This surreal day of shopping continued. Up to this point in my life, it would turn out to be one of the most humiliating days in public for me. It was unlike anything I could have expected, or could have imagined happening to me.
As young Alexis Barron continued her day of selfish shopping at Oaktown Mall, my feelings of humiliation continued to grow. These feelings seemed to grow with each and every passing moment of the day. I wondered if the 18-year-old black woman really knew just how truly defeated I felt as I was toting her things around, and following behind her like some sort of servant.
Alexis Barron began entering the stores and small specialty shops with greater frequency. In each case, she would make me hold the door open for her as we entered. Then, once again when we departed. For the next 2 and a half hours, we entered 15 of the shops and stores of this upscale outdoor mall. In each and every shop that we entered Alexis would chose only one item, which ranged from shoes, blouses, lingerie and stockings to sexier business attire. She also entered a bath and body shop to purchase a few other more personal grooming items.
By mid afternoon, I was beginning to feel overwhelmed by carrying her purse and the now 16 bags from her little shopping spree. The arrogant manner in which this teenaged black woman strolled and strutted around the snobby Oaktown Mall was truly humbling to me. She acted as if she owned the place and I was there merely to cater to her needs.
During this time, Alexis remained quiet and hardly spoke to me at all. Her attitude seemed to grow more bold and cocky with every purchase she required me to make for her. She exuded such confidence and authority for a woman so young, and for one of such small stature. It was this unreal confidence she possessed that was making me feel weaker and weaker all the time. She humbled me and seemed to be drawing me further into her unimagineable inner strength and power.
Young Alexis was truly uncaring and absolutely unconcerned about me and my feelings of degradation. She seemed to gain more strength and boldness with every step she took. In turn, I continued to become weaker. It was almost as if my pitiful existence didn't matter to her in the least. To the 18-year-old black woman, I was merely this older and much taller white woman "lackey" who was there to merely open doors for her, carry her things and then pay for whatever she desired to possess. I was so deeply humiliated and intimidated by her, and becoming nearly humiliated to the point of tears.
The length of time Alexis was spending at Oaktown Mall had me on edge. I was almost sure that many of the older white women present at Oaktown Mall on this day had seen me shopping there in the past. I began to grow more conscious of their confused looks of despair and all those discreet, yet obvious stares as I wlaked behind Alexis. They seemed to be looks of confusion and embarrassment for me. The appearance of how she was treating me had to be thoroughly degrading for them to witness in such a public forum.
It seemed as if the multitude of rich, older white suburban housewives of wealthy husbands who casually strolled about this outdoor mall had never seen anything that resembling this before. Many of them even stopped and stared in disbelief, seemingly amazed by the sight of a much older white woman carrying a plethora of bags as a young black woman walked ahead of her, hands free, and with such slow, bold and arrogant strides.
The young black woman was walking slower and slower all the time, seemingly to draw more attention to herself. Her petite ass cheeks in those bronze-colored spandex leggings were "jutting" out so profusely and arrogantly as she walked. Her exaggerated short strides and swinging hips were equally as arrogant. She made me change my much longer strides so often by stopping and going, and then stopping again. Her attitude was one that was saying to the world "look at my perfection and the control I have over this dumb white bitch."
It was at that time when the petite black woman noticed a large water fountain set before her, no more than 50 feet away. It was a fountain embedded into the middle of a larger concrete circle.
"That looks nice." she commented, as she began to stroll towards it.
This fountain was level to the concrete pavement we had been walking upon all day and had several metal drains to exit the excess water. In the center was a greek-styled stone sculpture of greek woman. The statue of a goddess was centered perfectly. It was there for appearance but also for shoppers to cool themselves off in, if they so desired.
I had seen this fountain so many times before, but I had never seen anyone actually use it for it's intended purpose. It was a piece of art and the general snobby crowd that shopped at Oaktown always seemed far too aristocratic to use it.
But, young Alexis headed right towards it.
She bent over to remove the gold and bronze leather sandals from her size 5 feet and then simply handed them to me. I had to grab them with only two of my fingers since I held our purses and so many other bags. I watched as she slowly entered the wet concrete circle of this meticulously decorated stone water fountain. I marveled at her boldness.
Out of the corner of my eyes I could feel several sets of eyes upon her, and then upon me. The uppity white women wondering how this arrogant young black girl could be so unbridled and arrogant to do such a thing in such a place like Oaktown. Yet, Alexis Barron could care less. She cooled off her bare feet in the waters of this fountain for more than 5 minutes before she finally turned back to me and spoke. I stood there, in anguish, waiting for the next command.
"Alright. Let's go." she ordered.
Unbelievably, the 18-year-old black woman ignored her sandals and walked right past me. She began walking towards another row of small shops in that section of the mall. She was now walking barefoot and didn't seem to bothered by the warm brick walk way beneath her feet. I simply scurried behind her, still carrying everything. She also didn't seem bothered by the manner in which her perfectly-shaped size 5 bare feet were getting dirtier with every step she took.
Boldly, Alexis approached a high-end cosmetics store and waited for me to catch up to her. Her arms were crossed for a moment. Once again, I frantically scurried to get ahead of her to hold the heavier glass and metal door open so she could enter. I struggled to do so with all the items I carried as she finally entered the classy shop in the slowest manner humanly possible. Astonishingly, she entered this store in her now filthy dirty bare feet.
I suppose that I was more than amazed by the black teenaged woman entering a shop of this caliber with no shoes on. It had always been forbidden to enter any store barefoot, especially one in such an upscale mall like Oaktown. Yet, young Alexis did so without regret or any concern whatsoever. She strolled in so boldly and arrogantly. I was convinced that the 4 white store clerks would mention something to her. Surely, they would ask her to either leave the store or put her shoes back on.
Surprisingly, they did not.
For a moment, I thought that maybe they didn't notice she wasn't wearing any shoes. Then, I relaized that it had to be so obvious to them since I was the one carrying her gold, flat leather sandals in plain view for all to see. I wondered if, perhaps, they felt just as intimidated by her as I was feeling at the time. Alexis Barron had that effect on white women. They always seemed intimidated by the youthful beauty and unimagineable confidence of this younger black woman. Still, it was all very surreal to me.
Alexis Barron lingered in this upscale cosmetics shop for an interminable amount of time. She must've walked up and down the small aisles and around the entire mid-sized store more than 20 times. Again, she was walking in slow motion, touching and smelling many of the lipsticks and other items while I followed behind, struggling with the bags. After more than 30 minutes, she finally made a purchase and handed me yet another bag. She never said one word and walked out of that store in an even slower and more arrogant manner as I held the door open for her. The 4 white older women store clerks and 3 other shoppers watched in silent amazement.
Alexis entered two more stores in this smaller row of shops. Both were next to the cosmetics store she had spent so much time at. She made small purchases in them as well. I was feeling more and more overwhelmed by carrying all these bags. They were not very heavy but the sheer number of bags had grown into a noticeable clutter as I carried them. They were becoming more difficult to manage. I felt even more defeated by the thought that she had spent nearly $3,300.00 so far this day. When she seemed satisfied by her purchases, Alexis simply began walking away from this particular corner of the mall as I continued following behind in humiliation.
