"I know some of that was hard to hear," Jay said.
Mary and Todd looked at each other and then at the Black man standing in their driveway. Mary spoke. "Do you...do you feel that way?," she questioned.
Jay studied her face, "are you sure you really want to know the answer?"
Mary wasn't sure. She felt that whatever Jay said in response held the value of truth and despite her desire to be a "good" White person she was uneasy as to whether that's what Jay saw her as.
"Of course, you have to tell us, what did you think about that speaker," Todd commanded as much as asked. "Surely you can't see us like...that!"
Jay turned to Todd. He set his gaze so that he was looking deep into the mans eyes.
There was a pause.
"Why? Aren't you like that?" Jay said in a deadly serious way.
Todd's gaze faltered and though Jay was facing away from Her he knew the effect on Mary was the same as if he had turned and punched her in the gut.
"We're...we're not! I can't believe you..." Todd complained.
Jay cut him off. "I didn't say you were. I asked if you weren't just like what the speaker described. You think you're not racist because for you it's either Klan or saint!"
"I..."Todd tried protesting sensing a lesson was coming and despite what he might want to be able to say about himself he didn't want to be explained to by Jay.
"Mary, you are a touchy person...you touch people when you communicate. That's men and women, right? You give out hugs if anything happens. And yet we have worked in the same office for over a decade and the only time we have had physical contact was when my mother passed and you looked terrified when you gave me that briefest of hugs. And..." Jay began his explanation.
"But...I..." Mary attempted to interject.
"And...despite the fact that when you give out the hugs...to women or men, White women or White men it's a full on embrace with body on body contact when my mother passed and a hug would seem completely appropriate you went through pains to make sure our bodies touched as little as possible," Jay gave Mary a firm look.
"And in all the years I've known you I haven't seen you physically contact any of the Black people you have interacted with," he accused.
Mary dropped her head. While she consciously held no ill will toward Black people she didn't need to examine her past actions to recognize the truth in what Jay said.
Finished popping Mary's bubble Jay turned back to Todd.
"Kaci just started college, right? No father wants to think about what their daughter is doing in certain ways but knows that when a guy shows up in her life and is around for a while certain things are likely happening."
Todd didn't like where this was headed.
Jay gave Todd an even more serious look than before, "yet you don't stop her from seeing these men who you and I know, being men, want to get her in bed...do you? It is part of the course of things. You block out the fact that the nice young man you see her with is at some point going to climb on top of her, push into her from behind, or be completely selfish in using her for his own satisfaction. You ignore all that...right?!"
Jay had made his point he didn't need to continue Todd knew where he was going and what had been said was more than enough.
"Would you ignore it if the nice young man looked like me? Would you just ignore it if I was the nice young man climbing on top of Kaci, if it were me pushing into her from behind, if I used her like a thing to satisfy myself," Jay simultaneously asked and accused.
Todd didn't know what to say. He stood there staring at Jay.
Jay held his firm gaze for a bit before turning back to assess Mary. She seemed shell-shocked.
"Look I didn't want to be here hurling accusations at you all. We had a good evening and you all didn't have to attend the Black Lives Matter rally. That's good. My only point is we often think we are in a morally superior position and we are not. That is the point the speaker was making about the "good White people" in this moment. You don't have to be an overt racist it's bigger than that. Anyway, I didn't come to ruin your evening so I am going to head home." Jay said.
Mary looked at Todd, then at Jay, "wait...can I...can I give you a hug now?"
"You don't have to do that," Jay responded. "That wasn't my point."
"I know. I need to do it for me," Mary admitted.
Jay looked at the woman, he could tell his words had caused her embarrassment and shame. He moved toward her and embraced her. Her body crushed into his. He felt the swell of her D cups against him, the softness of her body. The only part of his body that was soft began to stiffen.
Mary felt Jay against her. His body was rock hard. Jay was a mountain of a man. His skin, so like chocolate, encased heavy muscles everywhere. Being this close his presence, his sheer manliness, was overwhelming. She felt herself melt into him. And then she felt him embrace her as well. He pulled her into himself.
Jay had started by letting her hug him but as he found himself growing he embraced Mary. He pulled her into his body. His thigh intertwined with hers and he knew she could feel him. His hand slipped down her back until he could curl his fingers around the heft of her ample backside.
Mary was at sensory overload. First the hardness of his muscles, the increased proximity, and the feeling of something growing down her leg that couldn't possibly still be growing...it should have stopped growing...it was too big. It couldn't be real what she was feeling.
Despite herself she let out a sigh or was it a moan. She wasn't sure.
"Jay, I'm sorry about all of this,"she apologized looking at the man who was now openly fondling her ass.
He flexed his hardness against her thigh, "it's ok, I know you really want to make things better and would do what you could for me if I needed you to."
