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"Shh. Shh. You gotta be quite. If Daddy comes home and finds you like this, he'll get me," Hallee warned her three year old son, Santana.
It was their routine. She would warn him, he wouldn't listen, and she would pay the price. She began to cry at her son's defiance. Was he secretly plotting against her? Did he do this purposely? Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the front door open and slam shut.
"Hallee! How many fucking times do we have to go through this? Are you retarded?" he screamed once he entered Santana's bedroom.
"I'm so sorry Jeremy. I think he's sick or something. I was going to take him by his doctor's but you had the car and I didn't want to call you while you were at work. I know how much you hate that," she tried to reason.
She tried her best, but the weak attempt didn't pay off.
"Put him down," he commanded.
Hallee did as she was told, and she immediately threw her hands up to protect her face, and flinched. She did her best to shield herself from the series of blows she knew were coming. She had almost become immune to the beatings. Almost. He would beat her until she was trance-like. If she tried to hold it in, he would yell at her about trying to act tough and beat her even more. If she cried, he'd beat her harder and tell her to shut up.
"Stupid bitch! I told you, didn't I? Didn't I tell you? Answer me, Goddamnit!"
"Yes! You told me! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" she cried out.
"Shut up! I told you to keep him quiet, didn't I? I can hear him screaming all the way outside. You're the worst mother ever. I ask you to do one thing. One simple thing. Take care of the kid and the house, and you can't do that? CLEAN THIS SHIT UP!" he yelled before tossing her onto the floor.
Hallee lied on the floor crying until she heard the front door slam shut. This was only round one. This was part of the routine. He would leave after beating her to get together with his friends and colleagues. He would come back home either angry, drunk, or horny. Sometimes all of them. She didn't know which was worse. Neither turned out too pleasant for her. She would be left either used or abused. Most of the time both. Hallee got up and cleaned up her face. She was used to fixing bags of ice to soothe the swellings to the parts of her that grew victim to that man. At least he never hit their son. Better her than him.
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Hallee was double checking everything. She wanted to make sure everything was perfect to avoid another brutal beating.
Maybe he's in a god mood today
, she thought. She was about to sit down and take a break when the phone rung.
Sabrina
.
Sabrina was Hallee's best and only friend. They had been friends since high school. They were like sisters. Sisters who were nothing alike.
"Hello?"
"Hey Hal. What you up to?"
"The usual."
"Oh." Pregnant pause. "Well. If you aren't too busy tonight, maybe we can hang out. There's this little joint downtown I wanna take you to. My friend's performing."
"I don't know, Sabrina. I have stuff to do" she said looking around her spotless house.
"Like what? Slave all day in a house and try your damnest to please a man who's only gonna overlook every good thing you do to point out the negatives? And then beat you senseless? I don't know how and why you do it. You're too young for that shit. Twenty-one and stuck at home playing house in a loveless relationship."
"I do love him."
"Does he love you?"
Silence.
"Exactly. Have your mom pick up Santana and I'll swing by and pick you up around 7. Okay?"
"I don't know..."
"Hal!"
"I'll have to ask Jeremy. He hates it when I make plans and not inform him about them."
"Right. Ask Massa' Jeremy to sign your permission slip. Is he gonna give you lunch money, too?"
"Sabrina. I really don't feel like listening to you rant and bad mouth my and Jeremy's relationship."
"And I didn't call to do that. I called to ask my best friend in the whole wide world to go out with me. Live a little. Come on. We won't be out too late," Sabrina reasoned.
"Okay," Hallee said defeated.
"Alright Babe. I love you."
"You too."
Hallee hung up. She had already cleaned the house and Santana was sound asleep in his room. Oh he's quiet now.
If only he would stay like that when I need him to.
Hallee picked up her phone and dialed her mother. Her mother was oblivious to the fact that her baby girl was a victim to abuse. That was because she rarely saw her mother. Jeremy always liked it better that way.
"Hey Mama."