Slowly, I walked away from my beautiful blonde wife and the rest of this all-white group of condo owners. My intense nervousness had been camouflagued for the time being.
Now, I found myself trying to make my way around the large, nearly Olympic-sized pool without showing the fear I felt inside. My red-faced embarrassment and cold humiliation increased as I drew nearer to the young black stud and his blonde companion.
This feeling peaked and my intimidation grew when I finally reached the unwanted destination before him. I stood there and cordially extended my arm in an attempt to hand him the champagne.
He did not accept the glass right away. As a matter of fact, the black man did not even look up to me at this time. This arrogant delay sent my nervousness to another level, and caused me to ramble.
"Um, It's r-really good champagne, isn't it?" I asked, trying to start a conversation.
"I-I'm R-Richard and, well, my uh wife Julie and I h-have been here for only a c-couple of months." I stuttered.
"S-she thought, well, um, maybe you and your friend w-would like to join us, or something." I whimpered.
I looked at the beautiful, blonde woman on her knees off to my right, then back to him.
"If y-you would l-like to, I mean." I stammered.
"It's up to y-you, of course." I muttered.
"I-I-I don't mean to pry or anything." I cowered.
I realized only then that I had been holding this glass of champagne for more than a minute. The young, black and studly man simply sat there in silence. Casually, he glanced up. He gazed upward as if he was merely observing the ever so blatant fear and intimidation of the tall white wimp standing before him.
Initially, he did not answer. He merely observed.
That is when the black man mercifully accepted the glass of champagne. Nonchalantly, he grabbed the glass from my weak grip and sipped it once, then a second time, looking back up to me again through those dark shades.
The long pause was nerve-wrenching as I glanced down to my right to avoid his powerful stare. I noticed the beautful blonde woman in her 30's, once again. She remained on her knees, diligently massaging the feet of this black stud.
It appeared that she did not have the strength to bring her head up. She never dared to look at anyone except him. Humbly, my passive eyes returned to his.
Although I could not see his eyes, I could easily feel him peering up towards me through with a curiosity that made me uneasy. His dark sunglasses hid the stern and dominating glare he was transmitting.
It felt like he was making me cower there before him for an extended period of time, on purpose. It had to be at least another minute. That is when he took another sip of his champagne, then swallowed the remainder of it with one last gulp. He disgarded the glass as he handed it back to me in an arrogant manner. Finally, he spoke.
"Tra'mon, and no!" He simply stated, his masculine voice ringing in my ears.
Worriedly, I stood before him holding onto the empty used glass. He repositioned himself in the chaise lounge beach chair and put his head back to catch the warm sun, his arms propped behind his shaven head. The obedient white woman companion stayed kneeling at his feet.
Now, he was completely and rudely ignoring me. It sent a chill of defeat through my entire body as he paid no attention to me for the moment. Flustered, I remained standing and began to tremble. I had no idea what to do next.
Confused, I continued in this position for what seemed like forever.
The amount of time I stood there was undetermined, yet I am quite sure that is was more than than at least 3 or 4 minutes. I found it impossible to speak up at this point as the young, black stud ignored my existence. Perspiration began to trickle down my forehead, and to the sides of my face. I wondered why I felt compelled to just stand there.
Perhaps, in the back of my mind, I was attempting to give a false perception to the group on the other side of the pool. Maybe, I was giving them the perception that we were actually having a conversation. I just knew they would be asking questions later.
Finally, I conjured just enough strength to move my legs. I was embarrassed as I turned and started walking away from him. It felt like he didn't want to be "bothered" with me anymore. It was more than insulting and disrespectful to be ignored in this manner, and with such rude mannerisms. But, I wasn't about to admit that to my wife or the other 12 white couples.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I suppose that I was relieved by the fact this young, black stud didn't want another glass of champagne. That, alone, would have been too embarrassing for me to overcome. I knew that I wouldn't have the courage to say "no" to him.
When I eventually returned to the group, I was greeted with a series of questions and inquiries. As expected, they wanted to know everything about who he was and what he said. Once again, I lied to save face.
