Rebuilding Self Esteem

[Disclaimer: All characters in this are a work of fiction. This one could have gone under mature as well, but I opted for group sex. As always, practice safe sex people. ]

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I was divorced after nearly twenty years of marriage. It was an old story. College sweethearts marry. Husband wants to be a doctor so wife drops out of college to work and put him through med school, then quits when hubby becomes a doctor. After twenty years, hubby hits midlife crisis and decides the only way he can rediscover his youth is to trade in his forty for a couple of twenties. Unfortunately for him, he couldn't keep his dick out of the nurse he had been screwing during the divorce proceedings, and the private investigator my attorney hired had the pictures to prove it. The judge sided with me, and I won the house, car, and nice, big alimony payments that meant I wouldn't have to go back to work. About the only thing I didn't win was happiness.

I was an emotional basketcase after the divorce. I felt like a useless forty-year old spinster whose best years were behind her and had nothing to show for it, not even children. What made the situation worse was that I had seen it coming two years earlier. My husband had stopped paying attention to me, there was no romance, and our sex life was a joke. I tried to spice things up. I worked out religiously, going to gyms and hiring personal trainers until my body was in the best shape of my life. But no matter how sexily I dressed or acted, he never noticed, or cared. I wasn't attractive enough for him anymore, no matter how hard I tried. I felt worthless.

I don't know what I would have done it hadn't been for Janet. She'd been my best friend since we moved into the neighborhood fifteen years ago. She was a year younger than me and had married her high school sweetheart. She had two boys a year apart, Tony and Rob. I used to baby sit them when they were kids, though that was in the distant past since Tony was already in college and Rob had just graduated high school and would be joining his brother in the fall.

Janet helped me through the first five months, which were the worst. She was always there to bolster my spirits and make me laugh. We were together nearly every day, and she gave me the emotional support I desperately needed until I could function as a normal human being. My self-esteem was still shot to hell, since I felt old and undesirable as a woman, but I wasn't a zombie anymore and I was able to go out and do things with some enjoyment of life.

The one downside to my friendship with Janet was that she was always bragging about how great her sex life with her handsome, and very hung, husband Ray was. Sex with my husband had been perfunctory during the last two years of marriage, and since the divorce it was totally non-existent. When I got snippy with Janet over her bragging one day, she responded by saying that what I needed was to get laid. When I told her I wasn't ready for a relationship, she said I didn't need to marry a guy to have sex with him. She knew plenty of bars and clubs where a woman could go out and get picked up for a quick ride. I told her that I wasn't interested, and even if I was, I too old for that sort of thing to work. She assured me that with my looks, it would be a question of holding them off, not hoping someone would show up.

I thought she was just being supportive and I dismissed the matter, but from that day on she became fixated on the idea of getting me laid. When we got together she'd ask me if I met any cute guys and if anyone had made passes at me. When we went out she'd have me rate the attractive guys we saw and asked if I would sleep with any of them if the opportunity presented itself. She even volunteered to go with me to the clubs and help find some good prospects. At one point she even joked about loaning Ray out to me. At least I thought it was a joke. I laughed and let the matter drop, never bringing it up again, largely because I was afraid she might have been serious.

It was toward the end of August that Janet suggested we go up north to a summer home she owned near a tourist area on a lake. She said we could hang out there for about a week on a real vacation. It would be a girls only thing since it was a busy time of the year for Ray's construction business and they were late on completing some of their projects. I became excited about it, since it would be the first real vacation I had in years. It would be fun relaxing on their boat, swimming in the water, and working on my tan. Besides, Janet was always great to hang around with.

We went out together to buy new clothes in celebration for the upcoming trip. When it came time to choose swimsuits, Janet talked me into purchasing a tiny tanning bikini, one I never would have bought if Ray was coming along. After I bought it, Janet mentioned a couple of lakeside places where they allowed people to go around in swimwear and that I'd have to beat off my admirers when I showed them what I had to offer. I told her in no uncertain terms that I was not going to pick up any guys on vacation and that was final. She seemed disappointed, but said that if I changed my mind, I was more than welcome to use their place for a rendezvous and she'd make herself scarce if she had to. I just rolled my eyes and gave up.

