**Week 4**
When Ashley got back from the photo shoot, she immediately took another shower. The alcohol was firmly out of her system now and the enormity of what she had just done was beginning to sink in. She had just given a hand job to someone she'd just met. Someone who wasn't her boyfriend. She could still feel the heavy black cock in her hands. Still feel the slick oil and sticky cum on her skin. Conflicting thoughts were warring with her emotions.
She didn't feel dirty, exactly but she wanted to feel that feeling of renewal that came with taking a shower at the end of a long day. So, she took another shower and washed the remaining evidence of her indiscretion away. The hot water cascaded down her firm body and with it, some of her guilt. Although not all of it. She was equal parts excited and mortified about what she had just done.
"Just because it isn't cheating doesn't make it right." She told herself.
Her subconscious was already internalizing the rationale that Martel and Darius had fed her. Hand jobs aren't cheating, she reassured herself. There was no penetration so there should be no problem. She got out of the shower when her fingers had thoroughly pruned. Dried off and dressed only in a towel, she was walking out of the bathroom when the phone rang. Josh!
"Hi baby!" She said excitingly.
Her worries were wiped away in an instant. For the next half an hour she was a little school girl again, talking excitedly about anything and everything with her boyfriend. The campus, her classes, their trip to the beach over the summer, but mostly she talked about her new African Studies class. She didn't even realize she was doing it. No matter the topic, Ashley always found a way to bring the conversation around to African Studies.
"Wow, sounds like you're really digging this new class. I thought you were going to hate it." Josh said.
"I really am. The professor is really opening my eyes. I never knew how amazing black men were. Like, did you know that interracial porn is one of the fastest growing categories on the internet?"
"A-ah, no, I didn't know that." Josh said awkwardly.
"I know right. I'm learning so much this semester. Black men are so rugged and handsome. They're really setting the standard for sexual performance, you know." Ashley said.
"That's.... great, Ashley." She completely missed the awkward tone in his voice. "Anyway, I'll let you go. I need to do some homework. Love you."
"Bye Josh, I love you baby." She said.
The call ended and Ashley stared at her phone as he disconnected. There was that nagging feeling of guilt again. Despite going on and on about African Studies, she hadn't told Josh about the photo shoot. It shouldn't have been a big deal. She was just being a good white ally, right? She was just easing racial tensions, right? And it was for charity too boot, surly Josh would have understood. Yet, she hadn't told him and that weighed further on her conscious.
"This is ridiculous." She said to the empty room. "Martel and Darius already told me it wasn't cheating. I'll just make sure I tell him the next time I speak to him."
Josh's name faded away on the screen, to be replaced with a notification from Rebecca. Ashley tapped the icon and looked at the photo she'd just sent. The first thing she noticed was that Rebecca's figure was starting to really trim down. A lot of the baby fat she'd had a few weeks ago was gone. Ashley was impressed and took a moment to run her eyes down the brunettes rapidly slimming mid-section. Although Rebecca's figure probably shouldn't have been the first thing she noticed in the picture.
I'm really starting to understand the point of this class ;)
Rebecca texted.
In the photo, the curvy brunette knelt on the ground in a darkened room. Her auburn hair was ruffled and she had a carefree smile plastered on her face. She was also naked and holding a black cock mere inches from her mouth. The worry free look on her face irritated Ashley.
"Little slut took a selfie with it." Ashley said.
If the cum coating her lips and chin were any indication, Rebecca had gone a lot farther than Ashley had in her photo shoot. Ashley found herself wondering what sucking a black cock must be like. The image of Darius popped into her head and Ashley was suddenly jealous that one of the other girls might have gotten to suck Darius's beautiful cock before she did. Then Josh popped into her head and she had to reminded herself that giving a blowjob to another man was most definitely cheating.
"Fuck. I need to get my head on straight." She said.
Try not to bite off more than you can swallow, girl.
She texted back.
Too late!
Came the response from Rebecca.
Ashley snorted in response and put her phone back on the charger. It had been a long night and Ashley was exhausted. She turned out the lights and climbed into bed. Despite her worries she was tired and soon drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
She wasn't so lucky the next night. No matter how hard she tried Ashley couldn't sleep.
After tossing and turning for hours she decided she had to do something to tire herself out. Going to the gym sounded like it would be the best way to work out some of her stress. She slipped on a pair of bright pink workout booty shorts and a matching sports bra. Her blond hair went up in a no nonsense pony tail. She finished by grabbing her pink water bottle and left her dorm. She kept her spade piercing in. Ashley was growing rather fond of it. It felt wrong every time she took it out to clean it. It was almost like she was meant to wear it.
It was late. Well past midnight. She didn't see anyone out as she walked to the campus gym. She nervously eyed the dark alleys for anyone lurking in the dark shadows. She unconsciously looked for the telltale blue glow of the emergency call boxes scattered throughout campus. Ashley scanned her ID card at the door when she arrived and heard the click of the door unlocking. The gym on campus was open 24 hours as long as you had your student ID card to get in but it was only manned until 8. Automatic lights clicked on overhead as she walked through the main room and past the deserted front desk. The lights only kicked on in her immediate vicinity, creating a pool of light that cast the rest of the room in shadow.
Ashley walked over to the large selection of cardio equipment. She put her airpods in and started the treadmill. She set the machine to a higher speed than normal and began to run. The burn of her muscles settled her into the perfect state of mind to think.
She thought about the class and everything she had learned. She thought about the guilt she felt as those horrible images came across the screen. She thought about all of Sara's talks about her responsibilities and her increasing desire to do something meaningful.
She liked the idea of becoming a white ally but she was also deeply conflicted. More had happened at that photo shoot than she was prepared for. There would be pictures of her naked floating around campus soon. Hundreds of Black men would soon be using her as little more than jerk off material. She should be horrified at the thought but more and more, it was making her excited. She wanted to make a deference for the cause and now thanks to Martel's camera she had been reduced to little more than an object of desire.
She wasn't sure how she should feel about that. She thought about what Josh would say if he found out. When he found out, Ashley corrected herself. His girlfriend's tits can only adorn the walls of so many dorm rooms before it inevitably filtered back to him. She didn't want to think about what would happen then. She decided she didn't want to think anymore and let the steady rhythm of her running and the burning of her muscles drive away her worries.
Ashley was completely preoccupied with listening to a song when something caught her attention. She jumped as a large black figure emerged out of a darkened hallway. A momentary spike of fear coursed through her. Then the light overhead clicked on and Ashley recognized the man.
