Paige lay sprawled on the sofa in her living room, exhausted after a long, and infuriating, day at work. Her boss, a slimy pervert of a guy she and the other women in the office secretly called Mr. Douchecanoe, had been up to his usual tricks. It wasn't uncommon for him to grope the women in the office on a daily basis, and he was well known for his raunchy, sexist jokes that he shared with the other guys in the office. Unfortunately for Paige, Mr. Douchecanoe often singled her out for extra doses of harassment, possibly because she was the only married woman in the office.
"Well that's just fan-fucking-tastic..." she grumbled as she dialed her husband's mobile phone for the fourth time, "right to fucking voicemail- again!"
Paige didn't bother leaving a message; she knew her husband would say it was her fault that she was getting harassed. Her husband thought she should be at home with a gaggle of kids, instead of having a career. After 8 years of marriage, she was beginning to wonder more frequently what she ever saw in her husband in the first place. Besides, she was almost positive he was having an affair; his 'business trips' seemed to come more frequently and last much longer than they had in the past.
"Fuck both of them," she thought, "there's a bottle of wine in the kitchen with my name on it. I'm going to get wasted and enjoy my night."
Paige strolled into the kitchen, retrieving the wine (sans glass) and made her way to the bathroom, whereupon she filled the tub with the hottest water she could stand and a half-bottle's worth of her favorite bubble bath. Her husband thought the bubble bath was more fitting to fragrance a whore house, so Paige used it as a big 'fuck you' towards him.
As the bathroom filled with the scent of hibiscus and green tea, Paige stripped in front of the mirror. The steamy surface of the mirror blurred her outline, but she knew she looked good, with her pixie short auburn hair, gray eyes, and near perfect hourglass figure. She thought she could stand to lose a few pounds (as many women do), though she supposed there was no reason to make the effort, since her husband hadn't touched her in months and she wasn't looking for attention from anyone else.
Paige sighed contentedly as she slid into the water, taking a very unladylike swig from her wine bottle. As she sipped and soaked, she was getting a little giddy from the combination of alcohol and heat, so much so that she began goofing around with the bubbles in the water. She ended up giving herself a very classy bubble goatee and matching mohawk, the thought of which had her giggling so hard she decided to take a picture. Then she had a terrible, yet hilarious, idea. She rinsed off, grabbed her fluffy robe, and made her way to the bed, where her laptop was charging on the night stand.
Paige opened up her laptop in private mode, typing in the name of a chat site she went to that her husband didn't know about. She'd made a few friends and had a couple online flings in the last couple months, though nothing serious. She made them laugh with her silly jokes and the cheerful personality she hid at home, and they were there for her whenever she needed cheering up or an ear to vent to. As the site opened up, she posted the picture, sipping some more wine as she waited for her friends to comment.
waterwolfie: LMAOOOO!! What the fuck did you do to yourself Paige?
Blank_Paige: haha the usual, wine and a kick ass bubble bath.
TriXXieViXXy: wooooowww hello there gorgeous! ;)
Blank_Paige: *muah* thanx TriX! Though flattery isn't going to convince me to be your lezzy lover. Nice try though hun.
TriXXieViXXy: *pouts* aww but I'd treat you soooo good. Btw, any new gossip on Douchecanoe or your stuck-in-the-1950's hubs?
Blank_Paige: Douchecanoe is still a douchecanoe, and pretty sure hubs is havin an affair.
waterwolfie: want me to come kick some ass? I need to practice my judo anyway.
Blank_Paige: thanks, but I'll stick to ignoring them and self medicating with bubble baths and my bff Chardonnay.
