Qt: Aisling's Antics (ch. 10)

Part Ten - "An Army of Battle-Hardened Bitches"

December 23

rd

, 2020

Fiona was glad to be home from the trip, and Ash certainly seemed to echo the sentiment. The last week had been difficult and challenging in nearly every sense of the word, between dealing with her parents, as well as the gunshot outside of one of the signings. There had been highlights as well - meeting Andy's nephew, meeting Niko's mother, seeing Andy reunited with one of his writing friends as a surprise, as well as the look on Andy's face when he'd gotten a chance to meet one of his heroes, Ewan McGregor - but the trip had done such a number on exhausting them as a group.

Her confrontation with her mother hadn't been everything she'd hoped it would, but at least she'd gotten the chance to get everything off her chest, and she and her mother had come to some level of détente, because with the papal decree, Fiona knew her mom no longer had a leg to stand on regarding her outdated opinions of homosexuality and bisexuality.

The brides-to-be had coalesced into a much more cohesive group along the trip, having gotten better chances to bond as a smaller unit from the Team as a whole, and it had let them all grow closer to one another. The visit to Niko's hometown had been especially enlightening, but each of the fiancées had had their moments along the trip, little snippets where two or three of them had shared something they could bond over.

It turned out Andy's crazy idea for a trip hadn't been so crazy after all.

As reckless as his ideas could seem at times, he generally had the best intentions at heart.

They'd all known that as soon as they got back to Rook Manor that they weren't going to see Andy for a day or so as he took care of the needs of all his other partners who had been waiting dutifully at the Manor for their turn, so Fi wasn't surprised to see Whitney pull him aside almost immediately, leading him into the manor for his first appointment.

Fi had taken a peek at Andy's schedule for the next twenty-four hours and made a note that they should have a warm bath waiting for him both tonight and tomorrow night, although with tomorrow night being Christmas Eve, she wondered if Andy was just going to be up from tomorrow until Christmas morning.

"How you holdin' up, Fi?" Ash asked her as the redhead ran into her in the hallway.

"Better than I was before we left, if I'm honest," Fiona replied with a smile. "We got the whole thing with Emily good and buried, Piper's brother doesn't hate Andy, Andy's nephew likes all of us, my mom is... trying..."

"Ah, you know how the older folk are with their clinging to religion, Fi," Ash chuckled. "The world doesn't change unless it has to, and now it

has to

. Infidelity's definition is going to be wildly different for a whole generation. Give her time. It's a lot to process all at once."

"Yeah, yeah, I know..." Fi sighed. "I just wish it didn't take an apocalypse for my mother to be okay with me liking girls as well as boys."

"One step at a time." She glanced over, watching Andy walking and talking with Mali and Emily before she sighed and turned to look back at Fi. "Shit. It didn't take."

"You can tell that just by looking at her?" Fi asked.

"Well, I'm sure I probably

could've

," Ash grinned momentarily, "but I heard about it from Nicolette and Whitney, who've been doing their best to help her settle in while she's still dealing with the pressure of having her late partner's memory running through her every idle moment. You can just see the pain of it still on her face, though." The smile had vanished as quickly as it had appeared. "She's still got more grief than joy. We'll have to help her through that."

Fi felt like she knew Ash well enough now to recognize the redhead was forming a plan of attack, starting to consider what to do, when and with whom. And Andy would be trying to help Mali with the issue as well, because that was just what Andy did for those in his orbit. Their problems were

his

problems, and he enjoyed helping people with problems. "We will, Ash," Fi said in agreement. "We will."

"God help him, though," Ash said. "I looked at his schedule for today and tomorrow, and by the time we get to unwrapping Christmas presents, we may have to lift his arms for him. He's got a

lot

of needs to tend to in a very short period."

"I

did

try and warn him that maybe the trip was a little bit too long, but he didn't want to skip any of the stops he'd mapped out." To be fair, Fi wasn't even sure which stop they really could've clipped off their little tour - NYC had given them the publicity push, Florida had let Piper see her family, Chicago had let Fi see hers, Ohio had let them all meet Andy's nephew, South Dakota had let them meet Niko's mom, Seattle had let them meet Andy's old friend Larissa and Los Angeles had allowed a bunch of them to take a ton of meetings. She supposed they could've snipped off Denver, except the turn out for the signing they did there had been bigger than any other signing on the tour, and it felt like denying Andy that audience would've been a poor choice also.

