLIE! Stay focused. When does the third bell ring?"

"Let me check my watch Ms. Kane. My niece gave this watch to me for Christmas two years ago. No wait, it was three years ago. It has one of those chrono"

"WILLIE! PLEASE! What time?"

"Oh yeah, sorry Ms. Kane. You know your forehead wrinkles when you raise your voice. That skirt really goes well with your stockings. With your lips pursed like that you have the cutest dimples."

"The time Willie, the time Principal Skidmore gets back?"

"Well, let's see, that would be about sixteen minutes from now. Heck if you wanted to be the first one to talk with him, you can probably catch him there. It's only a two minute drive down the road."

"Kurt, back to you. We'll advise when we are on site."

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For the next five minutes Kurt showed the live video of the blown out wall of the school building. It wasn't all that exciting watching the fire and police standing around. An interview with a fireman and a commercial for the new SUV filled the gaps.

"We have Kandi Kane live again."

"Kurt, we are in the No Tell Motel parking lot waiting for Principal Skidmore and Belinda Matthews to emerge. Wait, I see a couple coming out of the room by the blue sedan. Yes, I think it's them. They are heading for the blue sedan."

"Principal Skidmore! Principal Skidmore! Can you comment on the explosion at your school? How about you Ms. Matthews?"

"No comment" as Skidmore tried to bury his head in his sports coat. Belinda used both hands to cover her face, but everyone heard her cry of anguish.

The cameraman shot a video from the front bumper as Skidmore backed up. When he felt threatened, the cameraman ducked away from the accelerating sedan.

"Back to you Kurt. I'll advise when we are on site again."

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"Wasn't that your wife Ralph?"

"Sure looked like her. What do suppose the chances are that there's another teacher named Belinda Matthews?"

"Squadoodle."

"Excuse me while I get the shit storm started."

Ralph walked out of the restaurant. He'd been eating lunch with his best friend.

"Hey Uncle Joe, Ralph here. You know those divorce papers I had you prepare? Can you have her served at Lincoln Elementary ASAP? I think this might be her last day working there?"

"Will do Ralph. Did you get something to confirm your suspicions?"

"Yeah, you could say that. I'll call you later and give you the lowdown."

+ + + +

"This is Kandi Kane reporting from Lincoln Elementary School. With me is Willie Licker, a longtime maintenance worker who witnessed the explosion.

Willie, thanks for joining us again. Can you tell the viewers about the furnace that exploded?"

"I think it was a Lennox two hundred thousand BTU furnace they were working on. We have four of them in that room. The two workers came running out screaming about a gas leak. Did I do good Ms. Kane? Is that what you wanted me to say?"

"Thank you Willie, for sticking to the facts."

"Not a problem Ms. Kane. You know when I started working here forty two years ago we had two furnaces break down on the same day. There was no explosion though. People just put their coats on while we fixed it. I think your eyes are even prettier than that gym teacher. She has really pretty green eyes."

"Again, thank you Willie. Do you think there were any children nearby when the explosion occurred?"

"I don't think so Ms. Kane. I really enjoy being around these kids, especially while they're still too young to hate."

"What do you mean Willie?"

"Well when they start here I don't think any of them first graders hate anything. By the time those six graders leave here, they seem to hate everything. I don't think we're teaching them to hate though, well maybe a little by how the adults treat each other."

"I'd never stopped to think about it that way Willie. Where were the kids when the explosion occurred?"

"The gym teacher makes them go to the playground after the second lunch bell. Did I tell you that she and that Belinda teacher sneak off on Thursdays? We had some sensitivity training about them kind Ms. Kane. You know that L B T A, no wait it's L C G T. That doesn't sound right. Whatever. They told us we can't say things like rug munchers around them. I hope I don't get in trouble for saying that Ms. Kane. Your cameraman thinks that's pretty funny."

"I'll deal with him later Willie. Did the workers get away without getting injured?"

"Well yes and no Ms. Kane. The explosion didn't get them but it scared the shhh, I mean poop out of them. I went to help them but they were kind of embarrassed about it and when they tried to get away they bumped heads really hard. Nobody wanted to help them because of the smell. Have you ever stepped in doggie doo Ms. Kane?"

"Willie, our anchorman, Kurt Hughes, has a few questions for you."

