An Encounter 8

The restaurant was lovely and the evening a good one but I was a little distracted, as I had things that I needed to say but hadn't had a chance before we dropped Rachel at my parents. Clive could tell I was a preoccupied before we left but I made sure he didn't have the chance to question me and later when he gave me a couple of inquiring glances I chose to ignore them; it was certainly not the time for talking with Dale and Amanda around.

Eventually we finished the meal then took a taxi home, seeing our friends off with a wave as we entered the house. Clive was a little drunk and since I'd worn my short grey dress he was getting amorous but it wasn't appropriate.

After a few squeezes and some brief kissing at the front door we went in then up to the bedroom where Clive grabbed me and made his intentions clear. I knew I had to talk to him now, later would be wrong.

"Stop." I told him forcefully. "We need to talk."

He looked at me and could tell it was something important so dropped his advances:

"You've been preoccupied all day." He stated sitting on the edge of the bed as I sat in the middle, back against the wall, propped up by the pillows, my knees under my chin. I could see him eyeing my legs, which in this position were displayed to him and sighed; this was not how I'd planned it in my mind but I had no choice.

"I need for us to talk but I need for you to listen first. I need to explain it all to the end and I'm afraid you'll never hear me out!" He looked at me and I could tell he was thinking hard and despite the drink knew this was serious. I waited and in the end he responded.

"Ok, I'll listen."

"Right to the end without any comments?"

"Sure."

"No. I need you to agree as this is really important; listen without comment to the very end!"

"Ok, I will... to the end without comment."

I looked at him and wondered if he would. I didn't expect him to remain calm for very long but I preyed he'd hear it through at least once. The problem was going to be after he did, would he get aggressive (no he wouldn't hit me, well I didn't believe he would, he wasn't that kind of man) scream at me, throw me out or worse get up and leave himself. He was looking at me, now worried and with good reason, I was about to shatter his world:

"I'm going to talk and after you can do whatever you want, say whatever you want." I paused, my mouth was dry and the alcohol which was dulling my brain a little seemed to dissipate from my system in a flash. I could see Clive was more watchful as well, still a lot worse for wear than me but alert. He nodded again to tell me he'd do as asked.

"I'm pregnant." I opened then moved swiftly on before he could reflect anything; joy would have been likely as he was the one who wanted more children. "I'm going to get a termination because... because the child isn't yours..."

I'd said it then watched as the emotions swarmed over his face; delight, shock, anger and then distress and finally hurt, real soul-deep hurt.

"I need to explain, so you understand how and maybe why and then we can talk... or whatever you want." I didn't want an answer and to his credit he said nothing just stared at me as I pulled my knees tighter to my body.

"It was the Christmas party, your party at the hotel. That nightmare event I begged you not to take me to. I was dreading going again this year to be sat with those awful, bitchy women for hours, either ignoring me or being condescending about me, well us. Remember I told you before we went that I hated the prospect and it was as foul as I'd feared.

That woman, Kiera, she was just as dreadful as always; making less than subtle remarks about how young I looked and how she could scarcely believe I had a five year old daughter. Obvious where it was leading and frankly stupid but there was nothing I could say or do and all I wanted to do was die. But of course she still reminded everyone; 'only twenty two now, such a young thing', you know, stuff like that. The 'of course you were a school girl mum' dig didn't happen this year but it was just as bad!

Then there were the others who just ignored me or worse dragged me up to dance but then virtually froze me out. I was so humiliated, I cried again but this time I kept it from them, making sure they didn't get any satisfaction from it. I know you don't understand what it feels like but it is so crushing, so deliberately hurtful that, that I feel I will end up either falling apart there and then or have to run away and hide. Either way they win." Clive was shaking his head at this point but I ploughed on.

"You've never understood how they belittle me. It's nearly all of them, Cathy's nice and Margaret Gates is as well but she's nearly sixty and was settled with some of the other older ones and most of them don't have the time-of-day for me. It might have been ok if Cathy had been there but I was alone and you wouldn't stay with me no matter how many times I asked you.

