I was always looking out for everyone and I helped so many and then I couldn't help myself. I was in a bad marriage to a white man. He was treating me like last week's trash and I guess I wanted to know what I was doing wrong so I would ask my friends for their opinions and everyone said it wasn't me. It was my husband that was dragging me down.
I love to have contact with everyone. That means that I am a touchy-feely kind of person and enjoyed contact, even if it just meant to touch your hand, or stroke your face. Maybe give you a big hug or a kiss on the cheek.
My ex-husband didn't like to have open signs of affection. For example if we were at the mall and he bought me a gift out of the blue, I would hug and kiss him right then and there and he would tell me that it wasn't the right place. My God, it was just a hug and kiss; it wasn't like we were fucking in the middle of the mall or I was sucking him off or anything. That turned me off.
We started growing apart and I noticed that he would be going out more often and finding hobbies that didn't include me. I was the party person and I would go out with the girls every payday which was every two weeks for a couple of drinks and dinner. He was frequenting a local strip club with some of his male co-workers and I found out much later on that one of the girls worked with the guys and she was nothing but a whore.
My ex seem to eat it up because she always gravitated towards him and he going for a lap dance and they went $25 a pop. He drank a lot and once in a while would still light up joint to just release his stress. My stress release was cooking and having some wine while I cleaned the house.
It was getting to the point that he was going out 3 nights a week and sometimes he would take off the next day from work to regroup. It angered me and I told him that he should ease up a bit and the first time I told him that, he slapped me across the face and told me to shut the fuck up. I was shocked and I thought it was all the liquor he had consumed but when I brought it up a few days later after he sobered up, he told me that I wasn't being nice I should try being exciting and learn how to give him a lap dance.
He got worse and started to complain on my cooking and how his laundry was done and also how I go out too often. Twice a month?? That's a lot?? NOT He was going out a dozen or more times a month and I mentioned that and again I took a slap to the face and I told him to never to that again because he was hurting me and he said "You haven't felt any pain yet. Wait until you fuck up the next time, you'll see what it's all about." I told him to stop the bullshit and he told me that I didn't turn him on anymore.
He left the house and after he did, I packed myself a suitcase and I left for a hotel. I left him a note saying I am not going to take his shit anymore and that I wasn't coming home. He got home and found the note and called my cell about 4 o'clock in the morning and told me to get my ass home to make him breakfast. I told him to ask one of his "chickies" to make him something. He slammed the phone down and I cried myself to sleep.
I finally got brave enough to go to the lawyer and have him draw up divorce papers. My best friend has been telling me for several years to leave his sorry white ass and I could do better than him. I can't tell you the last time we made love; what a joke. He didn't like blow jobs and it always had to be when he was in the mood.