"No problem Ms. Kane. He's lucky to work with a looker like you. You're much prettier than that lady on the morning show."

"You are very kind Willie. Kurt?"

"Willie, this is Kurt Hughes. You seem to have your finger on the pulse of what's going on at the school. We now know about Monday and Thursday. Is there anything you can tell us about the other days of the week?"

"Sure thing Kurt. You know you look like that linebacker that we traded away last year. Are you related to him? I wasn't sad to see him go. He missed that tackle that cost us the game."

"No, I'm not related to him Willie. The other days?"

"Oh yeah, well on Tuesday that bitchy, oh wait can I say that? That librarian with the sour attitude goes out to Mr. Spencer's SUV. Think of a mailing tube with a sports bra on. She don't stay long but he's certainly smiling when he gets out of the SUV. It's that green one over there parked off in the corner. You're smiling Ms. Kane. Did I say something funny?"

"No Willie, you did fine. Any other days with excitement?"

"Well on Wednesday, hey look, that's that Belinda teacher walking towards us. Her car is the red one over there. Looks like a guy is waiting for her. My sister had a car like that but the air conditioning kept acting up. She tried to sell it on her own but finally traded it in."

"Belinda! Belinda! Any comment?"

"No comment!"

"Belinda Matthews?"

"Leave me alone."

"You have been served."

"Oh gawd no! Get away from me."

"Whether you take this envelope or not Mrs. Matthews, you have been served."

The live audience saw Belinda snatch the envelope and speed off. The small picture in picture still showed the fire and police standing around.

"Willie, you were starting to tell us about Wednesday."

"Oh yeah, that was kind of exciting wasn't it. He called her Mrs. I guess she is married. I've never been married Ms. Kane. I'm really shy around women. Are you married?"

"I'm still single Willie, now focus. Kurt asked you a question."

"Oh yeah, well those science teachers that sneak off to the furnace room after school on Wednesday, I know they're married. I never did like science. Looks like they might have to use the other furnace room this week. Did you have to take science to become a reporter Ms. Kane?"

"Yes I did Willie. Which science teachers are you talking about Willie?"

"That new lady with the red hair and Mr. Munoz. He started here about ten years after I did. He was the first Latino teacher here. We had more sensitivity training about race and religion. I don't think it has worked because they still put all the minority teacher's classrooms in the same wing. See that man in the yellow polo shirt? That's Jon Nichols. He's black like you, but you probably figured that out pretty quick. He's one of the few that actually talk to me."

"Why don't the others talk to you Willie?"

"Well everyone needs someone they can be better than Ms. Kane. If I can be that person for the rest of them then maybe they'll treat someone else nice. That's why I can't give you names of some of them folks. I've never actually been introduced. Did you get something in your eye Ms. Kane?"

"I must have Willie. You were going to tell us something about Jon."

"Oh yeah, well the rest may tolerate him but they don't treat him the same. That's too bad because he's a really nice guy. Matter of fact I can say I'd be proud to be a friend with any of the black people I've met."

"You're a good man Willie. We need more people like you. If you spot that red headed teacher will you let us know?"

"Thank you Ms. Kane. My mother wanted me to be a good Licker. I tell you that cameraman is pretty easy to amuse."

"Yes he is Willie. I'll deal with him later. The red head Willie?"

"She's over there next to Rosie, the lady with the checkered blouse. That Rosie is very popular on Fridays. Hers are bigger than yours Ms. Kane. That's not to say yours aren't nice. Trust me on that Ms. Kane. It's all I can do to not stare."

"You're a true gentleman Willie. Now stay focused. Tell us about Fridays."

"I overheard Rosie say that that man with the dark black hair, Dante, has a nice big package. I've never seen him carrying a package though, but the other ladies seemed very captivated when she said it. Uh oh, headlight alert. Ms. Kane you're making it really difficult to not sneak peaks at you. I'm sorry, did I embarrass you? You didn't turn red but your cheeks are sure puffed up. Learn something new every day. Your cameraman laughs at lots of things Ms. Kane."

"Yes he does. I'll deal with him later. Stay on subject Willie. Fridays?"

"Where do I start? It's like a drag race getting down to the No Tell Motel. I don't know whether they draw names out of a hat but it seems like it's never the same two together. I once dated two sisters. Not at the same time you know. But a year after I broke up with Cecile, I went out with her sister Carmen. Do you have a sister Ms. Kane?"

