"Hey! Watch where you're going douchebag!" I yelled at the green Jetta honking its horn and almost knocking me off of my feet. "Good grief it's a college campus, pedestrians have the right away." Nicky looks at me and chuckles.
"What?" I inquire.
"Did you really just say good grief?"
"What's wrong with good grief?"
"I swear sometimes you're so corny it's unbelievable."
After months of hanging out with the troublesome trio my naiveté still poked through. Being the youngest and most inexperienced seemed to be a novelty that was wearing thin on me.
"You know I'm not as green as I seem. I do stuff...and things. Mostly stuff but sometimes things."
"Oh I know, I mean, that shot gun with D, that was definitely not green. More like red. Muy Caliente." At this point I was very thankful my mocha colored skin couldn't reveal a change in color or else I'd be deep red in blush.
"Yeah I don't even remember if I actually inhaled, but I definitely got high."
For the past 3 months I've spent almost every night at Nicky's hoping for another "moment". In the early morning hours when Tony and Nicky were still passed out from the previous night adventures, I would lay on the sofa and watch D as he'd rise for his daily wake and bake. Peering past the couch cushion I study him as he separated the fragrant herb and load it into the bong nestled safely between his legs. The light would filter through the blinds of the tiny window and dance along his skin. My eyes feast on the image of him slowly inhaling and tilting his head back to enjoy the privacy of morning delight. He slowly relented the smoke from his lungs, savoring every whisper as it released into the atmosphere. Watching D smoke was enticing. He made it seem spiritual, sacred, beautiful.
I remember one morning in particular; I awoke to the sound of chirping birds, groggily I turned to see evidence of dawn stream through a partially open window. I love Nicki, but this ridiculous obsession with the beauty of nature kills any notion of sleeping in. As I watched the morning fog hug the ground I could hear pieces of a private conversation. Well, there's no such thing as a private conversation in a public courtyard, but still I shouldn't eavesdrop. Although, I am just innocently laying here, it's not my fault if their talking too loud. Actually I could complain but I'm going to be courteous and just ignore them instead, kind of.
As I lie there trying NOT to hear the conversation, my ears perk up when I hear a familiar cough. Oh it's just Tony and D, waking and baking no doubt, having intense philosophical morning observations over.
"No--I can't-it's complicated--". I can only catch snippets of the conversation but it's the person saying it that gets me out of the bed and close to the window. Here goes all plausible deniability, I say to myself as I sit under the window to listen.
"So you gonna tell her?"
"Tell her what? I don't even know what to say."
"Gotta tell her something"
"Listen man Talias cool and all, but she's young and I just can't handle what she would want from me right now."
"Sounds like a copout" Tony coughs out as he exhales.
"Maybe it is, just another reason to let this go."
"Well-" Tony says as I hear him stand up and brush away whatever ash that fell on his pants. "whatever you do try not to cock it up too much, or Nicky is gonna be pissed with you AND me."
I quickly return to the bed, pretending to be deep in slumber I hear the door open and their heavy footsteps enter the room. Listening to the familiar click of the television turning on I think about the conversation I just heard. Is it really because I'm too young? That can't be the only reason, at least he thinks I'm "cool and all". I need to get over this thing, it's not like he's the only guy in the world, I can do so much better. I try to fall back asleep as the sound of Team America fills the air, and they call me the immature ones.
"Well, be careful." Nicky warned snapping me back to the present "I don't want your family thinking I got you mixed up with some bad shit and shit people. D is a good person, but he always seem to be in fucked up situations."
"You're acting like I'm in love with him or something." My stomach flipped as I said the word love. "We're just friends. Whatever moment we had was fleeting, and boy did it flee, special thanks to Tony and his incredible timing for munchies. How do you deal with him just leaving and disappearing for the rest of the night?"
"Tony does what he do. I'm not his wife, and I'm barely his girlfriend. Unless he burns me I don't care what he does." She smiled as she recited what seemed like something she repeats to herself whenever she felt down. There was a sadness in her smile and I realized, she likes Tony a lot more than she wanted to. I felt for Nicky, I know from recent experience how it is to feel for someone more than they feel for you. Also Tony is an asshole, no one wants to be in love with an asshole.
It wasn't all his fault, Tony grew up a gorgeous shaggy haired blond boy in a median household in a comfortable and safe neighborhood. He lived the hard life of being loved by everyone despite having a smart mouth that gets him into trouble, more than it gets him out. All the girls wanted him and all he wanted was to fade, get paid, and get laid. Which is what he had until an ex-girlfriend got knocked up and he was stuck with a kid and a bill. So what does a gorgeous boy whose mother named him after the patron Saint of lost things, a saint known to the Catholic religion as; a steady courage to face the ups and downs of life, the call to love and forgive, to be concerned for the needs of others and deal with crisis great and small, do in this situation? He runs. Far, and fast. But he did return, eventually, and did the right thing. Checked on his son, made sure he was well cared for, but the best gift Tony could give his son was his absence.
Nicky knew about Tony's past, and his child, I believe that's what sealed her fate and her heart for him. Being from a close knit family she wanted it all, house, kids, husband. But she couldn't take Tony to her parents, they would curse him so much in spanish that he may actually understand what they're saying. But she stayed on his terms, flexibility was the theme of their relationship. It didn't stop her heart from aching whenever he skipped out for 3 days or stagger through her door drunk at 2 in the morning. I think the reason she parties so much is to keep up with him. She had one hell of a job in store for her.
As we cross the street a black Honda pulls up on the side as a man jumps out the car and grabs Nicky from behind
"Get in the car." The gruff voice demanded. Nicky turned around and slapped Tony upside the head.
"You burro!" she yells at him as she continues to slap him.
"Okay, okay, sorry, it was a joke!" He chuckled grabbing her "I knew I could scare you."
"You didn't scare me I was trained to kick guys in the nuts, my papa didn't raise no fool."
"Okay wild one, get in the car we're going to get a movie. Come on Nat."
I weigh the decision of homework or fun before deciding it's too close to finals to take chances and reply "Nah that's okay I have an essay to finish."
"Aw come on Natalia-" Nicky whined "you can finish there."
"You know I can't concentrate at your place, I can hang out tomorrow if I finish it
tonight." I reasoned with her.
"I can help you if you want?" A familiar voice spoke up "you know if you want to finish it tonight, I'm pretty good with literature and I can edit the hell out of a paper." Hearing D's voice sent a familiar tingle down my spine.
