I hate Halloween. There, I said it. I hate Halloween because when you are a black girl there aren't too many things you can choose to be. The little white girls could always be Daphne from Scooby Doo, or a princess from whatever Disney film was popular at the time. Not me, I think I may have been a witch a few times, a ghost, and a clown. No Disney for me. As I grew a little older, I found that being short and halfway between thin and fat didn't yield a whole lot more choices...but I digress. Halloween is meant to be a time when you can cut loose, have fun and pretend to be who you want to be. Last year I got talked into going to the office party by my friend, Karen. She begged me for three weeks until I finally just agreed to go so that she would shut up.
"Fine!" I huffed at lunch. "Whatever! Will you just stop fucking talking about it? Please?" I took a bite of my sandwich and chewed thoughtfully trying to figure out what last minute costume I could wrangle one day before the party. Christ.
"Hey, Ladies!" Will Richards sauntered up to the table leaned over and gave Karen a long once over, but barely paid any attention to me. That was fine though, there is no love lost between us. It has been understood since our first day together that we would most certainly never be friends. It has everything to do with Will insinuating that I got my job position either because of affirmative action or because I slept with the boss. Neither of which is true...I have had a great deal of experience in the architectural world and I am an excellent designer who has known what I wanted to do since I was nine years old.
I realized of course it would be a long hard row as there are few women and even fewer women of color in my field, but it stung to know that my credientials were still being called into question even now at the age of 32. I had let Will know at the time with a few carefully selected words that his accusations were unfounded and untrue and if I heard rumors floating around the office to the contrary I would make sure he was repremanded and then fired. The rumors that I had been hired on my back or because I'm black stopped right away. However, the rumors that I am a frigid bitch started with a vengance and have persisted for the past three years. I can honestly say that I don't know which one was more mortifying, but I do know that it has been a very long time since I have had an encounter with anything other than my hand. Not that I would have slept with any of the uptight white guys in the office anyway.
"So I was thinking of coming as a naughty french maid, but that has been so overdone," Karen tittered, breaking into my thoughts. "You'll just have to wait and see what I come as." She coyly tipped her adorable little blonde head to the side rubbed her fingers along the expensive looking pearls around her neck and gave him her sexiest lopsided grin. He gave her what I was sure was his most heartbreaking smile. There was a reason all the ladies in the office threw themselves at him. As much as he infuriated me I had to admit that he was charming and very handsome. If you like movie star good looks.
"What are you coming as?" Will tunred to me with cold blue eyes. Should that color ever belong to someone's eyes? Should the Caribbean Sea really be starring out at me on an October Denver afternoon that was so cold it actually made my bones ache? I pulled my blazer around me to ward off the sudden chill I felt. Did the temperature in the room just drop a few degrees suddenly? He blinked at me waiting for an answer to a question that I was sure I had let too many moments pass before I finally answered.
"Pocahontas. I'm going as Pocahontas." Where in the world did that come from? My voice rang with a lot more conviction than I had felt, and I was glad. I hate to appear unsure in front of anyone, but especially in front of Will Richards.
"Really?" he lifted a thick eyebrow and his mouth smirked. How I wanted to slap his face. That man really knew how to rile me up.
"Really." I answered. I pushed my chair back and stood. Karen watched me with amused eyes and a grin.
"Excuse me," I said pushing past Will to get to the trashbin. My breast brushed against his upper arm and I felt like I had been shocked. You know the kind; the walking-across-a-carpet-in-wool-socks kind of shock. I sucked my breath through my teeth and found Will's gaze on me again. "I said excuse me." I said a little more forcefully. Why didn't he just go?
"I'll see you later," Will mumbled and practically ran out of the room.
"I wish you two would just get it over with," Karen said as the breakroom door shut with a bang.
"What the Thrilla in Manilla between Will and me?" I said bending to pick up the paper bag I had tossed and missed getting into the basket. "There will be no contest. He would kick my ass soundly, but I wouldn't go down with out a fight." I balled up my fists and pretended to dance around an imaginary boxing ring.
"No. I wish you two would just fuck and get it over with. The tension is so thick one could cut it with a knife." I stopped moving and let out a noisy breath.
"Bullshit," I drawled. "there is nothing but mutal hate and distrust between Will and me. You know that." Better than anyone, I finished in my head.
"I know what I see, Ella." She folded her hand on the table in front of her and kept that grin stretched over her perfect teeth.
"I have a proposal to finish," My voice sounded tight and weird. It might have had something to do witht the fact that it was taking everything I had not to slap this bitch silly.
"See you tomorrow. I'll pick you up?" Karen was looking at her hands, not directly at me.
