CHAPTER 3: NO STRINGS PLEASURE
Halfway through the next week, I wanted to call Travis, again. Two glorious nights he had fucked me. Here I was again wanting more. I never imagined a cock could feel that way. That one could be so big! I spent more than a few hours on the internet at women's informational advice sites curious about positions ... and sucking cock. Watching clips to see positions and what sex can be like only made my need for his cock that much more powerful. Not to mention the discussions about deep-throating cock. It's real. Who knew? Certainly not me. Now I wanted to try that, too.
What was this all about, though? What did I expect from this? What did HE expect from this? WHY was this happening? Thinking about it all just reaffirmed my lack of interest in a serious relationship leading to marriage. I was good with my career. I was happy and challenged in my career. I did, though, recognize a substantial void in my life. A void that was surprising while very powerful. I really ... REALLY ... enjoyed and wanted sex with someone like Travis. Travis. Someone considerate and attentive. Someone, undeniably, with a big cock. Someone who could fuck my brains out. That's Travis. Again ... how does this work?
* * * *
"Travis?" I decided to take action myself and stop fussing about it. I called him. "We need to talk."
"Talk?" I could hear the nervousness in his voice. "Oh oh ... listen, Tessa ... if this is you not wanting ..."
"No ... God, no," I exclaimed in interruption. "Please, we just need to talk." I gave him my address and we quickly agreed on a day and time.
* * * *
I paced nervously in the living room as the appointed time crept closer. In my mind, it seemed important to have him come to my home, my home turf. I was dressed in jeans and an old Dolphins t-shirt. Despite the blatant nature of the subject matter I need us to discuss, I wanted my appearance to be neutral.
When the front doorbell initiated its chime sequence, I visibly flinched. I greeted him at the door. He commented on the house while inspecting what he could see from the foyer. No familiar hug. Certainly, no passionate kiss. I held the door open for him, closed it behind him, and led him into the living room. I indicated the loveseat for him and took a nearby chair for myself. Separated. I needed a message of control for what I wanted to clarify.
"What's going on, Tessa?" he began as he settled. "If this is about wanting to stop ..."
I held up my hand to stop him and he did. "I don't want to stop, Travis. You're amazing. You've led me to experiences I never imagined and I find myself wanting more of the same and more experiences beyond those. What I don't want is misunderstandings, disappointment, or someone being hurt. I also don't want to feel selfish." He opened his mouth and I, again, held up my hand. "Let me finish. I have to get this out while I have the courage." He nodded and settled back, crossing one ankle over the knee of the other. Even trying to appear relaxed and patient, he still appeared to me as an imposing presence in my living room. The pullover shirt with his gym logo fit well on his well-developed chest.
I started, again. "I want us to understand each other." He nodded. I talked about my job and how satisfying, fulfilling, challenging, and important it was to me. I told him how I was afraid of that being threatened. I confessed how much of a void I had been suppressing without knowing that I was. A void I came to recognize because of him. A void I wanted to be filled.
"But, Travis," I took a breath, "what I learned from my divorce is I don't want another relationship, at least in the foreseeable future. I was tremendously hurt by that and I don't want to subject myself to that, again. Not now, anyway." I watched his facial expression and body for reaction. My profession had trained me to be aware of slight tells in a person. The only tell I could see was a slight curling of his mouth upward, his eyes still holding me. That restrained smile bothered me. What did it mean? Did it indicate an excuse he needed to end it himself?
He dropped his eyes to the floor between us. He was obviously thinking and, despite his efforts, the smile grew. "Travis ... what does that smile mean?"
"Sorry, Tessa." The next pause killed me. My heart dropped like a rock. Was he ending it just like that? It was always a risk, but ... "I was balancing your comments and concerns with my own." He shifted his weight forward until his forearms were pressed onto his knees. "We're in amazing sync, Tessa. There has been something about you, maybe your unabashed excitement to experience what is new to you, that has been extremely arousing and exciting for me and has me as excited to be with you as you seem to want to be with me. But," his eyes focused like lasers on mine, "our unique gym model is at the point that it looks like it will take off and we can expand to new locations. Like you, I'm reluctant to want a romance that might divert me."
