Renting a Room

I was feeling on top of the world after great sex with three loving women when a scream from the bathroom interrupted the good vibes.

"There is no hot water!"

I hollered back and found my way to the basement. Three women who needed to wash me out of them with no hot water was big trouble. It was dark down there and the ancient water heater was in a corner. I had been here before but couldn't remember what the problem was last time.

On my knees on the dirty floor, I discovered the pilot light was out. A few minutes later I was holding a long match to the burner and watching it flare to life. Thank god for small favors.

I scrambled up the stairs to the kitchen to find Maggie staring at me. Before I could say anything, she poked a finger into my chest, "You are a dear. I forgot to tell you everything in the basement needs to be replaced."

She had a terry robe and felt wonderful in my arms. "Maggie, this gift is looking more expensive by the minute. How am I going to survive with tenants who don't pay rent and grandparents who have moved to Oregon!"

"Now, now. I've got us a reservation at a good restaurant. We'll talk about the basement later."

She hugged me tighter and whispered, "You were very naughty just now. You are not supposed to be having sex with your relatives. I am going to call Alfred and tell him that house mother supervision is required here for at least ten days."

Her body shivered and her teeth were busy on my ear. I was hard and horny and ready to take her again, right against the kitchen counter, when Sharon slammed me from the back and said, "I hope you are apologizing. Treating us like you were at tackling practice."

All three of them were giggling and pounding on me.

"Hey, you can be demoted. How does that English phrase go? 'Below the stairs?' I could put you to work shoveling coal in the basement."

My arms were around them. Valerie kissed me and said, "We are just waiting for YOUR hot water to heat. Is there really a coal chute in the basement? The house I grew up in in Vermont had one. Mom was really mad when we got all black one day playing in it."

An hour later, we were dressed and gathered at the front door, not a coal smudge in sight. The new dresses were fabulous. Maggie had fixed them up with matching heels and sheer stockings. This was upscale Berkeley for sure.

"Scott, you may drive us to Franco's, off Bancroft."

They had perfume on, which wafted about as I helped with the car doors.

The women carried on social chit chat. Nothing too serious. I drove along, thinking I could have a real date with any one of these marvelous creatures. How could that happen to a dumb landlord with an engineering degree?

Franco's was one of several second tier restaurants trying to get noticed. A discreet note at the bottom of the menu said good reviews on the web would be appreciated.

The menu was all over the place. A few cliches, like halibut and ribeye steak. A few politically correct choices, like vegetarian lasagne. Fortunately, there were several specials that involved the talent of an aspiring chef. I listened to the women sharing their possible choices, complaining about excessive calories. Those tight bodies did not come from pigging out.

One item caught my eye. Chile relleno, with four cheeses. Thai noodles with spinach and carrots. Trying to cut a Mexican dish loose from the rice and refried beans.

The waiter arrived for a drink order. Maggie looked around the table and said, "We are celebrating and will have some of your better champagne." As the waiter disappeared, she stared hard at me and said, "One smirk and you will be severely punished when we get home. I am buying this meal and we are celebrating the successful launch of your lodging place and the arrival of two exceptional tenants."

There were real flutes and we raised our glasses. Maggie said, "Scott, you may make a toast."

"To exceptional tenants."

This was followed by salutes to exceptional grandmothers, exceptional landlords, and to the possibility of an exceptional Cal football team.

We all held hands and smiled and giggled. I felt like a very lucky man. Too bad I didn't earn enough to propose to either of the exceptional tenants.

To more laughs, Maggie announced she was needed as house mother for a few days. The rest of us cheered.

Midway through the meal, she asked, "What about the front rooms on the second floor? The girls tell me tenant improvements are needed."

"Maggie, they are, but do you have any idea how much their wish list will cost?"

"The girls, pardon me, women, said these improvements are necessary for their physical health and continuing attractiveness to studly males such as yourself." Her smile was wide.

I was mellow and had a permanent grin on my face as we finished. Maggie produced a credit card and the poor among us cheered.

Four mellow people were straggling up the sidewalk to my new house when we saw two bodies dejectedly coming down the front stairs. "Were you looking for someone?"

