Carie had just stuffed the last corner of toast with honey into her mouth when she heard a knock on her door. She frowned. It was supposed to be a lazy Sunday morning. All she wanted to do was go back to her bedroom and hibernate under her duvet just like the rest of the normal people should have been doing. Who knocks on your door Sunday morning?
Knock, knock, knock.
The sound was dull and plodding; maybe it was zombies.
Carie smirked and shook her head. She knew who it was. She sighed and cinched up her robe. Her rainbow striped socks dusted the floor as she shuffled over to the door. She peered through the peep-hole; all she saw was a chest.
"What?" she asked.
"Is apartment seven." It was a deep, monotone voice.
She rolled her eyes. "I
know,
Vasily. What do you want?"
"Open door. I have
tee-kit
."
Carie pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath. Always that dumb
tee-kit
. "Now?" she groaned.
From the other side of the door he started to read aloud in a heavy eastern European accent, "'This golden
tee-kit
is valid at
anytime
24/7 excluding Christmas...'"
"Yeah! Yeah! Got it!" Carie exclaimed.
"Is Christmas today?"
She sighed again. Was that a joke? After a long pause, she realized that he wasn't leaving. She drew a breath, slipped on a smile, and opened the door. "Good morning," she chimed.
The man from apartment seven filled her doorway.
Carie gave him the once over. Starting from his sandal covered feet, he wore a pair of navy-striped sleep pants over his tall legs, and a stretched out tank-top undershirt which did nothing to hide his broad and muscular shoulders and tattooed arms. He was quite the good-morning package except for the scraggly nest of mouse-brown hair crowning his head. Also, somewhere beneath all that facial fur must have been his chiseled jaw and perhaps a pair of lips which he rarely opened to speak to her, anyway.
She scoffed, "Wow. You're a real emergency, huh?"
Vasily offered a mute shrug. As he walked into her apartment, he handed her a piece of paper. Carie was familiar with it.
Three months ago, at the tail-end of a late night drinking binge with a couple of girlfriends at her apartment, months of pent up frustration of trying to gain the attentions of her beefcake neighbour across the hall in apartment seven had finally come to a head. Carie needed to vent, and she took it out on the ubiquitous shag on his face. It annoyed her like a crayon mark on a Renoir.
On a large yellow post-it note, she managed to scrawl:
"Neanderthal Special at Chez Carie! Time to get that dead rat fur off your face, Boris! This golden ticket is good for six grooming sessions with the sexiest Asian nymph with a razor. Try a Carie Special!"
After slapping it on his door, she crawled back into her apartment and passed out on the floor. Not surprisingly she forgot about it until a few days later when he knocked on her door and held it out two inches from her face. It took her a few seconds to focus on it, a few more to recognize it, but when she finally did, her jaw dropped and her cheeks went flush. Before she could sheepishly apologize for the joke, he marched right into her place, pulled out a chair, and sat stoically, hands on his thighs, waiting for her to shave him.
Bewildered, perturbed, confused, and cornered, Carie couldn't recall what happened over the next few minutes but somehow found herself haphazardly sheering off his whiskers with one of her pink lady-razors. For a moment before she began, she actually thought it might be fun. Hell, she had finally gotten a reaction from the man and he was actually in her apartment. He smelled nice, too, with a spicy musk scent.
Yet, any attempt to start some chit-chat, let a lone full-fledged flirting, was disregarded by the placid statue sitting in her chair.
However, he did answer when she asked him his name. "Vasily."
Carie sighed. It was like talking to Tarzan.
So she worked in silence, concentrating to do a proper job with inadequate tools. When she was done, she stepped back and breathed deeply; she actually felt a bit worn out.
"Okay, that's it," she said. She looked at the relatively clean-shaven Vasily. He did look much more attractive this way --the reduction of fur on his face somehow accentuating his intense, ocean-blue eyes, his high-cheek bones, and squared, dimpled chin-- but she wasn't feeling very appreciative of his looks at the moment.
Without a word, Vasily stood up and turned to leave. He suddenly paused, turned towards her and held out his hand. "
Tee-kit
," he said.
Carie tilted her head, confused.
"
Tee-kit
," he repeated, his hand still aloft.
Hesitantly, she took the piece of paper out of her pocket and handed it back to him.
"Five more," Vasily said, spreading out his fingers on his right hand.
"One, two, three, four, five," Carie counted aloud, "Good to see none of your digits have been mauled off by a bear,
Boris
."
"Vasily," he corrected, then he left.
Standing there with the pink razor in her hand, it finally dawned on her that he intended to come back. Carie sneered and scoffed to herself. This joker had some nerve! As if she would actually honour some stupid piece of paper and shave his scruffy Bolshevik mug anytime he felt like it.
Yet, four more times he came to her door unannounced holding that stupid piece of paper and four more times she let him in without a fuss. Each time was the same: Vasily sitting in stone-silence on the chair, Carie carefully shaving him. Not only that, she went out and got an electric clipper, some razors, and shaving cream to do the job properly.
At times during their sessions, Carie caught herself lingering on his scent, or gazing into his eyes, or brushing against his arms and shoulder; even the sound of his deep, steady breaths managed to tickle her nerves. Vasily always sat like a rigid watchman: painfully upright, one hand on each leg, eyes forward. His non-reaction squelched any sort of burgeoning feelings stirring in her gut and chest. Yet these sessions were the only real direct contact she ever had with her elusive neighbour.
Now, three months later, Vasily was handing her his "Golden Ticket" one last time. Though he was intruding on her normally lazy Sunday morning, Carie was ready for him.
Vasily pulled out a chair into the centre of her living room and sat down quietly.
After gathering up her razors, shaving cream, and a bowl of water, Carie came around and stood in front of him. As she tied up her long, raven hair into a pony tail, she asked, "The usual,
m'sieu
?"
He looked up at her and nodded. Then with a deliberate silence, he scanned her from her feet to her face then back down again. He cocked his head and frowned.
It took her a second to realize what was puzzling him. She was in her short-skirt silk "kimono" robe, black with pink trim, and white and red sakura designs. It was from a bargain basement store in Chinatown, but she liked it. While it kind of clashed with her rainbow fuzzy socks, it definitely revealed and highlighted her slender, cream legs.
"Hey," she said, hands on her waist, "You come in here on a Sunday morning, you get Carie in her cozies, okay?"
His expression suddenly softened. "I don't complain," he replied, "Looks nice."
"Oh. Okay. Well...good," Carie said, taken aback by his response. When she caught him tilting his head for another good look, an undeniably admiring look, her mind really started spinning; her nerves soon joined in. Or maybe she was over-thinking all of this. She chewed her lip and shook it off. "Shall we get started?"
"Clippers," Vasily said.
"Yeah, I was going to start with those."
"Shave head," he continued.
Carie stepped back. "You want me to shave your head?"
Vasily pinched his fingers close together and said, "Leave this much."
"Ah...sure. Alright, I can do that. You're the customer," Carie replied. As she reached for the short comb attachment, she said, "I should get a towel to wrap around you. Don't want hair all over your shirt."