Vacation time came along and we had an uneventful trip up. The house was in perfect order. It was on the top of a hill near the shore, surrounded by woods in a still underdeveloped area of the huge lake that afforded us some privacy. A short walk down the hill led to the dock where they had a pontoon boat. The sun was bright and the weather perfect. It was just what I needed.

After settling in and having lunch, there were still a few hours of good sun left. Janet suggested that since we were on our own, we go out in the nude and work on all over tans. The nearest neighbors were fifty yards away and there were plenty of trees that completely blocked the view between the houses. I decided what the hell and agreed. I stripped, grabbed a towel and lotion, and headed outside. Janet was already there and let out a wolf whistle when she saw me. She openly sized me up as badly as any guy. She surprised me by saying she was jealous of my bust size, which is a 36C, and is several inches and a cup size bigger than her. I replied by saying I was jealous of the fact her waist and bottom were leaner than my own 28-36 dimensions, and then pointed out that my larger breasts weren't as firm as hers. She laughed and said my breasts were plenty firm, and that since I worked out so regularly, everything I had was finely toned muscle that accentuated my larger dimensions nicely. I gave a terse, "If you say so," and let the matter drop. It would have been different if the assurances had come from a guy, but since it was from Janet, it didn't quite have the effect she was looking for.

We lotioned each other up, turned on some low music (we didn't want to attract attention, after all) and worked on our tans. I lay on my stomach at first. After about forty-five minutes or so, rotated so I was lying on back, eyes closed behind my sunglasses as I soaked up the rays. After a while, Janet asked if I was thirsty. I said yes and asked for a diet soda. She went inside while I went back to enjoying the sun.

After a couple of minutes I heard some movement, which I assumed was Janet, and continued lying there. Then I heard a gasp. Wondering if Janet had come across some of the local wildlife, or maybe spilled her drink, I sat up and released a gasp of my own. Just beyond the edge of the house, Tony and Rob were standing there, staring at my nude body. Positioned as I was, they had a perfect view of everything, from my breasts to my slightly open legs and pussy. I was so stunned I couldn't react. Evidently they were surprised too, as they didn't react other than to continue staring.

The door to the back opened and Janet walked out. She started so say something, then realized I was staring away from her. She turned her head and saw her sons. "What are you doing up here?" she asked.

The question caught their attention and they turned toward her. Seeing their mother naked, they finally were able to do what they hadn't with me: covered their eyes.

"Geez, Mom, put some clothes on!" Tony shouted while Ray mumbled something in agreement.

Snapped out of my own shock, I stood up, grabbed my towel, wrapped myself in it, and hurried inside. I made a beeline for the guest bedroom, threw on some clothes and waited for Janet to do the same. We went back outside where the boys still were talking with one another over what happened. I couldn't help noticing that as soon as I appeared, they started checking me out, seeming a touch disappointed with my clothed state.

Janet got the story from them. Since there was only one week left before they had to go back to college, they had quit their summer jobs early and decided to spend some time up at the lake. They hadn't thought there would be a problem since we were already up here and they had their own bedroom, so they hadn't bothered to call in advance. When they arrived, they had heard the music coming from the back and had walked around the house to say hello, and that was how they had ended up there. Janet laughed about the whole thing, then said she was delighted to have them around and told them to get situated.

While the guys unpacked their things, Janet said their presence wouldn't be a problem. They were up here often enough that they knew some of the other residents, and would be off doing their own thing and wouldn't get under foot. We'd have plenty of time to ourselves. I didn't have any objections. While I had planned on it only being Janet and I, the boys were nice and had always been very courteous to me. I knew them well enough both from talking to them directly and from Janet going on about them all the time. They also knew how messy my divorce had been, so there would be no awkward moments or anything like that.