"Well? Who is he?" Tammy asked.
"What did he say?" Karen asked.
"You did invite them over, right? my wife, Julie, questioned.
My humiliation ran deep, yet I was desperate to make sure my wife and the others didn't suspect anything unusual. I didn't want them to know that this black stud dressed in that "horrifying" little bikini had been so rude to me, and had simply ordered me to "fetch" him another glass of champagne.
"Well?" Karen probed.
"Um, well his name is Tra'mon." I answered.
"Tra'mon?" Clarissa repeated.
"What did he say?" Julie continued.
"H-He just said thank you for the invitation, but he wanted to spend some alone time this weekend." I explained, lying between my chattering teeth.
"Oh?!" Karen exclaimed, softly.
"It didn't look like he was very talkative from here." Julie observed.
"Yeah. Didn't look like he was saying much at all." one of the other white husbands added.
I remember wishing that David wouldn't have added his opinion to that piece of comentary. It only put me more "on the spot," and in the most exaggerated way. My feeble mind continued trying to conjur up some type of story as the others looked to me for the answers to their questions.
"no, no. Um, he did talk." I said.
"H-He just doesn't want to join us now. I mean, well, he said that he um would come over when he was ready to meet us." I fibbed.
The entire group of white husbands and wives peered at me with just a faint touch of disbelief in their eyes.
"Oh, he said that?" Megan asked, suddenly.
"Uh, yeah. Yes." I answered.
"Well, okay then I guess." Julie said.
"Maybe he'll have lunch or dinner with us later." she pondered.
"Yeah, maybe. I don't know." I replied.
"You should go and ask him, Richard." Tammy interrupted.
"Listen. Let's just leave him to be for know, okay?" I returned, desperately.
"I'm sure he will come over when he is good and ready." I advised her and the others.
"Yeah, he really doesn't look like he wants to be bothered now." Tim added, nervously.
The white group looked back towards the black stud with his white woman kneeling at his feet. She had been massaging his bare feet for more than an hour by now, and this was nearly inconceivable to me at the moment.
Still, the afternoon continued on.
For the next few hours after the initial "entrance" of Tra'mon, our entire group of white wives and husbands tried continuing the day. Many, if not all of us, seemed restless. The wives cleared the breakfast plates and mingled around the pool area, and in and out of our condo apartments. Occasionally, they would bring things back, like drinks and snacks of sliced mango, or diced pineapple.
All of us just sat around and talked in smaller, seperate groups for awhile. Then, together. At one point, these little discussion groups had unintentionally broken up into where it was just us white men. We stood around near the cooler while our white wives mingled around the table and chairs 20 feet away.
The mood was definitely different with the presence of this young, black stud. There was a tension in the air that was hard to explain, and a noticeable deflation of our energy.
From my point of view in the group of all white men in their 30's and 40's, I could see every one of our beautiful white wives "glancing" back across the pool towards the black man. The frequency of their "looks" and "stares" towards him seem to increase. Often, their eyes lingered. It was uncomfortable for me to observe.
The white husbands were almost huddled together around the cooler, haphazardly drinking champagne and attempting to avoid the subject of this new black resident. The white wives were gathered in their own little half circle and having their own discussions.
We could not hear what they were saying, and I'm sure the other husbands didn't notice the longer and more pronounced "stares" their wives were giving the black man. Many of them had their backs to the women, facing me.
Obviously, I was hearing what all the other husbands were saying as they began to increase their intake of mimosa and champagne.
"Geezuz, will you look at that guy?!" Dave suddenly remarked.
"Yeah, I know." Mark added, meekly.
There was a pause within the group as the others looked back at him for a moment.
"I wonder what his story is." Tim pondered.
"I don't know, but I'm not gonna ask him." Bob stated.
"Me, neither." Ralph said, chimming in.
"Yeah." David added, softly.
"I guess that's his girlfriend?" Tim questioned, with a humble tone of voice.
"I guess." Bob answered.