I was always looking out for everyone and I helped so many and then I couldn't help myself. I was in a bad marriage to a white man. He was treating me like last week's trash and I guess I wanted to know what I was doing wrong so I would ask my friends for their opinions and everyone said it wasn't me. It was my husband that was dragging me down.
I love to have contact with everyone. That means that I am a touchy-feely kind of person and enjoyed contact, even if it just meant to touch your hand, or stroke your face. Maybe give you a big hug or a kiss on the cheek.
My ex-husband didn't like to have open signs of affection. For example if we were at the mall and he bought me a gift out of the blue, I would hug and kiss him right then and there and he would tell me that it wasn't the right place. My God, it was just a hug and kiss; it wasn't like we were fucking in the middle of the mall or I was sucking him off or anything. That turned me off.
We started growing apart and I noticed that he would be going out more often and finding hobbies that didn't include me. I was the party person and I would go out with the girls every payday which was every two weeks for a couple of drinks and dinner. He was frequenting a local strip club with some of his male co-workers and I found out much later on that one of the girls worked with the guys and she was nothing but a whore.
My ex seem to eat it up because she always gravitated towards him and he going for a lap dance and they went $25 a pop. He drank a lot and once in a while would still light up joint to just release his stress. My stress release was cooking and having some wine while I cleaned the house.
It was getting to the point that he was going out 3 nights a week and sometimes he would take off the next day from work to regroup. It angered me and I told him that he should ease up a bit and the first time I told him that, he slapped me across the face and told me to shut the fuck up. I was shocked and I thought it was all the liquor he had consumed but when I brought it up a few days later after he sobered up, he told me that I wasn't being nice I should try being exciting and learn how to give him a lap dance.