"Apparently Hannah and Asha have taken up meditation to help them try and control the cravings," Ash said with a giggle.

"Is it working?"

"Not one lick, but that's because they figure they're doing it wrong."

"Are they?"

"Not really, but the two are so young and impulsive that it's a little like showing a complex stage illusion to a house cat - what's the point, really?" Ash smirked.

"Do we think Andy's going to be okay?" Fiona asked.

"Well, I think he's going to sleep through most of Christmas Day, but that's probably okay," Ash said. "We can't have him burn the candle at both ends and not expect him to come through completely unburnt."

"As long as he heals up in the end," Fiona chuckled. "He's the one who wanted to be gone from the house so long. You started thinking about your parts of the wedding yet?"

"A little bit," Ash said as the two of them started to walk back down towards Ash's studio. "I'm coming in to a Pogues song, I think, although maybe U2. I want something modern, but something definitely Irish. But it's got to be something Andy likes as well. The last thing I want is him seeing me entering to some song he can't stand, like Ed Sheeran or some shite."

"I'm sure you'll figure it out, Ash. Anyway, think we can finish up your portrait and the last bit of you telling me what happened before I got here?"

"Well, technically, you were

here

for this last part, just not conscious," Ash said. "And yeah, we can do both. I'm nearly done with your part. Around the time you were showing up, shit was beginning to get a little bit out of hand, because you showed up the morning of the day we were interviewed by Katie Couric, and things couldn't have gotten much crazier if they tried..."

* * * * * * * *

Andy was completely open about how he knew you and Moira, and he told us all the story of your relationship in college, how you both met Moira and your little tryst, but he didn't know much about what happened to you post college, or at least that was his

first

story.

I've sort of put two and two together and figured out that while he didn't keep

close

tabs on you after you both graduated, he

did

keep tabs on what you were working on, what stories you wrote, what sort of things you were reporting on and what was being reported about you. But he didn't want to pry, and he didn't dig into anything more than was on the page, so he didn't know about Moira. When he was showing me all the stories of yours that he'd read over the years, I noticed that in your Doctors Without Borders story where you told us you met Moira again, you didn't mention her by name, almost as if you wanted to keep that little detail private.

I don't blame you.

Once Moira was

here

, well, Andy was willing to dig a little deeper while the rest of us in the house were busy getting ready for Katie Couric's big damn interview. I'd tried to put the fear of God into the rest of the girls, because I could tell many of them weren't taking the whole thing as seriously as we needed them to. This wasn't the kind of thing any of us could half ass, and so while we were running around the Manor, cleaning up and making sure nothing was out of order,

I

was talking to each girl in turn, making sure she understood the sort of stakes we were going to be dealing with.

At first, everyone seemed to think this was going to be their moment in the spotlight, a chance to show off how pretty and happy they were in their new home, but when I took a few minutes to explain to them what sort of scrutiny we were going to be under, I could watch it dawn on them how little they'd thought about what sort of repercussions there could be if they

didn't

take it seriously.

The first person I had to whip into shape was Taylor, who had made a crack about how we thought Katie Couric was going to react to hearing that she hadn't been allowed to wear clothes after her arrival, but when Lauren and I pointed out that if Taylor mentioned that to

anybody

outside of the house, they might take Andy away from us, she went into an immediate panic attack, because she hadn't really

thought about it

.

Five minutes later, after we'd gotten her to start breathing again, she made it absolutely clear to me and Lauren that she wasn't going to tell another living soul about the punishment that Lauren had inflicted on her upon her arrival, even if it was with Andy's consent.