"Yeah." I walked out the door before I could do something stupid and walked to back to my drafting table, and quickly drew the pattern for my Pocahontas costume.
I was lying face down on the bed, My head lay on my numb arm and I clutched the costume I had been working on through the night and most of that day in the other hand. I lifted my head and looked for a few seconds at the clock next to my bed before the time registered. Seven o'clock? Fuck! I was running late! I gave Karen a quick call and let her know that I was going to be a little late to the party. I assured her I would drive myself and hurried to the shower and wrapped a towel around my hair to keep the moisture off. I didn't have time to fuck around trying to blow it dry.
I jumped out, brushed my extentions until they shone and braided my hair into one long plait down my back. I lined my almond shaped eyes with kohl liner in a thick line on the top of each eyelid. I liked the smoky, sexy look and gave myself a smile. I used a bit of mascara to lenghthen my lashes, and used the deepest red I could find to shape and fill in my full lips. I looked pretty hot if I did say so myself. I gave myself another smile, then slid my dress over my head. I didn't bother with underwear because I doubted that Pocahontas had worn them anyway. I pulled on my old college moccasins, drew an armband on with a marker and put on my bigest hoop earrings. Okay, so they weren't authentic, but they looked really good.
I took one long last look in the mirror and had to say the effect was stunning. My chocolate brown skin glowed next to the lighter tan ultrasuede I had been planning to make a blouse out of before this party had been sprung on me. I hadn't had much time, but with a bit of creativity, a hot glue gun, and some turquoise jewlery, I had definitely made a gorgeous outfit. The dress was altered beautifully and clung to my curves. I had wasted enough time admiring myself. I grabbed my other concesion, a small tan suede purse, and ran out the door, freezing as I ran to the car.
I shivered though the first fifteen minutes of the drive, cursing myself because I hadn't thought to bring a coat, but as it warmed up, and the radio station I was listening to began to play better music, I was just fine. I pulled up to the trendy restaurant/bar my coworkers had selected as our party destination and put on a fresh coat of lipstick. I was ready.
I dashed from my car to the bar, letting the valet take my silver BMW away, and stepped inside to find the place packed. The smoky room made it a little hard to see, but as I stepped up to the bar, I saw a few appreciative glances come my way. I ordered a vodka tonic and stood talking to a tall brother dressed as Austin Powers. We laughed together for a half hour until Karen finally found me.
"Where have you been?" She demanded.
"I think that's pretty obvious," I said with a laugh in my voice.
"Everyone's waiting for you and Will to get here. I found you, but I have no idea where he is. Come on, El, the boss is buying, you better hurry before he changes his mind." I sighed and rolled my eyes at my former companion. He laughed and kissed me on the cheek.
I reluctantly walked away, but not before Austin shoved his phone number into my hand. And yes, his name really was Austin. I winked at him, and turned away to face Karen, who had indeed come as a french maid. I didn't say anything, but when she saw me eye her costume she smiled.
"I didn't have time to come up with something else, but it looks sexy, n'est pas?" She did a little curtsey just as another french maid walked past. The glower on her face made me laugh out loud, and she finally smiled. "I told you it was overdone." She shrugged and led me to the table where the rest of the office sat having drinks in silence. I noticed was that Will was nowhere to be seen. I sat down and gave a smile to everyone, but I was wishing that I could be back at the bar talking to that fine man. Karen launched into some crazy story about her last trip to Greece that started the table laughing. I sat back drinking three tall glasses of vodka tonics until I started to loosen up. Soon I was telling a few stories of my own.
I was killing them until Will, dressed as Neo from the Matrix, walked up to the table and took the seat next to me. I was in the middle of a classic about my trip to Paris when I faultered and gulped. The fitted bodice of the cossack showed off his slim torso and made me realize he wasn't as skinny as I had thought in the first place. His hair had the same dark inkyness that Keanu Reeves had. He looked incredible. I stared at him until he gave my braid a friendly tug and told me to continue.
I finished up the story, but the rhythm of the storytelling was off, so the ending fell flat. there were just a few chuckles when I told how my dress had blown up over my head in the middle of the Champs-Elysee. I sensed that now was the time for me to get up. I excused myself and went to the ladies room. What the hell had just happened to me?
"Will looks fucking hot!" Karen called to me while I was in the stall. She was touching up her makeup.
"I guess," I answered.
"Ella, it wouldn't kill you to admit that you're into him."
"You know, it probably would. And for the record, I'm not into him." I stepped out to wash my hands. "That asshole has had it in for me since day one. I think you are projecting your feelings for him onto me, and I wish you would stop."