After Tony and Rob got situated, they grabbed something to eat, then decided to hang around the house, saying they were a bit tired by the drive and they didn't feel like going out. Janet and I adjusted to the company and relaxed. The guys were pleasant, and didn't act the least bit irritated at hanging around with women so much older than them.

Over the course of the evening, Janet had a bit much to drink and got pretty loud and definitely raunchy. It was obvious the guys were a little embarrassed by her behavior. After having a few too many more, she called it an early night and I helped her to her room where she passed out almost immediately. I was left alone with the guys. I thought I'd feel like a fish out of water hanging around with people so young, especially without Janet to talk to, but Tony and Rob were very charming and friendly. I felt astonishingly at ease.

I asked them what they did during the summer, what their plans were for college, and such. After they answered my questions, they asked me some of their own, which surprised me, since I didn't think they'd be interested in my boring life. After a few benign questions, Tony asked if I was dating anyone. I hadn't expected that. I answered no, and he said he was amazed that someone as attractive as me didn't have guys lining up to ask me out since I was available now. I thought they were trying to cheer me up, like Janet usually did, but I definitely got a sincere vibe from them. Also I couldn't help noticing how they stared at me when they thought I wasn't looking. It was very flattering, but made me feel a little embarrassed. These were the sons of my best friend. I had watched when they were little boys, though they definitely weren't now. They were nineteen and twenty, definitely in the bloom of manhood. They took after their father, with dark handsome features. Both were nearly six feet tall and athletic; each of them had belonged to several sports teams when they were in high school. And they never had any problems dating, according to Janet, though in the course of our conversation both guys mentioned they were like me and not seeing anyone now. They were fine young specimens of manhood. Janet had good reason to be proud of them.

I called it an evening as well. They guys tried to talk me into staying up later, but I begged off, though I was delighted they found be interesting enough to talk to. They offered to tuck me in the way I had them when they were younger. I laughed and told them I was perfectly able to tuck myself in, but thanked them for their offer.

I went to bed, but had a great deal of difficulty going to sleep. After an hour of tossing and turning, I decided to grab a drink and hope I could nod off. I left the guest room and headed toward the living room. As I approached, I heard the guys were still awake and talking quietly. I was about to say something to let them know I was up when I heard Tony say, "I can't believe we got to see Mrs. C's body like that."

"I knew she looked hot, especially since she started working out, but damn, I had no idea it was that fine," Rob answered.

"Her tits were the best. Nice big ones. I'd love to feel a pair that big."

"They were nice, but that pussy was what caught me attention. Just a little patch of hair, they way I like it."

"Oh yeah, that was definitely nice, too. I can't believe Mr. C divorced her. I mean, if she was bitchy or spent all his money or something, I could understand. But she's like, hot and has a nice personality."

"Just goes to show you he was a dumb piece of shit. If I married someone as hot as her, I'd be fucking her everyday."

"And in every way."

The two laughed at that while I retreated back to my room, stunned that they actually thought of me in those terms. It was like they were in a locker room talking about some young school girl with the obvious lust in their voices. I know boys will be boys, and I'm sure they talked about all of the girls they found attractive in the exact same way, but it was a new experience for me. I didn't know what to think, since I had such a miserable self-image of myself, and here these two guys were inadvertently destroying it. It would have been one thing if they had known I was there, I could have written it off as them just trying to make me feel good, but now I began to wonder if Janet was right and I really was still attractive, despite my age.

I eventually managed to fall off to sleep. When I awoke the next day, everyone else was still asleep. I decided to reward the boys for their comments by making them their favorite breakfast. It was more effort than I thought I'd be making on vacation, but it was worth it for the nice things they said about me. When I was finished I woke everyone up. It was obvious Janet was hung over and hardly touched a thing. The guys were appreciative, and lauded on about my cooking enough that it almost made me uncomfortable. I had to admit, I felt very appreciated and was glad the two had shown up.

