Chapter 25
After a handful of minutes stretching, Ash sent a text message for the next girl to make her way up. Andy had turned his notes over so that Aisling couldn't look at them, and he smirked a little, noticing her frowning at the back of the legal pad.
"You said you didn't want to influence my decision, so I don't know why you should want to look at my notes, Ash." They had built a wonderfully natural teasing rapport with each other over the past few months, so Aisling knew he was joking with her, but was willing to roll with him.
She grinned up as she reached across the table to push the button and advance the slide. "Next: Katie." The redhead moved to sit back in her chair, and shrugged in his direction. "I'm mostly just curious how you're reacting to what you've heard so far, and how your opinions differ from mine, which I'm sure they will, here and there. I've heard all these pitches a couple of times, so it'll be interesting to see how many predictions I get right."
"Did you write them down?"
"Well, no," Ash said.
Andy grabbed his yellow legal pad and ripped out a single sheet from the bottom of it, sliding it and his pen across to her. "Alright, predictions then. Write them down now. Don't show them to me, but fold up the paper when you're done. We can have whoever's after Katie bring us an envelope to seal it up.
Just around the time that Aisling was folding up the sheet of paper, Katie walked into the room, confident in her stride. Andy cocked his head to one side as she walked in the room. The Hispanic woman was, as it seemed she always was, wearing a button up shirt underneath jean overalls. "Do you own other clothes besides overalls, Katie?" he asked her.
She stuck her tongue out at him, which made Ash giggle again. "I
can
be girly and shit, sir, but I mostly keep that for Jenny. How're the presentations going so far?"
"You know the rules, Katie," Aisling politely scolded, "no talking about anyone else's pitch until the very end."
Katie winked at her, shrugging a little. After Andy had settled her nerves about keeping a level of removal between him and her and her wife, Katie had relaxed massively and grown into a more comfortable relationship with the rest of the house. "Had to try. Anyway, let's get this fucking show on the road!" She grabbed the remote in her calloused hand and clicked the button as the screen behind her changed to an image of a slightly matronly looking woman in her early 40s, dark chocolate hair up in a bun, skin just slightly olive, some mix of European heritage that surely had to include either Italian or Spanish. The woman on screen wasn't overweight, but was certainly the most bulky woman that had been on the screen thus far, not fat, simply hefty.
"This is Doctor Morgan Fitch. She's a general practitioner in Los Altos who also dabbles in pediatrics. In talking with everyone in the house, it's clear at some point, you are going to be in dire need of a nanny around this place, and having one who's also a damn doctor just seems like smart thinking to me. By this time in a couple of years, this house is practically gonna be a little city, so you need to make sure all the major staples are taken care of. Some of the girls will wanna be full time mommies, no doubt, but for the rest, you're going to want to have child care. If you need that anyway, why not have that person be a doctor?"
"How do you know Dr. Fitch?" Andy asked.
Katie blanched a little bit. "She's kinda an ex of mine." She raised her hand immediately, a sheepish smile on her face. "We didn't part on bad terms, promise! At the end of the day, she was into the whole polyamory thing, and I wasn't, so we split, but remained good friends. That was five years ago, just before I met Jenny, so it all worked out okay in the end. She's had relationships on and off since then, but nothing's stuck. She's mostly a lesbian, but doesn't mind the occasional bit of dick here and there, so I think she might be a good fit for a staff member. She once told me that she likes to
fuck
men, but never gets emotionally
attached
to them the way she does to women, and what with her being staff, she'd be okay to pursue a female partner to take care of her emotional needs."
"What makes you think she'll want to join the household?" Ash queried.
"Morgan loves constantly shifting problems, and this house is like nothing I've ever seen before. Even before you start spawning, you're gonna need a doctor to make sure your family is in the best condition possible. Until you're having kids, she can staff a clinic in town on a volunteer basis, so she's getting settled here in the mean time. She's bored with the people in Los Altos, and we've always been good friends, so I think knowing I'm here would make her more likely to come aboard."
"Challenges you anticipate?" he said.
"She'd be the oldest person in the house at 46, but I think it gives her wisdom. Also, you might find her a bit... blunt, until you get used to her."
"How blunt?"