Twins. Pretty, diminutive female twins in school clothes. "Oh, we were just wondering if any rooms were left. We have been looking all day and found nothing."

From behind me, Maggie said, "We're not sure, but please come in. Are you by chance the Poitier sisters?

"Look! It is Professor Fourneau." They rushed forward, almost knocking me down, and embraced Maggie. "Gran-maman! It is you!"

Somehow, I got everyone into the living room. Maggie surrounded herself with a twin on either side, with high velocity French flying back and forth.

The tenants and I fixed espresso and ice cream in the kitchen and brought it out on a big tray. Valerie whispered, "They are stars of the gymnastics team."

Maggie looked up and said, "Scott, don't be a dunce. Break out some of the sauterne. We must have more celebration."

I returned with glasses and expensive wine. Judging from the excited chatter, it wasn't going to last long. I served, and finally was introduced to Aimee and Adrienne Poitier. Their smallish bodies seemed to be in constant motion. They hadn't had any food all day and grinned when they said starting dinner with dessert was fine.

I had a sinking feeling that grandaughters of Maggie's close friend from her university days were about to be new tenants, despite the possible bedroom crunch.

Maggie wasted no time. "You have come at the perfect moment. We were just talking about redoing the front rooms upstairs for the tenants. Come and see."

I lagged behind, moping a bit. Sharon saw me and came back down the stairs and pressed us against the wall. "They are cute. They are championship jocks. They will be great fun to have around." She kissed me and added, "They don't take up a lot of room, like you do."

She wiggled her butt as we went up, and I swatted it and got a big giggle and an arm around my waist at the top of the stairs. The twins were dropping clothes revealing their workout shorts and bra as underwear. Aimee was stretching and doing walkovers on an imaginary balance beam. Adrienne was doing front and back flips and watching her altitude, even with a ten foot ceiling.

"Maggie, this is wonderful. How could we find such a fine place? You are sure the landlord will accept us?" They giggled, looked at me, and dashed into my arms.

"Can we call you Scott? This is incredible. A few minutes ago we were almost crying."

Maggie came up and said, "You must need a shower after traipsing around all day. The girls will show you where and find some robes. Scott and I will fix some soup for you. Come to the kitchen when you are ready."

When she had something warming on the stove, Maggie gave me a hip and asked, "Well? We are not going to turn them out into the night, are we?"

"I'll take you to the airport first thing in the morning to go back to Medford. You are a terrible threat to my peace of mind."

With an arm firmly around me, she delivered a very hot, wet kiss. "Nothing doing. You think I am finished with you after this afternoon? Not on your life. Besides, you are never going to do better than having these two living with you. Among other things, their uncle is a world class chef in France, and they have been cooking since they could see over the counter."

I fastened firmly on her boobs, and used my teeth on her neck. "Where do they sleep?"

"That is the very least of your worries. If you are very, very lucky, they will end up in your bed from time to time."

She broke loose and worked on the soup and broiling french bread for crutons.

I sat at the end of the counter and nursed a beer. A few minutes later, all four of the tenants arrived, pink and laughing, in terry robes. The soup was a hit, with french flying around discussing refinements. Valerie sat next to me and bit my ear. "I'm so happy. We could almost make this a French theme house if Sharon and you get busy with your lessons."

I detected drooping eyes at the other end. Wine, and a shower, and warm soup was sending the new tenants to dreamland in a hurry. "Where are we putting them?"

"We already solved that. They are in my room in one bed. Said they have slept together since they were very small. We told them we would sleep in Sharon's bed, but we're not. We are going to see how much trouble we can make in your bed. Maggie agrees. Said she's always wanted to try four at once."

I put my head down and cried. Under the counter edge, my fingers were tickling them. "You are evil teases. I will carry them up."

Having a gymnast on each hip was an incredible fit. Their robes fell open and they were naked beneath. Seemed not to care. I tucked them in with a kiss on each cheek that turned into hot kisses with wet tongues and a "bonne nuit."

Downstairs, Maggie was sommoning me to the sofa, and indicated the girls should join. They poked at me until four bodies were arranged the way they wanted. I closed my eyes and awaited the next attack, verbal or physical.

"Scott, I am very impressed with your landlord behavior. There is room for improvement, but for a first full day, you have done well."

