My fingers slide through the condensation on a bottle of Corona as I stand on the deck gazing out at the activity in the backyard. A flock of cockatoos take flight against a horizon streaked with brilliant reds and oranges, the colours overlaid with strands of wispy clouds. The evening breeze carries the aroma of barbecued meat and the faint thumping of bass from another party down the street.
Beth, Lucas and I share an old four bedroom house with a large yard that overlooks the lake. The town always puts on a fireworks show above the water on New Year's Eve. Our low-lying fence means we have an uninterrupted view of the crowd and the show itself, without actually having to go anywhere. All of our closest friends come along each year, with most of them staying over to avoid having to drive home.
Our barbecue dinner finished a while ago so now everyone's just letting loose and enjoying themselves. It makes me smile hearing their raised voices and laughter. It's all fairly tame right now but if the parties we've had in the past are anything to go by, I know it's going to become raucous later.
The breeze and setting sun are doing their part to cool what's been an uncomfortably hot day. I'm wearing a light blue sundress with thin straps and a stretchy bodice, the loose skirt allowing air to swirl around my legs. I've decided to forgo a bra and shoes in exchange for comfort, with my long blonde hair piled on top of my head for the same reason.
I lift the bottle in my hand and take a sip, feeling a presence beside me just as I swallow. I've become so aware of him lately that I know who it is without even having to turn my head. He must have dipped inside the house before I came up here to grab a drink.
"Ellie," Lucas says, confirming my suspicion. "What's going on? Why are you up here when everyone else is down there?"
Our yard slopes from the deck with most of the action taking place in the lower section on the grass. Earlier in the day we filled a couple of wading pools with the garden hose and a few of the guests are either sitting on chairs with their legs dangling over the side or actually in the water with their drinks. Some are wearing bathing suits; others have stripped down to their underwear.
"Just taking it all in," I say, avoiding looking at him while I sip from the bottle. Once I make eye contact with him I know he'll start turning on the sizzle because that's all he's been doing these past couple of weeks. No matter how much I try to ignore him my resistance weakens each time.
He stands a head taller than me, with messy brown hair and an athletic body. His eyes are the colour of espresso and his voice is smooth and deep, often sending little shivers of pleasure through me. I'm not giving in, though, regardless of how many playful, inviting looks he throws my way. He's Beth's boyfriend so that makes him off limits as far as I'm concerned. I just wish he felt the same about the situation because it would make living together a lot easier.
"You look hot tonight," he says.
I feel like closing my eyes and sighing but I force myself to meet his gaze. "Lucas, don't."
He's wearing a black tank top and khaki shorts, his feet bare like mine. He looks so carelessly gorgeous it inspires awe along with the desire I've become so familiar with these days.
He stares at me and raises one questioning brow, just that simple action causing my pulse to hammer. The usual tension hums between us, but he still manages to crack a smile as if it has no effect on him. "I mean you actually look hot. Your cheeks are pink."
They grow even warmer at the realisation that I've just taken him all wrong and given the impression that I think I'm irresistible. "Oh. Sorry."
He nudges my bare shoulder with his, the kiss of his warm skin against mine making me want to lean in to him to maintain the connection. "Maybe you should take off your dress," he says.
Despite my discomfort, I snort at his suggestion. "You're an idiot."
He grins and relieves me of my beer. While I stand there glaring at him open-mouthed, he takes a long swallow of my drink then points the bottle at me. "Seriously, Ellie," he says, licking an errant droplet from his lower lip, "when are you going to stop fighting it?"
The sight of his tongue takes my attention, and the knowledge that his mouth has now shared the same space as mine gives me a strange little thrill. "You mean the heat?"
"Yeah, the heat—between us," he adds. His gaze sweeps over me just once, but it has enough of an impact that it leaves me feeling naked.
The conversation feels all wrong to be having out here in the open, but there isn't really anywhere appropriate to talk about whatever it is the two of us have going on. Up until now we've only shared glances and lingering touches; neither of us has brought the subject up in conversation. Now it's out there, we'll never be able to pretend the attraction doesn't exist again.
My attention flits about the yard, and I briefly wonder if anyone has noticed us standing here together. I shift my blue eyes back to Lucas, keeping them on him while I try to figure out what to say. His mouth twitches at one corner while he watches me. It gives me the impression he finds my awkwardness amusing, which wouldn't surprise me at all.
"Tell you what," he finally says, leaning over to deposit the empty bottle on the trestle table we had the food set out on earlier. "I'll just lay it all out there, okay?"
My heart pounds and my stomach lurches. The look in his eyes tells me that once he's voiced whatever thoughts are going through his mind right now, there won't be any turning back. I don't know if I want to run away or beg him to tell me, but my feet remain rooted to the spot regardless.
"Okay," I say. My voice comes out like a squeak, which only further increases his amusement.
He reaches out to me. I force myself not to flinch as his warm hand slides over my collarbone and curves around the back of my neck. He smiles as he leans in close, his thumb rubbing softly against the pulse in my throat.
"I want you," he says, "and I know you want me, so... tonight's the night."
"What?" I ask, swallowing against the excitement rising inside me. I should be pushing him away, telling him to leave me alone and stop being such an ass, but the slightest of smiles crosses his face and it makes my knees tremble. "Tonight? What do you mean?"
He flicks a glance over my shoulder then gazes directly into my eyes. "When the fireworks are taking everyone's attention later, I'm going to take you."
A feeling of recklessness tears through me, rendering me speechless. The look on his face sends a bolt of heat rushing straight between my legs. I want him. God, I want him so much. The intensity in his dark eyes, the confidence in his words... it would be cocky and annoying coming from anyone else. From him, it leaves me filled with desperation and aching for more.
"You can't," I say, feeling like I'm just putting up token resistance at this point, which then makes me feel terrible for being such a poor excuse for a friend. "Beth. She'll—"
His fingertips stroke the nape of my neck as he leans in and presses his mouth to my temple. His lips are warm and soft, lingering there while his scent, his nearness and the promise of things to come make me want to moan and fall into him.
"I can, Ells, and I will. Later," he says, his deep voice tinged with humour.
I want to ask him how he's able to find this situation so entertaining when I'm just barely stopping myself from tearing off my dress and throwing myself at him, but his closeness overloads my senses and I can't string two words together. I open my mouth and stare at him, unsure if I'm inviting him to kiss me or hoping a coherent sentence might accidentally fall out.
He slides his fingertip along my jawline, causing me to let out a shuddering sigh. Our gazes mesh. He gives me one long look then smiles and walks away without a backward glance, leaving me standing there with a thundering heart and damp panties.
* * * * *
I can't keep my eyes off him. What used to be an attraction mostly kept under control with avoidance has now taken on a life of its own. It pushes me to seek him out among the guests and watch his every move in the hope that the next one will bring him closer to me.
Whenever he sends me one of those barely-there smiles, I feel like agreeing to anything he suggests regardless of how much it might hurt my friend. The thought of him actually following through on his promise leaves me feeling on edge and unable to focus. I need to snap out of it or people are going to start wondering what's wrong with me.
"Ellie?"
"Hmm?" I shift my gaze from Lucas to Beth, experiencing the now familiar stab of guilt every time I make eye contact with her.
"I said what's going on? It's like you're off somewhere else at the moment." She grabs my hands and links her fingers with mine, pulling me against her as we dance a little way off from the main action of the party.
We're standing beneath the cover of a towering eucalyptus tree with the sound of birds stirring in the leaves overhead. It's around nine o'clock now but the sun is still shining. Our bodies are so close that her breasts press to mine and her warmth radiates through the thin fabric of her yellow dress. It feels nice.