"I had people to talk..."

"Please! Let me say my piece first... just let me tell it all, I have to do it like this... please and then... then you can do whatever you feel you need to do..." I didn't wait just looked down at me feet and continued:

"So there we were, this awful, awful evening those dreadful women making my life hell and you were getting drunk with your mates. So I asked you probably a hundred times if we could go but you were having too much fun. I knew that some of the women were watching me waiting to see if I'd leave on my own so I stuck it out for a while longer.

It was just after eleven and I went to the toilet preying that when I returned you'd let us leave. Christ! I didn't even have a room key, I know why because you didn't want me to disappear like last year and 'embarrass' you. Anyway I came out and there was this guy standing there who looked at me and smiled and said hi.

We chatted and then we walked back towards the party only it turned out he was in the other suite at a different function. I told him I was this way pointing at our room but he asked me if the party was any good and I admitted it wasn't so he asked me to join him at his equally dull event for a dance.

I thought what the hell, he was more interesting to talk to than anyone I'd spoken to all evening and you were ignoring me and besides it was just a dance. So we went in and danced. The room was smaller but just as many people there so we were close together on the floor as we bopped. It was nice and he was funny and attentive and I liked his company. We had drinks chatted and I enjoyed myself, helped by the fact that there wasn't a soul there who knew me.

So we spent probably an hour in each others company and then when the slow dances came on we got closer and that's when I realised I'd given him probably the wrong signals, only I didn't feel guilty more grateful. He was very attractive, tall and strong and... and a real catch. Now I'm not saying I'm ugly and I know you always say that I'm pretty but I just never feel that way so it was flattering.

Of course he was close and I could feel him... you know... that he was excited by me... like you get... and he was... well... anyway, eventually we had a kiss or two. Then I decided I needed to get away so told him that I had to get back to you but he asked why I wanted to suffer the taunts of those other women, I'd chatted to him about them, so suggested since I was more or less alone I might like to come back to his room for a nightcap!" I looked up to see Clive watching me. Cold expression; tight lipped but silent.

"Anyway I'm not a fool so knew what that meant and told him thanks but I really needed to get back to my husband. So anyway I left but he followed and told me he'd wait a while just in case I changed my mind and he sat on one of the sofas near the elevators. I came to see you, to ask, no plead with you to come back to our room. That man had obviously had an effect on me and I was feeling a little aroused but I certainly didn't intend it to go anywhere. I just wanted you so I came in and received a couple of pithy remarks about my absence then when I located you, you were drunk and refused point blank to leave. I was so angry with you because I actually begged you to take me up to our room but you said you were going to stay a while longer. Remember you didn't even give me the damn key!

So I left and of course Richie was there, waiting. He didn't say anything and we got into the lift together silently. He asked me where I was going and I told him I wanted to go to my own room on floor three but didn't have a key. He was on the same floor and suggested I wait with him and 'have that drink'. I know it was transparent and I did know what might happen but I was really pissed at you but even so I thought I was a big enough girl to just keep it to drinks. It turned out his room was right opposite ours and that only made me think it was somehow ok, as if I really was waiting for you even though I knew with the bar open until two you'd be a long time." I looked down at my feet, as I continued, this was the really hard bit:

"The moment we were inside he changed. Now I don't want any doubts here, it wasn't rape or being forced it was just aggressive, dominant I suppose. He grabbed me and we kissed, I mean really kissed and I had very little will to resist; I was drunk, turned on and still so, so angry at you! You'd acted so heartless, dismissed my real desperation and ignored my feelings all without a care, just so you could drink with your pathetic workmates. But... but that was no excuse except I felt less about you at that moment and maybe that's why I didn't stop him although I was not sure how I could, yet knew I should stop somehow.