My mischievous hand reached under her top and squeezed a grandmother boob. "What do you think, Val and Sharon, isn't she quite the recruiter?"

Sharon said in a throaty voice, "I want to get naked. Let's take this upstairs."

There was no peace in my bed. None at all. They were rubbing on me and each other. I put the light out, but that started up a whispering campaign. I slipped away.

The morning sun found two more naked bodies in my bed. Every inch was occupied. They asked Maggie questions in French and made Valerie giggle. She whispered, "They are discussing your male capabilities. Maggie says you are adequate." She tried to grab me and I pinched her behind, which was tight to my crotch. I growled and pulled a gymnast to my front. She tried French, "Non, mes ami!" I licked a pert breast that matched the rest of her perfectly. "Yes! Naked nymphs in my bed are taken!"

There was great wrestling around and nipping curvy parts, accompanied by hysterical giggles.

Sharon appeared with a giant breakfast tray and everyone quieted down.

I kissed the neck of one of the twins and asked, "Do I ever find out how to tell you apart?"

"Oui, if you are well behaved."

"How can I be well behaved, when you come naked into my bed and tease me? You are as bad as these others."

"Sister, he is already complimenting us. It must be a trap." They munched on their croissant and eyed me boldly.

"We have good news and bad news."

Now it was my turn to stare at them. The others were relaxed, watching my byplay with the new additions with the fantastic bodies, which were greatly on display.

"We know a shop owner who will give us a big discount on the mats and equipment for the front rooms. He supports the gymnastics team."

"What is the bad news?"

"The wall between the rooms has to go. We need space for a practice balance beam on the floor."

"But the wall may be holding up the house."

They put my coffee cup to one side and rubbed on me like cats. Two different hands were mistreating my erection. "But there are ways, no? It is in a good cause. You were a varsity football player. You understand about the need for constant practice, yes? Besides, we will join your special club of girlfriends. Maggie says you are very good at loving."

I stared daggers at Valerie, who laughed back at me.

"You must have boyfriends. Big boyfriends, who will beat me up."

"Yes. Poor little Scott, who can't defend his women."

Five hostile stares at once. I closed my eyes and threw up my hands. "Ok, I'll call someone to come about the wall today."

Giggles and kisses and rubbing. A little voice in my head said to be good to the tenants. A loud Maggie voice said, "Up and out. Enough playing. Scott and I are going to the basement, and the students are to pick up and attend to their school prep."

I was brushing my teeth when she came up, minus the nightie, and rubbed her generous boobs on my back.

I finished and said, "I thought we were going to the basement."

A soft voice at my ear said, "Aren't you happy with your new housemates? Even without my incredible body around, they will keep you busy." She was pressing herself fully into my backside.

"Maggie, my love life has gone from zero to a hundred miles an hour. You have ignited a fire." I turned around and kissed her.

"It's about time." She yanked painfully, "It is like the girls said, this needs constant practice."

Maggie had dropped forty years and was acting like a coed. I held her face and applied a gentle kiss to eyes and nose and lips. "You bring out the male in me. You are not worried about Alfred being unhappy?"

"I will go home and fuck Alfred to death. He has to take those pills and he still doesn't last long. You better make hay while the sun shines, young stud."

"Right now?"

She pushed herself away from me, eyes sparkling. "No, not right now. Get some work clothes on and we will descend to the dungeon."

The basement had a few sad lightbulbs that did a close approximation of a dungeon. She looked around and asked, "Can you get a couple of days off from the Professor? What we need is some new lights, a major cleaning, and have the contractor check everything."

"What about the wall upstairs?"

"We took down a wall years ago. Terrible bloody mess of plaster. After that, not so bad. We will have a demolition party. Get the tenants all covered up with bandanas and denim. Provide contractor bags and pry bars. When it is open, the contractor can decide what is needed."

I gave her a hug and said, "You sure are handy to have around. And sexy too."

"Scott, you make an old woman feel young again." We shared a long kiss in the dark basement and went off to the hardware.

The next morning, Sharon and I were on the road at sunup to take the new sensor to Parkfield. She sat in the passenger seat with a Starbucks latte and grinned at me. "I suppose I shouldn't be smiling now that I have so much competition."

