As It Seems

Thanks Farechilde for all the work you put into me and my story, it really made a difference.

*

It was getting harder and harder for Conner to determine what was part of the game and what was reality. He leaned against the rail of the apartment steps as a musky smoke seemed to dance around him like a stripper giving a lap dance, slowly altering his mind and affecting his concentration. He tried to focus on the meaningless conversation his friends were having…the kind of conversation usually brought on by smoking mota. He closed his eyes, sighing deeply. How much longer could he listen to this scrotebag brag: if it wasn't about all the girls he fucked it was about the other scrotebags he'd "wasted". Conner didn't think that the words

fucked

and

wasted

meant the same to D.J as they did to the rest of them. The only reason he hung with this crew was for the extra scratch. He needed it.

"Man, shut the fuck up." Conner spat slowly, "You know that shit didn't happen."

Conner laughed at the expression on D.J's face. Beside him Mackey puffed, studying the angry glow of the joint.

"Shut the fuck up white boy." D.J sulked

"You want to come over here and make me?" Conner's voice was low and dangerous; he opened his eyes to slits just in case D.J grew enough balls to attack.

"Man, fuck you mother fuckers. Y'all think I'm scared?"

"Mother fucker,

sit

your sorry ass down before this white boy tears you up," Mackey said passing to Conner, who shook his head.

"Nah man, I see my P.O. tomorrow. I can't risk having that shit in my system" Mackey nodded and passed to D.J. "Here, put this in your mouth and shut the fuck up." As always D.J did as he was told, mumbling under his breath.

"So what's been up with you C?"

"Nothing, just looking for some extra income. Gas is a bitch"

"Melendez is looking for you, said the work you did was good 'fore you went in the joint."

"Cool. Figured he'd get mad that I was caught and shit." Conner shrugged, pushing his hands into his pockets. He shuffled his feet and glared out into the horizon, his jaw clenched.

"Nah man, it's cool, wasn't yo' fault. We got some faulty information, but that shit ain't happening no'mo."

"Cool man, Jerome hired me back at his shop so I can get some legit paper."

"Yeah man Jerome's cool. He always ready to help a brotha'. He don't do all that preachin' either. He says his piece and let a man g'on 'bout his. He try an' get you to church yet?"

"Everyday, says I need a nice Christian girl to set me straight."

"Man, them Christian girls freakin' ho's. I'm serious for real man, I had this one-"

"Hey man, didn't I just tell you to sit your monkey ass down? You know you ain't hit nothing but yo' fist." Mackey yelled, making Conner burst out laughing.

"What about your parole?"

He shrugged again gaining some of his composure, "If I get caught it's me, and if I get sent back I don't have to pay for this fucking gas"

"How much gas do you need, mother fucker? You ride a motorbike." D.J dropped his two cents yet again, his face still flaming from Mackey's dis.

"Don't matter what I drive I still gotta pay for that shit,"

"I hear ya man, that shit is ridiculous, I'll see what I can do to get you some extra spending money," Mackey laughed. He was one of those dudes who always laughed. He had the darkest brown skin, smooth as melted chocolate, and a goatee trimmed tight as an afro. His teeth were stark white against the darkness of his complexion.

"Don't give this asshole nothing" D.J stepped up in front of Conner's face, the sweet muskiness of the smoke turned sour. Conner smirked, his body subtly preparing for a fight.

D.J. on the other hand was a short squeaky motherfucker with pockmarks on his yellow-brown skin, the kind of color piss turns after too many beers. The only reason he was a part of this was because he was a Melendez by birth. They didn't trust him to do big jobs. He had a tendency to smoke too much and talk too much. So Mackey played babysitter, and supervisor.

"If you were looking for fight you should have said so," he said easily. D.J wasn't the type to fight against a solid object, and by the way Conner was standing tall he might as well have been a wall. He would back down, but Conner knew it was possible D.J would shoot him in the back once he turned around.

Mackey decided to stay out the staring match and let the white boy kick D.J's ass. Maybe a wooping would make D.J settle down.

"What I'm looking at is you getting your white ass out my face." He pushed Conner, making sure every syllable was in proper correct English to insult him.

"Watch it, I might think you have crush on me" Conner smiled pushing back.

"What the fuck's yo' problem man, leave this dude alone. Wait…he's right isn't he? You do get hard for him," Mackey winked at Conner, "you want a taste of that white chocolate dick."

"I ain't no faggot."

"You sure? I mean ain't no shame, I mean if I was gay and into white boys…. just admit it, oh and stop getting the fucking tip wet."

"It wasn't me."

"We is the only two mothafuckas smoking this splif,"

"I Ain't got cooties," he mumbled.

"That shit is nasty; I don't know the last pussy you ate."

Conner was trying to stay cool, trying not to laugh at how easy it was to manipulate D.J, now he wasn't itching to get his ass handed to him.

"I don't eat pussy, that's for those white mother fuckers, I'll get them ho's to suck my dick," he grabbed his crotch.

Conner rolled his eyes, he wasn't going to keep getting into it with D.J. He had a job to do.

"Speaking of eating pussy, goddamn there's some I'd shove my face in, and I ain't into that shit" Mackey said nodding toward a girl walking down the street. All eyes directed their way to her. Her hair held out of her face by a plastic headband. Her head as she laughed at a message on her iphone. She didn't even notice the possibility of trouble as the three men devoured her with their dark gazes

"I won't even eat that. I'd let that bitch suck my dick for real though."

Connor and Mackey snorted in disbelief but refusing to let D.J. break the magic of the moment.

Alexa walked down the street reading the text message from her lunch date.