He was putting his hands all over me as we kissed then he slid one up and rubbed the flesh between my stockings and panties. I remember that because it was like a jolt of current as he touched me and I just sort of gave in, I realised I wanted it as much as he did. So he began really going at me; kissing me hard, really hard and his fingers found me and I was wet, really wet as it happened. I managed to get him off me so I could slip out of my dress or I think he'd have torn it off no sooner was it at my ankles he was back at me and it was full on. I'm not going to pretend at all, I wanted it really wanted it so we went to the bed and I slipped out of my bra and knickers and kicked off my heels. He stripped and showed me his manhood and I was in awe, he was really big and... " I paused then realising what I sounded like.

"Sorry. He was large and he was about to jump me when I squeaked for him to wear a condom. He told me he'd rather not but thankfully he found one, well two actually and rolled it on before we began. I don't know how to make you aware, or if I should, but it was simply the best, he was very physical and the sex lasted a long time and I had several climaxes... I'm sorry but I need you to know because... well you'll hear. So we did it and I loved it. After I looked at him and knew what people said about black men is true..."

"He was black!?"

"Yes... he was black... anyway it was very... good sex and very... well just about the best I've experienced... sorry... so I err... we lay together for a while and then he got me to help him grow again and after he put on the other rubber we did it again only this time he was being crude, you know saying stuff about how I liked taking black and how I was... well nasty stuff, sex talk. It worked because I had more climaxes before he had his second. After that I went to his bathroom and tried to make myself look decent before dressing and leaving him.

I went to our room and knocked but you didn't answer so I tried the party and of course there you were; very drunk and still with those bloody men. So instead of feeling upset and guilty I simply prised the key from your hand and stormed off. But that was the whole point, I was mad again and still feeling a little light headed from the sex. Anyway I got to our room and stood looking at Richie's door and before I knew what I was thinking I knocked again.

He opened it in his robe with a smile then asked me crudely but somehow sexily if I'd come to sample some more black meat. I said yes and went inside. That was that I was undressed and under the duvet in seconds only this time as we began he told me he didn't have any more condoms and I like an idiot told him ok he'd have to pull out. The sex was great and he got me to admit several times that taking him bare was better, which it was I guess. Anyway we got more and more graphic until he was telling me that it was clear that I liked taking him unprotected..."

"Charlotte please..." Clive started but I stopped him by putting my fingers to his mouth.

"Hear me out, you need me to tell you it like this!"

"...so he said this again and again and I was agreeing with him because I was so turned on and then when he was at the point of no return he told me he was going to ejaculate inside me and I should hold on! It was the talk and the whole event and I just let him. I had a really big orgasm and we lay for ages shattered by it all." Clive was looking down now his face white, I was thankful he'd not walked out already.

"You were not back yet, not that I expected you so soon. I got up and went to the toilet sitting watching a few drops falling from me telling myself the man had climaxed twice into a condom so there probably wasn't much in me and I'd be ok.

"I flushed the cistern and stood looking at my smeared makeup when he appeared and started on me again. I could see myself with this big black man, his large hands on me his growing cock bobbing about near to me and... and I just let he take me again. I watched myself as he took me from behind and it was just as erotic as the times before plus he was cruder telling me to look at him in me and how easy I was. I just loved it... I'm sorry but I did and he got me really excited only suddenly we heard you knocking on the room door opposite and I was forced to stop.

I didn't know what to do so slipped on my dress, nothing else then listened to you. Thankfully you stumbled away and I was able to look out of Richie's room then when you were halfway down the corridor I slipped to our room, opened the door then called to you.

Of course you came inside the room stumbled to the bathroom and then passed out on the bed. You probably don't remember but you were sick an hour later and I was worried you'd choke or something so kept an eye on you until I finally went to sleep.

I woke around seven you were snoring and I couldn't wake you to get you to roll over so I had to give up and I got up only all I could think about was Richie. It was awful I know but he also had my shoes, stockings and things and I just wanted them back only I suspected what might happen should I knock but... I did. I wasn't in love with him or anything it was just... I'd been left wanting more and... I knew he'd be gone very soon and that would be that. I told myself I'd just get my stuff only I really knew better. He answered the door and I went inside asking for my clothes to which he simply undid my robe and told me I'd have to earn them back! Christ I was so easy then. I let him take me to bed and we had sex for almost an hour. He even told me he was going to shoot in me and I just said 'good'!