Katie tried to hide a little smile, shrugging, as she pushed the button to advance the slide to a screen reading "Next: Lauren" in friendly white letters. "Subtle she ain't, sir. I have never met anyone more direct in my life. I've always been a little thankful that she wasn't my doctor, because her bedside manner is more than a bit lacking. But sometimes you need someone to just slap you upside the head. Sir. We all do. Morgan would fill that role. And if she ever gets too blunt for your liking, you can tell her, and maybe she'll dial it down a little bit, or realize that she might've once gone too far. She's direct, but she's never intentionally mean. And even if you don't think Morgan's a good fit for here, and I can completely respect that if that's what you decide, I still want to stress that you're going to be in dire need of a nanny here at some point soon, so to keep that in mind moving forward."
"Point taken and noted, Katie. Anything else you wanna say?"
Katie brought her finger to her lips, considering for a moment, then slowly stood up. "Just one thing. I know Jenny brought you her old roommate Lexi as a candidate, and I want to throw my weight behind that, even if it's at the cost of my own candidate. I would've not pitched someone else if I could've pitched Lexi twice, y'know what I mean? Lexi's had a shitty go of it and I desperately want her to be happy, and I
really
think she can be here."
Andy chuckled a little. "Unorthodox, but sure, I'll keep it under advisement. Alexis did seem like an excellent candidate, so we'll see how it goes."
"Thanks sir! Enjoy the rest of the pussy parade!" she laughed, heading out of the room.
Ash shook her head at him with a smile. "I have no idea how you can be such a good poker player with a poker face like that."
He grinned, giving her a saucy wink. "It's easier when you don't give a shit about your opponents. This is family, so I don't have to stay so stoic. Besides, I know Jenny and Katie are close, so it's okay to let them share a little secret on my behalf."
"Oh we've all got our little secrets, Andy. If you're nice, maybe I'll even let you in on one eventually."
He tsked her in jest, waggling a finger in her direction. "My girls are keeping secrets from me? Heaven forbid, what next?"
"What's next is Lauren, and frankly, I will probably be spending this entire presentation with my hand over my mouth, desperately trying to stay quiet, and likely failing miserably." Aisling had a strange grin on her face that told Andy this next one might be a little unusual.
He didn't have long to consider it, though, as the door opened and the statuesque Lauren strode into the room decked out in a workout track suit with the 49ers logo on it. "Hey Andy, Ash. Thanks for letting all of us do this. I can't tell ya if I'm presenting my candidate to you on a lark, because I think she's actually a good idea or because of the girl herself. Maybe some combination of all three. So let me just get right down to brass tacks," the Aussie said, as she moved to sit down across from them. She picked up the remote and clicked the button as the screen sprung to life.
On the screen was an image of a 49ers cheerleader, a fit woman with a large blonde mane of hair like sun-dried grass, bubblegum pink lipstick and a smile that was so wide Andy wondered if it hurt when she finally let her face relax. She was pretty in a sort of pageant kind of way, although he suspected she didn't look quite so forced in regular photos that weren't taken from the 49ers website.
"This is Jade Dillon. She's been a cheerleader for the 49ers for about three years now, and is literally
the
most optimistic person I have ever met in my entire life. She is bubbly and chipper and all smiles even at the worst of times. When the pandemic set in, she sent the entire 49ers organization an email reminding them that adversity is simply opportunity in disguise. No lie, Andy, she is completely unflappable in every way possible. She's... she's like a golden retriever in a person! Peppy and enthusiastic and always full of confidence."
Andy looked over and saw that Ash had, indeed, both of her hands over her mouth, trying to hold in her desire to laugh, but he could still hear tiny giggles threatening to escape. He looked back to Lauren, a slightly quizzical expression on his face. "I can't tell if you admire her for that or if it drives you crazy."
"Both!" Lauren said, throwing up her hands, laughing at herself. "It's infuriating! Even when she was kneeling in protest alongside Colin Kaepernick, she was still smiling about it. I don't know what to do with her! I mean, I get it. She's a kindergarten teacher as her day job, so pennies on the dollar that's what helps her keep all that energy up, but strewth, I just don't know how she does it! I mean, she comes from money, so I imagine that's gotta help."
"Oh yeah?"
The tall blonde tanned Aussie nodded, pushing the button to show Jade in a more normal setting, in an evening dress standing next to an older gentleman who Andy knew he'd seen somewhere before. "Her daddy is Cormack Dillon, one of the cofounders of Bindr, that teleconferencing tool everyone's using these days, but she's sort of tried to distance herself from 'er daddy over the last few years. An', in a 'ain't it a small world' moment, Cormack Dillon was the guy Katie used to work for before she came here, so she and Jade know one another already."