Next, I took Lauren with me to go talk to Sheridan. At the time, Sheridan was debating on how her decision to get paired up with Andy would reflect on her sometimes employers at Cirque Du Soleil, and Lauren was worried that the 49ers wouldn't look kindly on her appearance on

60 Minutes

but for the last couple of days, I'd been sort of suggesting to the two of them that we shouldn't be the kind of women who get nervous by what people think of us. Also, we were basically giving this interview at the request of the

fucking President

. Anyone who would give them shit about that would be up to their eyeballs in trouble from up on high.

The two had pretty much come to the decision on their own that they wanted to be part of the interview, but I think I gave them the final push to stop waffling about it. Either way, they resolved to make sure their presence was both heard and felt during the interview, because the last thing I wanted was the media having any possible excuse to throw Andy under the bus.

I know you're part of the media, and so you have a positive view about most things they do, Fi, but I got the sense that part of the reason this article was happening was just in case they needed a scapegoat to pin things on, that maybe they were going to choose Phil, or maybe to lesser extent, Andy, and I wasn't about to let that happen.

I'd called Linda to talk to her about how the interviews had gone, and she said that Katie Couric had been fair but certainly angling to figure out how the hell we'd gotten from there to here in such a short time frame. Phil, of course, had been totally prepared and hadn't been caught off guard by a single question at any point during the interview. In fact, Linda even said he was surprised by the number of things Katie

didn't

ask him about. But, as Phil had laughingly pointed out to Linda, it wasn't his place to do Katie Couric's job for her.

After speaking with Linda on the phone, I went to talk to the staff, and made sure they were okay with doing the whole thing, and to reassure them that they should be as candid as possible. Our Katie was still nervous about openly admitting that she was a lesbian who was still being regularly dosed by Andy, but when I asked her if Andy had ever forced himself upon her, she laughed and explained in some cases it had had to be the exact opposite, with Jenny

insisting

he take care of herself and Katie, leaving neither unsatisfied. I told Katie that would be a great story for air, and that she should go out of her way to make time to tell it on camera.

Past that was Tala and Jade, who Andy had also made a point to talk to, simply because they had

just

gotten here, and we were in the point of still figuring each other out, but Jade had come at Lauren's recommendation, and Tala at Sheridan's, so we felt like they would fit in fine, even if I really hadn't gotten a chance to shake the trees all that much yet. There it felt best to let Andy set the tone. Besides, I had bigger fish to fry.

I'd saved Hannah and Asha for last, because I knew they were going to be an utter handful, and I wanted to have as much energy as possible to get them to bring it down a few notches, so I went up to their room, where they were busy getting ready, and I immediately knew I was going to have to have some serious words with them.

"Hannah, tell me you're joking," I said to her, seeing that she was in her cheerleading outfit from high school, the one she'd first arrived on our doorstep in. "You

cannot

wear that to the interview today."

"Aww," Hannah scowled. "Why not? I look super cute in it!"

"You look like jailbait," I told her. "While that's fine when you're having romper time with Andy, you're a college freshman, and you damn well ought to look like it. What do you think Katie Couric's going to say if you show up dressed like that?"

"...nothing?"

I put my hands on my hips and tried to hide my Irish accent as much as possible to impersonate Katie Couric's tone. "So, Hannah, does Andy make you dress up like that all the time or did he just tell you to do it for the interview?"

Hannah was about to snap back at me then sighed, nodding. "Shit, you're right. It makes me look like I'm trying to act younger than I am." She pulled off the cheerleading top and started going through her wardrobe. "Sorry, Ash, I just... I wanna make it clear how happy I am with all of you guys, and I fucking

know

that that reporter's gonna try and make an issue out of mine and Asha's age."

Asha sniffed as if she was above it all. "Like I give a shit what some tabloid rag says about me."

I continued on with my Katie Couric impersonation. "Asha, how does it feel to know your mother saddled you off with some man you hadn't even been Oracle screened against because she didn't like the man in question?"

"Hang on!" Asha said, wheeling around to point a finger at me. "That's a bloody unfair characterization and... and... Shit, and I just took the goddamn bait, didn't I?" She sighed and banged her fist against a wall. "Fuckin' 'ell!"

"We both spent a lot of time in the UK, Asha," I told her. "Stop thinking about this like a BBC interview. It might be. If we're lucky. But they could also be looking at us like a bunch of Page 3 girls who are barely educated enough to tell them

why

we've got our tits out to try and get famous, you understand? I'm looking out for everyone's best interests here, not just the family's but yours as well."