I was a fool because I kept thinking he'd not have any sperm left only of course it was six hours since the last time and it was only when I sat on the toilet again and his slime fell out of me I realised he probably put quite a lot in me." I glanced at Clive who made eye contact, hurt didn't come close so I looked down again. "I knew I needed the morning after pill just to be safe.

Anyway I returned to you and had a shower and got dressed then went for breakfast alone. Thankfully none of the bitches were there just Margaret and her husband who I joined and they were really nice. I got back finally woke you then made you shower before checking out." I looked at him again. "You were sick in the car when we got home so I had to clean it then we went over to mum and dads to get Rachel and stayed for dinner. The pill had to wait until the next day.

On Monday you had that problem with your car again so you dropped Rachel at the school and me at work and in all the fuss I didn't have a chance to do anything, certainly not while I was in work or at lunchtime. I decided to go that evening but you were bloody late again and I couldn't think of an excuse. So in the end I had to wait and wait; three days of no car and trying to sort ballet for Rachel and other things so I just crossed my fingers.

We didn't make love at all that week partly because I had some bites left from Richie and also I was still a bit angry at you. Then that Friday when we might have you decided to get drunk with your old football crowd. We went to Millie on Saturday and that night you crashed as soon as we got home which meant with no sex the next night either you'd not been with me for over a week since Richie. Of course when we finally did it I felt bad and tried to make it special and I think it was."

I fixed Clive with my eyes. "So the baby will not be yours and I want a termination. I don't want a black baby and truthfully I don't want anyone's baby but yours. I love you, despite your stupid, stupid friends and lack of understanding of my fears and needs but... but I know I've done something more than unforgivable... I just... there is no justification... That's it...."

I waited but Clive said nothing then after staring at me for twenty or thirty seconds he got up and walked out the door. It was then and only then I cried. He returned a short while later from down stairs, stony faced and got me to sit as he looked at me. My knees were up to my chin again my eyes on my stockinged feet, I felt awful.

"You can't begin to understand my pain, so don't try. I was wrong to ignore you and to expose you to that environment but what you did was a whole different thing. Now I want a straight answer; if he came to the door now and offered to take you with him, to live and raise the baby, would you?"

"No." I replied flatly.

"Not even to save your unborn child's life?"

"I don't want anyone's baby but yours, I meant what I said."

"So if I told you I wanted you to keep the baby and stay with me what would you say?"

"What?"

"Keep the baby and stay with me." He didn't look unhappy about this but I really didn't want a black baby."

"No." I repeated. "I don't want this child."

"Ok then have an abortion. But I warn you I don't think I will love you as I have done. You broke something and I'm not sure we will survive this besides an abortion is murder, you know my views." My tears were falling but it tried not to say anything. He was right.

"Now I need something from you."

"What?" I asked quietly. Here it comes, separate beds or even a divorce.

"I want you to take your knickers off and ask me to fuck you!"

"I... err... what...WHAT?" I stuttered.

"You want to be treated nasty and spoken to like a tramp so I will; perhaps it will help a little. Now get your whore body ready for me and ask me. I don't need condoms at least!" I stared at him this was the last thing I wanted to do and he knew it. I felt even worse as I slithered off my knickers and lay there then in a less than convincing voice asked him to 'fuck me'.

Clive jumped me and I was shocked at how hard he was. He banged away for only a few minutes before he came then after lying with me he got me to get him aroused again which wasn't difficult. The second time he spoke badly to me calling me a black cock slut and a cheap whore then telling me over and over how I clearly loved chocolate cock buried in my married pussy. He had his second climax and I lay feeling terrible but he simply added that if I'd really enjoyed Richie's cock that much, maybe I could find some other dark cock to give me some pleasure. I looked at him hurt and dispirited then he added he knew of a few guys who might like a 'pop at me'. I cried at this and told him he was making me feel cheap but he simply added that I was!