She bit her lip, and with gathered strength, she pushed him away.
He stumbled back. "What's wrong?" He asked.
She looked away from him, down at the floor. "This is insane. I can't do this."
He ran his fingers through his hair. He heard the uncertainty in her voice and the shakiness.
"I'm sorry. You're right...." He started.
She kept her head turned away from him.
"I shouldn't have barged into your life the way I did," he admitted. She still didn't say anything.
"Dana, please say something..."
After a long moment, she looked up at him. He gasped. He saw fear in her beautiful brown eyes. "Oh sweetie..." he began stepping back to her. She held up both hands to stop him.
"No. Don't," she said.
"Ok, okay...let's just talk." He urged gently.
"Rick. I can't do this. You don't know me. What were you expecting?" she asked furiously. "I am not what you think I am. I can't give you anything!"
He couldn't do anything but stare at her perplexed, wondering who she was and where the woman went who had just kissed his breath away.
This new woman was staring at him as if she had never seen him before. She was shaking and close to tears.
He began to raise his hands to touch hers, but she flinched. He dropped his hands and stared at her for a moment more.
"What do you want me to do, Dana?" His voice was hoarse. She bit her bottom lip and looked away.
"I need you to leave."
He ran his fingers through his hair once more, and shifted from one foot to the other.
"PLEASE! JUST GO!!!" she screamed.
He swore and walked away.
When the door closed shut, she crumbled against the wall and cried for what seemed like hours. When she finally pulled herself up to take a shower, she looked like hell.
Her eyes were puffy like someone had hit her in both eyes. Her makeup was smeared completely and all she wanted to do was cry some more.
He must think she's crazy. She thought. In truth, all she had wanted to do was keep kissing him. But something deep down told her that this...whatever it was, was going to end in heartache and it would be her heart breaking.
It always did.
It always started exciting and meaningful...full of promise and long kisses. All of the men she had ever loved had pretended to care, but they always found someone better. It was usually someone they could love freely.
She, on the other hand, was always just a truck stop – great for a good meal, gas up...and then they were off to their destination – where they really wanted to be. She couldn't go there again. Not this time. Not with Rickard. She knew the moment she woke up and looked into his beautiful eyes that he could break her heart.
"Your grand gesture almost had me," she said out loud. "What? I'm supposed to fling my panties off at hello, and wave good-bye at the airport tomorrow? Then wait patiently for you to make the rules, set the schedule and expect me to always be accessible. No, thank you."
She stripped off her clothes and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water cascade over her body and wash away the tears that kept flowing.
Meanwhile, Rick made his way back to the Hilton, in a shock. He ran the scene over and over in his head, but for the life of him he didn't know where things went wrong. She had been kissing him, for God's sake!
Yes, he should have walked away, and he was going to. But she was looking so good he had to kiss her. But then SHE pulled him close and welcomed his kisses and touch. It had been perfect.
He hadn't planned on anything more that a just a taste before he was going to leave and make a promise to see her the next day.
"That's all I wanted," he said aloud.
"Excuse me?" the taxi driver asked, looking over his shoulder.
"Nothing," Rickard said shaking his head, as if trying to clear it. Where did it all go wrong, he sighed to himself this time.
When the taxi driver arrived at his hotel, he paid him without looking at the bill before handing it over. He slowly made his way to his room, feeling like shit. Before he went to bed he tried to call her. The phone went straight to voice mail.
She was right. He barely knew her. But for the past three years, he had thought of nothing else but her. Her gorgeous almond shaped eyes, her smell...that feeling of need.
He had tried to erase her from his mind the moment he'd went to the American Embassy the day after their dinner. They had told him that she and Pete left – were heading back to the states.
She hadn't told him she was leaving early. He was angry. But the anger turned back into need...and he was never quite able to shake it.
Yes, he had been with other women since then. But there was something about her. He had never even considered falling in love with a black woman.
Not that he was against it, but because he really never been around many. In fact, with his line of work, there were very few women of any kind that did it for him. But Dana – damn! She was the complete package...fiesty, sexy, smart, fearless and smelled so damn good.
His friends thought that he was crazy for taking a vacation – the first in two years – so go "chase after a fantasy", as they put it. But he had to know if what he had felt was just based on meaningless desire.
Seeing her earlier, in the flesh, was intoxicating. And when she agreed to go to dinner with him, he knew this was fate and was going to work out.
Maybe he rushed it. Maybe he should not have gotten physical. It was his fault...he shouldn't have been so cave man like.
The next morning, he decided to purchase farewell flowers and took them to her job.