I grabbed her hand and kissed the fingers. "Four days ago, you weren't talking to me."

"Four days ago, you weren't getting any."

I gave her a hard look. "You are sitting over there asking yourself if there is more than sex going on with us."

She leaned to kiss my cheek and offer a sip of latte. "Four days is long enough for things to change."

She slumped back down. "But it doesn't make sense for a silly junior year swimmer to get serious over a big hunk of an engineer who has pretty women crawling on him, does it?

I looked over and didn't like the tears I saw.

"Stop that. I'm hot for you. We will work something out."

She had my hand and kissed it as her head rested on the console.

"Put the seat down, grab that blanket from the back and take a nap. Tell yourself he loves you and things will be ok."

We were ahead of the morning traffic and it was a peaceful drive, especially when we got to the open country south of Gilroy. I usually took the back road, avoiding the freeway.

We were almost there when Sharon sat up and looked around. "Pretty, even when it is brown in the fall."

"It shakes. This road is close to the fault."

"Did you mean what you said before?

"Yes. But pretty athletes with your smarts aren't supposed to be settling down when they are juniors. There is a world of possibilities you haven't checked out yet."

"You sound like my mother."

"Have a fling with me. With the others. Beat me up. Win some meets. Get that summa."

"Shit. You are really bad. I give you my body and practically everything else and you send me back to the practice lanes. I hate you."

"I said you could beat me. Just not while the car is moving."

She sat back and pretended to grump. Just as we were pulling into the lab parking lot, she said. "I'm warning you. You said you loved me and everything would be ok. If things go wrong, I'm holding you responsible." She came around the car, growled and punched me. I twirled her in the air and gave her a ferocious kiss.

We had to behave, because Dr. Tilton-Jones came out with a big smile. I introduced Sharon as my girlfriend and he bowed. "My pleasure. Do you have to punch him frequently to keep him in line?

"Yes. These football players with engineering degrees are very hard to control."

I added that she was a varsity swimmer and Sharon blushed. He looked at the tight body and said, "I'm beginning to understand."

The Professor was a hell of a lot nicer to Sharon than he was to me. I got out the two wheeled cart and put the special crate the sensor occupied into it. We hiked almost a half mile to the site of the drill hole where we would lower it into position. Tilton-Jones carried on a constant conversation with Sharon, leaving the hauling to me. When we got to the bore hole, I carefully assembled the triangular rig that fed the sensor and its cable and electrical connections into the hole. We had a done a test with a dummy ten days ago, so I wasn't worried. Actually, I was getting pissed at all the little orders from the Professor as he stood entirely too close to Sharon.

In less than an hour, our precious cargo was a mile underground. Tilton-Jones finally had to march over to the instrument hut and check out the signals. I put an arm around Sharon and muttered, "Twerp."

"Don't be nasty, he is your paycheck."

"Bastard, putting the make on my girl."

She tickled my ribs and said, "I like it when you are territorial."

"I'll bet he doesn't know how to swim."

"Ooh, you are angry."

The professor came back to us. "Looks great, Scott. Now all we need is an earthquake."

I glared as his hand fell on Sharon's shoulder and he wished us a good trip back to Berkeley.

The car was on the highway when she said, "I can feel the heat all the way over here."

"He did everything except invite you into his little hut and lock the door."

"Hey, it's not the first time a guy hit on me. I didn't do even a tiny thing to encourage him."

I kissed up her bare arm and almost drove off the road. "There's a rest stop here somewhere..."

"You are not taking me at a hot dusty rest stop in the middle of nowhere!"

"You know what? I do have feelings for you. Maybe that was a bunch of crap I said about keeping me at bay. Maybe I want to hang on tight and not let go."

"Scott," she said in a very soft voice, "put your seat all the way back." Her sneakers were off and the jeans were sliding to the floor. The body I wanted to get tight with was climbing over the console and into my lap. I used my famous one handed bra release move to relieve her of that article.

She whispered, "We are pretty tight."

I kissed her and said, "Not tight enough."

"I am not having sex with you like this. The car would crash and it would not be polite for our bodies to be found in an embarrassing position. But maybe this will help." Her lips found mine and her hand slipped into my pants.