I lay on the floor while everyone made their way to the kitchen. I became embarrassed and ashamed remembering that Joe was there filming my wanton acts of sluttiness. I got up and grabbed my clothes piled at the door. Slipping my shirt on, I quietly ran to my car.
My cell started ringing before I even exited the drive; I threw it to the floor. When I finally parked at home I shakily slipped into my skirt.
Having left without eating I put some leftovers in the oven and went to take a shower. I tried as hard as I could to wash the semen and grime, but I couldn't scrub the dirtiness I felt off of me. When I was done I checked on the kids who were fast asleep. I went to the kitchen and retrieved my supper, but I was not very hungry and just pushed it around with my fork, staring blankly at nothing.
I walked to my room thinking, 'I really need help' I lay on the bed considering my situation and finally drifted off to sleep.
The next morning when I got to work I looked up numbers for therapists that specialized in sexual dysfunctions, if that's what I had. Dr. Valerie Myers caught my eye among a few, so I made several calls and left my cell number for calls back.
I was at my desk doing paperwork when my office phone rang.
"Hello this is Ali," I answered. A familiar voice answered.
"Liv, what can I do for you?" I said my voice cold as ice.
"Yes I left," I replied as Liv spoke, "You set me up!"
"No, if I had known I would not have gone," I said agitated, "Especially with Joe there."
Liv continued but I cut her off "Who was that new guy you were abusing?"
"What? Your fiancé!" I lowered my voice, "How did that all come about?"
"Hammer did what!?" I asked, shivering, "He sent him videos of you..."
"He did what?" I asked angrily, "Sent a text saying you looked hot and wanted to see it in person? Is he sick in the head?"
"What do you mean he knows his role?" I asked in shock, "I don't believe this, no I have to get back to work, bye," I slammed the phone down. I just could not believe what Liv just told me - does Joe have the same feelings?
I could not concentrate on my work the rest of the morning. At noon I left work to try and calm down. As soon as I walked out my cell rang.
"Hello? Yes Dr. Myers I did call," I strode to my car at a quicker pace for privacy, "Hold on one minute," I unlocked the car and got in before continuing.
"Yes, I saw that you specialized in sexual dysfunctions, I think I have one." I listened¬, "A consult? Yes that would be fine, when? Tonight at 6:00, so soon? Yes I'll be there, t-thank you!"
I sat in my car for a few minutes letting out a sigh of relief. Having got a consult so soon, I really thought I could beat my addiction finally. I took a walk in the park, to compose myself before returning to the office. Kelli was sitting at her desk when I walked in, looking up with a hopeful smile.
"Ali you look better," Kelli said, as I walked through the door.
"I made an appointment for a consult tonight at 6:00. I just have to overcome this thing Kelli."
"That's great, Ali! Whatever I can do to help I will."
"Do you mind watching the kids?"
"Like I said," Kelli answered with a glowing smile, "whatever I can do to help."
"Thanks Kel," I gave her a big hug. Having received a consult with Dr. Myers, I was able to accomplish my work that day. I was much more focused, feeling I had finally taken the right approach to beating my addiction.
I was leaving work at 4:30, when my cell rang, looking at the caller I.D. I shut my phone off and stuffed it in my purse, it was Hammer.
I found the building Dr. Myers office was in. There was a park across the street so I took a walk trying to come up with the right words to explain my actions and needs. It wasn't far from the park so I left for my appointment at 5:30.
I walked into the reception area at 5:45 to fill out the paperwork. Not wanting anyone to know I was seeing a therapist I paid cash. There was no paperwork so I took a seat, waiting. Dr. Myers called me in promptly at 6:00.
I was surprised; she was a striking woman with long red hair, built much like Kelli. Dr. Myers was wearing a form fitting navy blue skirt and jacket that accentuated her fiery red hair; she had up in a pony tail. Looking at her face I could not believe her credentials she looked so young. I looked right into her hazel green eyes smiling. I hadn't looked at another woman like that since I first saw Kelli strip.
After closing the door, "Ms. Rhodes, how may I help you?" Dr. Myers asked.
"Please call me Ali. I really don't know where to start..." I sat down in the soft leather chair across from Dr. Myers desk. I looked at the wall decorated with diplomas and awards in her field of therapeutic psychology.
"Well Ali," Dr. Myers leaned back in her chair, "let's start with why you think you have a sexual dysfunction."
"Well it started just over a year ago and I can't stop," I started shaking.
"What started?"
"I can't say no to... certain men when it comes to sex."
"Okay that's a good start," Dr. Myers took out her note pad and made some entries, "Now, how did this all come about?"