The original plan Janet and I had made was to go out on the boat first thing and work on our tans while we floated on the water. However, Janet said her stomach was way too queasy to get on any boat, and she suggested that one or both of the boys could take me out. They both eagerly jumped at the chance and I had to admit, after hearing how nicely they talked about me, I was enthusiastic about the idea of being around them. I was sorry Janet felt so bad, and I did volunteer to stay with her, but she said not to worry since she'd be better in a couple of hours and that this was my vacation too, so I was supposed to have fun and that she'd see me later that night when she felt better.

I thanked her and went to my room to pick out some things for the boat ride. I was confronted with a choice. I had only brought two bikinis, a normal one and the tanning one I had bought for the trip. Before hearing the comments last night, I would have picked the normal one, but now things were different. I thought it over a bit and eventually decided to reward the boys for their comments by letting them see more of my body than was proper. I wore the tanning bikini under my normal clothes so I could surprise them.

We set out in the boat. It was a large pontoon with an awning which extended halfway, leaving the boat partially in shade and with a portion in the sun. One could lie on the floor with the high sides providing some privacy, or lay on the upraised portion in back to show off.

The lake was mostly empty, but the guys suggested we go to a smaller secluded spot for some privacy. I agreed, and we went toward a more distant part of the lake, up a brief, narrow channel, and ended up in a small inlet that opened up into a slightly larger area that dead ended. weren't any houses around since the land was too marshy. It was far enough back from the main lake that no jet skis or powerboats would come back here, leaving it only for fishermen and people looking for a quiet place to sun. Currently no one else was present, leaving the area to ourselves.

Once we anchored, I removed my tank top and shorts and revealed my choice of bikini. I confess I was a touch worried that the talk from last night had been momentary and the guys might start thinking of me in terms of being an old woman, but one glance at their lustful leers and I knew that, if anything, their opinion of me had shot up. Tony even readjusted his swim trunks, though I think he was unaware of his action.

When the guys removed their shirts I was treated to quite the sight myself. I hadn't realized just how much they had matured. They had very manly physiques, with well-defined muscles and almost no fat. I suddenly realized I hadn't been around attractive, half-naked men like this since before I was married, and found it a very intoxicating experience.

Having the guys' attention riveted to me boosted my ego higher than it had been for years. I was actually flirting with them as I asked if one of them wanted to lotion me up. They both volunteered, and appeared ready to come to blows over it, so I settled things by saying Tony could do my front while Rob could do my back. I lay on my stomach first, and felt Rob squirt the cool lotion on my body, making me jump. Soon his powerful hand started working on my legs, massaging me as well as rubbing the liquid on my body. He might not have been a professional masseur, but it was obviously not his first time either. He took his time as he worked the lotion into my skin, though I wasn't complaining. It felt so good having this handsome male attending to me that I didn't want it to end.

Eventually Rob came to my ass cheeks. He slowed down, rubbing the lotion in large circular motions, but not blatantly grabbing my bottom or digging his fingers in. His fingertips did get just the tiniest but under the skimpy material of my bottom, but extended no further. After a seeming eternity of that, he rubbed it into my back. He then asked if I wanted him to undo my bikini strap. I told him no, since Tony still had to do my front, but thanked him anyway for the offer.

I swore he got every square inch of my back and sides. He probably would have kept rubbing me except Tony wanted his turn, insisting my back was done and it was time for the front. I turned around to lay on my back, able to watch instead of just going by my sense of touch. Tony started at my legs too, working the lotion in. When he got to my crotch, he told me to spread my legs so he could have better access to me. Now that was a loaded request, but I did was he asked. He was slow and gentle as he worked the lotion into every place where my flesh showed, which was considerable. At one point as he rubbed the sides of the tiny front of my bikini, his fingers caught in the strings at the side and lifted up, clearly defining my lower lips. The contact with the fabric made me moisten slightly.