My heart began to swell with hope and expectation. "So ...?"
"You want to continue to experience what we've been doing." I nodded. "And more." I nodded with more enthusiasm. His smile grew. His eyes moved over my body. Just that excited me. "No strings, then." I nodded with a growing smile. "We explore sex in widening forms without relationship complications." I was nodding, yes. "What you're wanting is for me to direct you?"
My eyebrows scrunched and my head changed direction in shaking. "No," I firmly stated. "If you mean that I blindly obey, no. I am definitely not a submission personality, Travis. Guide me, yes. I've trusted you, Travis. As long as I do, as long as you show me I can trust you to keep me safe, not be hurt, or my other life threatened, I will follow your lead. But I can't give up control. It just isn't me."
He leaned back wearing a big smile. "Good," he responded. "Good. I respect that you know what you want and you want to protect what is important to you." He was studying me. He was deciding something. I hadn't realized how anxious I was to know the outcome of this. I had moved to the edge of the chair I sat on. "Where would this go, Tessa? How far would this go?"
I gazed back at him intently. "That's the thing, isn't it? I'm the neophyte. I don't know what there is. I don't know where it might go. As long as there is trust, I'll want to consider anything."
I watched him relax on the couch wearing a growing smile. "Stand up, Tessa," he suddenly said. I did it quickly. "Strip." Excitedly, I began pulling off my clothes. I had pushed my jeans down and stepped one foot out of them when he spoke, again. "That's why this has been so exciting for me." I paused, naked except for my small panties and one foot still tangled in my jeans. "An otherwise controlled, confident, and very attractive woman desiring to unleash herself in the exploration of erotic discovery." I matched his smile. He understood.
I pulled my foot from my jeans and kicked them to the side. He watched me as I pushed my panties off my hips and let them fall to the floor. I stood completely naked in my living room before this handsome, exciting black man who was accepting the role of leading me into new and exciting sexual experiences. A shiver coursed through me, my nipples instantly hardened, and my pussy flooded in anticipation.
I stood before him anxious and very aroused. I had willingly and eagerly gotten naked for him. I had never been naked in the house except in the bedroom suite. Now, I stood naked in the living room because this exciting man desired it. Our eyes were locked on each other and for a moment I didn't notice anything else. Then, I caught the movement lower. He was undoing his belt, and zipper, and pushing his slacks and underwear lower. My eyes fixed on his exposed cock, I knelt at his knees and began loving it with my tongue, lips, and mouth.
I was lost in the action. It was only a fleeting recognition, one that I would explore more thoughtfully later, but this wasn't sucking cock, this was LOVING his cock. I was only in the moment with my mouth on it. Would he stop me once he was ready to fuck me? Or, would he let me taste his cum, again? Another recognition came to me: I wanted his cum and whether it was in my pussy or mouth, it was equally desirable.
When I felt a tap on my cheek, it took a moment for my brain to push past the devotional attitude of his cock on my tongue and moving through my lips. I pulled back so only the bulbous head remained in my mouth and raised my eyes to his face. I could read the lustful need there and immediately knew the answer to my musing: he wanted to cum in my pussy.
I pulled my mouth off and assisted him in stripping. He remained slouched on the couch, his big black cock all but calling to me to mount. Without hesitation or consideration, that was my immediate move. I started placing my knees on either side of his hips when he stopped me. Confused in my sex-fogged brain, I merely followed his gentle touch to turn me so my butt was toward him. Another new experience I would learn to call reverse cowgirl.
I shuffled back until my calves touched the couch with my legs on either side of his. I bent over and crouched back, reaching to find the cock he held up. I took it from him and moved the head over my lowering pussy, located my dripping hole, and inched down over it. Again, like always, I gasped at the penetration and each inch more that I took inside me by rising and lowering. Already feeling the fullness of his cock, I peeked underneath and smiled. I only had half of his fuck shaft inside me. I had been inching down but I knew I could take all of it so I rose up slightly and relaxed the tension in my legs, falling down the rest of his shaft and smacking against his thighs.
"Shit," he exclaimed. "Oh ... fuck ... you wench!"