"I was happily married to a man that traveled a lot for work. I was promoted at work to store manager but had to transfer to a new store."
"And this is where it began, correct?"
"Yes. There was a store clerk who for some reason caught my attention, so I kept my eye on him," I said with a tremor in my voice, remembering those first days, not knowing what was in store for me...
"And this clerk, tell me about him?"
"I kept watch over his sales and they were very high. I walked around while he was at work he just had this gift of gab. I was still suspicious of him, I don't know why."
"And?"
"I didn't have any reason to be, but I had this uneasy feeling about him," I said trembling, "Then one night he got stuck during a rain storm. I told him to take an umbrella and I would pay for it the next day, but he refused."
"So how did he get home?" Dr. Myers asked inquisitively, looking at her note pad.
"I offered him a ride home and he accepted. When we got there he told me to wait while he checked on his little brother and sister, so I did," thinking why didn't I just drive off?
"And he came back?"
"Yes he came back about 10 minutes later."
"And what happened next?"
"We were talking and I was looking out the driver side window. I don't remember exactly what he said, but when I turned to look at him he had his genitalia out. And he was stroking it," I started trembling harder, remembering how Ronnie's penis looked as he was stroking it.
"Take your time Ali," she said with a calming voice, "What happened next?"
"Well, I already knew he was confident after watching him around the store. Sitting there I couldn't stop myself from looking at his penis. He kept telling me he knew why I was there, that I wanted his penis, he became... conniving and so forceful." I had to stop - my breathing was becoming labored, I started feeling excited.
"Take a sip of water and calm down Ali," she said in a soothing voice, "And when you're ready we can continue."
I took a couple of slow, deep breaths before sipping the water. My legs were crossed and when I ran my leg up and down my thigh I noticed the gusset of my panties was getting soaked. I just hoped Dr. Myers hadn't noticed. She hadn't looked up from her note pad since I stopped talking; I felt as though she knew what was happening to me though.
"I... I think I'm ready."
"Okay. You left off at him being conniving and forceful, what happened next?"
"He became demanding and conniving, telling me I wanted him and to feel his penis and he wouldn't let up," I rubbed my thighs together, remembering just how he said it.
"Go on Ali."
"He then started with 'Just touch it,' and I tried to bargain with him. 'If I do, will you put it away?" I asked. He said if I didn't want it he would, and I fell for it. I touched it and pulled my hand away, but he didn't think I had gotten a good enough feel and wrapped his hand around mine while bringing it back to his penis, wrapping our hands around it," My thighs rubbed together harder. My pussy was getting wetter just talking about it.
Dr. Myers looked up with a cool gaze, "Is there something wrong Ali?"
"J-Just really nervous, Dr. Myers..." I lied trying to calm down to no avail.
"Relax Ali and call me Val if it will help," she smiled genuinely. Her gaze calmed me down a little.
"Thank you, Val," I breathed out in relief, "Okay. Before I knew it he had let go of my hand, but I continued stroking him without thinking. The next thing I knew he was telling me to kiss it, something I had always refused to do for my husband, but... But I did it. I kissed Ronnie's penis. A-And then he -" I couldn't take it. I came trembling, biting my lip as my fingers dug into the chair.
"Take a minute Ali," Dr. Myers said as I came in the chair just a few feet away, "I'm here to help remember?"
I took a couple of deep breaths as I came down from my orgasm before continuing, "He told me to suck it and I did, like a whore!" I started tearing up, feeling the familiar shame just from remembering the events.
"It's okay Ali. Is that all that happened?"
"No. No, that's not all that happened..." I wiped the tears from my cheek, even as I felt my pussy quivering in anticipation.
"Did you have vaginal sex with Ronnie?" Dr. Myers leaned forward giving me a comforting look.
"No it was all oral. I continued even after all the choking and gagging. I just felt like I had to please him. I learned to control my gagging and was able to take all 8 inches into my throat," I gulped, as if his cock was in my mouth again.
"When he neared his climax, he told me he was close and for me to keep it all in my mouth. I could have pulled his penis out of my mouth, but I didn't. I didn't want to..." I was breathing hard again and squirming in the chair despite my best efforts, "When he ejaculated I did as he said, even though some leaked out onto my chin."
"What happened next, Ali?"
"He... He pulled my head - out of his lap - and told me to show him. I did," I said, fighting my tears even as another climax began to rush through my belly, "He told me to swallow it. And I felt I had to do it. And did it without thinking, and showed him his cum in my mouth...!" I trembled with my second climax, sobbing as I did.
"Focus Ali," Dr. Myers said gently, "How did you feel after Ronnie made you do those things?"