"Yes I do Willie. Can you identify any of those drag racers?"

"I bet your sister wishes she looked as good as you do. Did you ever date a"

"WILLIE, focus! Can you identify the drag racers?"

"Yep, but figuring out who went with who would be tough. You can probably look at the surveillance video from the No Tell Motel. I installed it for them a couple of years ago. They brought me burgers and fries from Jim's Burgers while I was doing it. I had to walk over and get more catsup packets. I'm not eating those fries without catsup anymore. You know they have another Jim's Burger place by the stadium but the fries cost twenty cents more."

"Kandi, Kurt here. As much as I hate to break away from this, we're going to cut over as Fire Chief Reynolds is about to make a statement. Merry Christmas Willie. You've been a joy to have on today."

"Thank you Kurt. Merry Christmas to you and your family too."

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The cameraman stepped back from the tripod. Kandi spoke first "Willie, wait. Can I have a moment with you?"

"Sure thing Ms. Kane."

"Willie, you don't have to answer if you don't want to. Except for Jon, none of those people you mentioned today have ever introduced themselves, have they?"

"You're very observant Ms. Kane."

"And if I had taken the time to do my job properly, would you have embarrassed me?"

"Reckon we'll never know that answer Ms. Kane. Who knew you liked big packages."

"WILLIE! Enough of that! Can a girl get a second chance?"

"Yes ma'am. You sure you don't just want to treat someone else nice?"

"Willie, please, let me see if I've learned my lesson."

Taking a deep breath "Sir, excuse me sir. You look like you might work here?"

"Yes ma'am, forty plus years."

"Great. My name is Kandi Kane and this is Jim Stiles, my cameraman. We work for Channel 4 news and I was wondering if you would mind telling our audience what happened here today?"

"I would love to help you out Ms. Kandi. Can I call you that or would you prefer Ms. Kane?"

"Whichever makes you happiest Willie. How about you, do you prefer Willie or Mr. Licker?"

"Willie."

"Jim, this is Willie. Willie, that's Jim. Are we ready to get started?"

After a slight pause "How was that Willie?"

"Ms. Kandi, you made me feel like a person instead of a stepping stone to be used for your benefit."

"And I'd like to apologize for my previous indiscretion. I'd toss in a Christmas hug if that would help."

"Ms. Kandi, you know I could never turn down a hug from the most beautiful woman I've ever met."

Kandi buried her head in Willie's chest and squeezed him hard. After about thirty seconds she looked up and gave him a peck on his cheek.

"Apology accepted Ms. Kandi. Your hair smells good too. You have a very Merry Christmas."

"I will Willie. You've made my holiday season special. Take care. Maybe our paths will cross again. Merry Christmas."

The cameraman introduced himself then exchanged man hugs with Willie.

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Epilogue:

No one was injured in the explosion. Willie received several hundred cards, letters, and presents through the Christmas break. Many were from people across the country. The school remained closed until after New Year. They used individual heaters in each classroom when classes resumed.

The day after the explosion, on his way to his truck to buy lunch, Willie was met by an older black woman with gray hair. He could tell she was a looker in her day. She was carrying a large sack from Jim's Burgers. She also brought a blanket and a large squeeze bottle of catsup. It was a nice enough day so they sat in the park across the street from the school and had lunch together. She introduced herself as Dorothy. They've been sharing lunch every day since then.

Willie learned Dorothy was widowed and a retired bookkeeper. On Thursday she also brought a little brown paper bag with a can of whipped cream and a note with her address. After whispering in Willie's ear it took fifteen minutes before his north pole went south. After that he asked for the rest of the day off and spent the afternoon and evening with Dorothy. He'd never dreamed about using whipped cream that way. His truck has been seen leaving from Dorothy's driveway every morning.

When Dorothy hosted Christmas brunch, Willie was more than a little bit surprised when Ms. Kandi showed up. Dorothy was her grandmother. Kane was her real last name. Kandi's gift to Willie was a pair of red and green long stockings. Willie wears them to bring back fond memories of her hugs.

Willie spent Christmas day doing what he did best, observing quietly. The kiss and hug from Kandi, when she left, was as wonderful as any he had ever experienced.

Dorothy admonished her "Back off Kandi, that's my man."