Where the hell r u? I'm fucking starving

Ur always starving. Doesn't ur wife feed you

If u saw what she tried to feed me ud prbbly loose ur appetite, hurry up!

"Hey there shorty." She almost choked on the overwhelming stench of smoke, she planned to keep walking. Until a hand reached out and grabbed her.

She took a few deep breaths. What gave people permission to touch her, she wondered as she got ready to lay into the jack ass with the grubby fingers.

"Didn't you hear me talking to you?"

"Oh, is that how you approach a woman?" She asked, acid dripping in the sweetness of her voice. She snatched her arm away, fighting the urge to rub away the soreness "does that work for you?"

Alexa glared at the boy, her eyes changing from a warm honey hazel to the frostiest green. He had become her prey. "Whatever happened to, 'you know you're a pretty lady can I take you out?' Does that hip hop shit work outside of desperate club women who have no class and no self-worth, thinking they are lucky that some jackass like you-" She waved her hand down his body, exemplifying his sagging jeans and exposed boxers, "-is hittin' on 'em?"

She cocked her head to the side, pretending to listen for his answer. She heard the stifled chuckles of the two men around him. She'd seen them around before, always hanging out smoking out with nothing better to do. The one sitting on the steps was alright. He usually just sat there and spoke to her in polite passing. And the other was the white boy who always glared at her. She always wanted to smack that patronizing look off his face. And there was the other fool, the one with the attitude who had grabbed at her. She should have let it go and she probably would have, but he had touched her. He deserved whatever lashing she gave him.

He was lucky, most guys she'd just lay them out like her daddy taught her. They thought because she was a fairly small woman they could treat her any kind of way. That crap had to be stopped early or she would be fighting it forever.

"Who the fuck are you talking to you fucking sciezer bitch?" The fool was getting in her face and she felt the blood rush, her hand became cold with the tingling itch to Polly-whop the jerkass.

"I'm talking to you! You obviously need help learning how to pick a real woman, and my first bit of advice is to ask permission before you touch her."

D.J stepped up, ready to strike

"Dude I ain't fixin' ta let you beat down no woman," Mackey said. He still hadn't moved but he was glaring at D.J. Conner moved, itching for a reason to whoop the shit out of D.J., and hitting a girl the best reason to do it.

"You ain't that fine no way; I got plenty of women wanting a piece of this magic stick. Fucking uppity ass bitch, ya'll always wondering why black men can't stand your trifling asses," he mumbled, walking away

"Sorry about that, pretty lady, my friend doesn't know how to talk to a nice young woman like yourself." Mackey's smooth smile blurred with rising smoke. Conner just glared at her. He didn't like her; she was uppity like D.J said, and a fucking snob.

She had shrugged away most of her anger when D.J left but a fresh wave hit when she saw the white boy's glaring blues eyes burning into her. What the hell was he looking at? Did he want a piece too?

"Thank you, I should get going," she returned Connors glare, then turned her face and offered Mackey a grateful smile.

"You know, I like how you didn't take any shit from him, shows you respect yourself. Why don't you let me take you out some time? You know to make up for my friend."

"Thank you…really, thanks for the approach. Maybe some other time," she shook Mackey's hand trying not to wince at the firmness of his grip. He held it a little longer and than he should have, but he let her go.

She walked away, Mackay licked his lips.

"Man, she's fine! And did you see those eyes, you think they're contacts?"

Conner shrugged, pulling out his smokes, "I don't know, I wasn't even paying attention." He'd seen her around the way. He could tell she was a stuck up bitch and he didn't have the time or inclination to develop an interest in her. Even if she had the roundest, most perfect ass, or was so short, petite and cute. She couldn't be more than 5'5 and couldn't weigh more than 120. So what if she was feisty, spunky and her skin was the color of caramel toffee? Conner knew it was all just skin and make-up.

"How can you not pay attention to that? What, you not into black girls?"

"I've dated a few, but she's such a bitch."

"Ain't nothing wrong with a girl defending herself. Would you let someone talk to your mother or sister like that?" Mackey glanced at him quickly, turning his gaze back to watch her leave, "mmm, mmm, mm," he shivered.

"Nah, I guess not, but she walks around with her nose in the air and shit." He flicked his freshly lit cigarette to the ground in frustration; he didn't want to talk about her. She made him feel like a dead beat loser. The way she always brushed passed him on the street or glaring in his direction.

"Yeah, I like that though, that's what I need right there boy, oooh, I'm telling you, ain't many women who respect themselves like that anymore. That's the type of woman who'll take care of herself and her man. Man, she got an ass that'll make muthafucka stutter for reals!"

"Yeah I guess," he snuck a peak at her retreating back. She went into the lunch deli across the street. He felt a strange loss when he couldn't see her anymore, letting out a quiet sigh when he saw her sit outside with - no not with him…not with his brother-in-law.

"Hey man you hear me talkin' to you?"

"What?" Conner shook his head, narrowing his focus to the patio tables outside the deli.

"I said; I'll call you tomorrow and let you know where to get yo' paper."

"Okay, solid man, I gotta go, Jerome is waiting for me at the shop." He stopped staring at Alexa and shook Mackey's hand

"Stay cool man."

Conner nodded absently as they parted. Mackey took off but Conner lingered, keeping an eye on his brother-in-law. He tried to keep his mind from going to dark places. David couldn't be cheating on his sister. He thought David was a good guy. But obviously he wasn't, he was with that fucking bitch. They sat laughing, talking and touching. She'd lean in close and touch his hair and he'd gleam with lust. What pissed Conner off the most was that she wasn't with

him

, and for that reason he hated her even more, although he couldn't admit that fact to himself. He had to talk to his sister, maybe he was jumping to conclusions. Maybe she could fill him in.