I am a high school Music teacher in a low socio-economic school district in the Detroit area, a district consisting of mostly Latino and African-American students. I am white, but I have never had any trouble teaching and understanding minority students. The pay is pretty good, but the job can sometimes be a little "rough." A few weeks ago I turned 35 and for some reason I started to feel depressed about my age and appearance. I have become a "full-figured woman" from the waist down, with modest breasts and a slight tummy, but also with a full butt and thighs. Sometimes I just feel old and "fat." I have light brown hair and brown eyes. I am still single. I've had my share of dates over the years, but I'm very busy with my job and I guess I'm holding out for just the right guy to sweep me off my feet.
That said, something very surprising happened to me last week that I am trying to understand, and I hope that writing about it will help in that endeavor.
It was the afternoon before my annual Spring concert. I had a couple of Senior African-American boys who told me at school that day that they were going to have to stay on campus after school until the evening concert because they had no one to pick them up or anywhere to go. They told me they were just going to find a restroom to change into their tuxes and avoid campus security until it was time to congregate for the concert. I felt really badly for these boys. They were goof-offs at times, but good boys at heart. They were committed to my program, even though their parents didn't show the same level of support and often times these boys (who happened to be cousins) were left to fend for themselves. I decided to be nice and invited them to come home with me to change their clothes. I told them I would make sure they had a good dinner before the concert. They both smiled widely and accepted my invitation graciously.
When school was over, the boys met me in my classroom. I asked them to carry some heavy boxes for me to my car, and we headed off to the parking lot. Once we were all loaded up and on the road for the approximate 15-minute drive home, LaBrawn asked if he could play a CD. I told him, "Sure!"
It was a hip-hop album, which I should have known. I've never been a big fan of hip-hop, mostly because I never saw any musical value to it. But I was in a good mood and feeling open to giving it another evaluation. I asked who the artist was, and LaBrawn told me it was an artist named Sleepy Brown. I had never heard of him. The music was a little "milder" and more "smooth" than most hip-hop, however, and there was some real singing going on! The lyrics were actually almost romantic, with the singer talking about showering his lover with nice things and making her "feel good." I started to feel a little uncomfortable when they both starting singing these lyrics, but I had to admit they sounded good! I had a few little "butterflies" in my tummy as I drove, thinking about how proud I was of these boys. The third song I heard, which was the last one before we got home, was a little more "raunchy" in tone, talking about showing his lover attention until her "legs started shaking." No matter how inappropriate it was, I could not make myself turn it off! I was really aroused by the rhythm and lyrics and I wanted to feel more of that.
Finally, we pulled up to my house and piled out. The boys helped me unload the boxes and we went into the house. I was thankful that I had just picked it up a couple days before! I told the boys to make themselves at home and showed them where the downstairs bathroom was where they could change. I then went upstairs to get myself ready.
This is where things went a little awry. I went into my bedroom and closed the door, and I got out of my school clothes and started the bath. As I slid into the warm water, I continued to think about the lyrics to those songs. I remembered that I had some music channels on my cable receiver, so I reached for the remote and turned on the TV mounted over my bathtub and found a nice soft R&B channel. Then I closed my eyes and let the water blanket my body with warmth. I began to rub my hands over my breasts, down to my tummy, and to my crotch. I rarely masturbated, but I was definitely in the mood to let off some steam that particular afternoon!
I pumped some of my pretty-smelling soap into my hands and sat up to rub it over my body. It felt so slippery on my breasts, and I eventually lifted my pelvis out of the water to clean my vagina and anus, and probably "finish the job" masturbating. Just as I got my crotch area all lathered up and ready for some finger action, there was a knock at my bedroom door. I couldn't believe it! I immediately lowered my body back into the water and called out, "Yes?"
"M-Miss Bach?" It was LaBrawn's voice. "Um, we have a problem with the sink in your kitchen. Marcus accidentally broke the handle and there's water spraying everywhere."
In a panic, I stammered, "Uh, OK. I'll be right there!"
I leaped out of the bathtub and dried myself off as fast as I could. I threw on the nearest robe, and tied it together as I ran through my bedroom door and down the stairs. I could see both boys struggling with the kitchen faucet as water was shooting up into my ceiling.
"What happened?" I asked, agitated.
"I-I'm sorry, Miss Bach," said Marcus, clearly embarrassed. "I thought I'd clean up these dishes for you when I guess the handle popped off."
LaBrawn continued working with the handle and finally popped it back on, ending the problem. It had been giving me trouble the last few weeks and my neighbor always figured out how to get the thing back on, but I was disgusted that I did not have it fixed by now. I thanked LaBrawn for figuring it out and I told Marcus it was OK, and that I thought it was very sweet that he tried to do my dishes. I grabbed a towel and stood up on the counter so I could reach the ceiling to dry it. Meanwhile, LaBrawn had grabbed another towel and was mopping up the excess water on the floor.
As I bent over to get off the counter, I heard him say, "Wow." It was quiet but I heard it clear as day. I looked down and saw him looking up at me from the floor. Then I realized suddenly he could see my bare butt under the silky robe I had thrown on!
"Oh, LaBrawn, I'm so sorry! You shouldn't have seen that!" I said with humiliation.
"You shouldn't be ashamed of that, Miss Bach!" LaBrawn said with a bashful smile as he got up from the floor. "It looked pretty nice from where I was!"
"Yeah, Miss Bach!" Marcus piped in. "Lots of guys talk about what a rockin' body you got!"
I threw him a shocked look, and LaBrawn quickly jumped in, "Not that we talk about it or anything."
There was an awkward silence as I processed what I was hearing. Were these strapping young lads saying I was attractive? Suddenly, I decided I was flattered.
"You know what guys? That's really nice to hear. For a while I have been feeling like I'm old and unattractive. You two just made my day," I said.
The boys threw each other a surprised look. Then LaBrawn quipped, "Well, you could really make our day by taking off that robe!"
Before I could answer, LaBrawn moved towards me and began to kiss me. Without thinking, I kissed him in return. Then I could feel him untie my silky pink robe as LaBrawn walked up behind me and removed it, letting it slide down my shoulders. As I made out with LaBrawn right there in my kitchen, I was stark naked and I didn't seem to care! It had been months since I had had sex, and my body was telling me it was starving for it!
LaBrawn continued kissing me passionately as he began to rub his hands up and down my naked body. I could also feel Marcus, still standing behind me, rubbing my back with his hands and kissing my back and neck. Soon, he had reached his hands around to my breasts and began groping them as he continued his light kisses on my back.
Marcus was all over me! He moved his hands from my breasts down my tummy, around my hips, and then he began to kiss down my back as he crouched down to his knees behind me. Now LaBrawn was groping my breasts while we continued to make out, as Marcus was rubbing his hands over my butt, occasionally giving the cheeks a "squeeze" and kissing them gently.