"I thought this whole thing was about convincing the country that the Quaranteam project was a good thing, Ash," Hannah said, holding up a Stanford t-shirt that I nodded in agreement to. Selling herself as a college co-ed was fine, but the last thing I wanted was her tarted up with the Lolita angle dialed to eleven. Andy would've been furious, and rightly so. He was already nervous enough about being asked how he felt about being paired up with actual teenagers, and the fact that neither of those teenagers had realized that in advance had me a bit worried.

"It is, but to do that, we can't let her see any things that paint Andy in a majorly bad light."

"Nobody's bloody perfect, Ash," Asha said to me as she was also reevaluating her wardrobe choices, going for a little less stridently slutty. "Andy's human."

"'Course he is, Asha, and we need to let those human parts show through. But you give a journo a meter of rope to hang you with, and they'll have you swinging from a tree by sundown," I said with a chuckle. "And Andy's going to be judged not only by the actions that he's taken but also the partners that he's gained. How are you going to respond if Katie asks you if Andy's too old for you?"

"I'll tell her age is just a number, and that Andy's been incredibly good to me, kind to me. He's never once talked down to me, and he respects my ability to make my own decisions, but despite my youth, he still treats me like a woman, and there's nothing sexier than that."

I nodded a bit. "Good start. Hit home the family aspect. But be yourselves. Don't try and lie about it. She'll spot it if you do. She's too good a reporter for that."

"You make it sound like this is the inquisition, Ash," Hannah said.

"Right now, this interview is the most important thing you'll ever do, Hannah," I told her. "You need to convince not only Katie Couric, but the entire fucking world that you're good for Andy, that Andy's good for you, that you make Andy happy, that he makes

you

happy and that you aren't at all bothered by the age gap. I imagine she's going to pull the two of you aside for a private interview, based on your ages, and try to use that to get you to say that things could be better, or that Andy is only like 40-50% of what you want out of a man."

Hannah came over and grabbed my wrist, taking my hand in hers. "Ash. Andy has been fucking amazing to me since I got here. He's treated me like an adult, but he's also helped me make smarter decisions. He's been a

great

fuck, and on those rare occasions when I've gotten sad spells, he's put his arms around me and just held me while I had a good cry. I know you think I'm too young to understand it yet, but I'm pretty sure I love the fucking guy, okay? So I won't do you wrong."

I let out a very deep sigh before I looked into her eyes. "Okay, look, Hannah. I get that it may feel that way, but you're young."

"I—"

"Hang on, and let me say my peace first, Hannah, then you can lay into me. When you're young, everything feels... overwhelming. Your friendships, your fears, your loves... but as you get older and you start to figure out what you want to do with your life, you start to refine your tastes, and they may change, and Andy may not thrill you like he used to. If that happens, we'll have to keep an eye out for a way to get you reassigned that doesn't involve his death. If not, then you just need to decide what it is you really want to

do

with your life. Andy's my number one priority. Getting married to him is going be the greatest moment of my life, only to get topped by giving him a kid. And after that? I just gotta love him as strong and hard as I can, to make sure we don't go crazy with the world going nuts around us. I have a feeling we haven't even begun to see the rough times yet, and Andy's a damn fine man, but he is too trusting by half, and he's going to need someone watching out for him. You wanna get in on that dream, you can, but I'm not gonna let anyone in who aims to half-ass it, you hear? The other women he's getting married to, I've taken the measure of them. Niko's already as committed as I am; the rest'll come around, give or take. I'm going to love him as hard as I can for the rest of my life. Are you absolutely ready to say the same?"

I watched Hannah stop and think, I mean

really think

, for maybe the first time in her life, as she had to consider what I'd laid in front of her. She was used to running at a million miles a minute, and there I was, asking her to stop and stay still for just one moment to consider what her next move was going to be. I don't think she'd ever met anyone who'd given her pause like that, told her to slow down and look before she leaped. Everyone else caught up in her puppy dog energy they just got swept along with her.