Has it ever happened to you that you've opened your big mouth and, before you even say a word, you know you're going to say the wrong thing? And you go ahead and say it anyway. We all get those rushes of blood. Usually we quickly backtrack, with apologies, explaining the listeners misunderstood what you meant. Sometimes we don't.
It was a hot sultry summer's day and by some sort of osmosis a half dozen of us had finished up at a friend's house. Oddly enough there was an even mix of male to female, even though none of the couples there were currently dating. Quite frankly I didn't know if any of them ever had dated. We were just a bunch of friends who happened to wind up at the same place at the same time.
We were sprawled around in the front room, AC blasting and music blasting even louder. I was sitting back in an easy chair, completely relaxed, listening to the music and watching the others interact. Well, to be precise, I was watching Nadia.
Nadia was a petite blonde. At eighteen, she was the youngest one in the group. She was very nicely stacked and dressed for the heat in an abbreviated sundress with what was, I suspected, a bikini underneath, giving her the option to safely shed the dress if the opportunity arose.
It's funny, isn't it, how women are terrified of being caught in their undies but think nothing of wearing a bathing costume that has even less material than the underwear.
While I was sitting, contemplating, Nadia looked over at me and was watching me watching her.
"What are you looking so serious about?" she asked with a laugh.
"Not serious," I protested. "Merely thoughtful."
"Ah, I see. In that case, what are you thinking?"
This is the point where I opened my mouth, knowing I shouldn't say what I was about to say.
"I was thinking that you are a very lovely young woman and I would very much like to see you naked."
And of course someone decided to change the music at that very moment, so my comment rang out loud and clear.
There was dead silence for a moment and then came the inevitable protests.
"You can't say things like that," Mike pointed out, promptly backed up by Peter. Kate and Marie just seemed amused and Nadia was blushing.
For a moment I felt like apologising. After all, people didn't really say thing like that out loud. Then I had a 'to hell with it' moment. I never did like being politically correct.
"I can say things like that," I retorted. "I just did. Weren't you listening?"
"We mean that you shouldn't say things like that. It's just not done."
"Why not? I was asked what I was thinking and so I answered. If Nadia didn't want to know she shouldn't have asked."
"Maybe so, but there was no need to embarrass her."
"Why should she be embarrassed? I merely pointed out that she's very lovely and I'd like to see her naked. Let me check. Who else here wouldn't mind if Nadia was naked?"
I could have guessed the results. Kate and Marie put their hands up, giggling, while Mike and Peter kept their hands firmly down.
"And just what is that supposed to prove?" asked Mike.
"It shows that the women tell the truth and that the men lie. You can't tell me that you wouldn't both love to see Nadia nude. There's not a man alive who wouldn't appreciate the view. Even an eunuch would appreciate it, even if only for aesthetic reasons."
"That doesn't mean that we go about talking about it," muttered Peter.
"In other words, you agree that she'd be a lovely sight. It seems the vote is five nil that you should be naked, Nadia. Care to oblige?"
"You've got to be kidding. No way am I taking my clothes off just to please you," protested Nadia.
"You don't have to. I'm quite willing to take them off for you. Hands up those who think I should help Nadia out of her clothes."
Same as last time. Kate and Marie giggled and put their hands up and Mike and Peter looked embarrassed and kept their hands down.
"Come over here, Nadia," I coaxed, laughing when she vehemently shook her head.
"Would it help if the others were naked?" I asked.
Nadia looked startled. So did Kate and Marie.
"Kate, you seem to think it's a fair thing for Nadia to be nude. How about you demonstrate your free thinking by showing her that you're not embarrassed to be nude in a group?"
It was Kate's turn to laugh.
"I don't think so. You'd probably jump me as soon as I was naked. I'll pass."
"Now really, Kate. You wrong me. I wouldn't lay a finger on you. I'm saving myself for Nadia. You can strip quite happily knowing that I won't touch you. Mike, on the other hand, will probably ravish you, but as far as I'm concerned. . .
Marie voted for nudity. How about if she strips at the same time as you? With both of you undressed Nadia will have to go along with it."
"No, she won't," muttered a little voice.
Marie was giggling.
"I don't mind showing off," she said, "but there's no way I'm agreeing to have sex with anyone."
"That's OK. Sex is not compulsory. Do you want to get undressed yourself or would you like someone to help you?"
"I can do it. How about you, Kate?" she added as she started undoing the catches on her skirt.
Marie was wearing a bikini under her skirt and top and wasn't at all embarrassed to take her top things off. She preened in her bikini, silently daring Kate to do the same. Kate shrugged and blushed but took off her shorts and t-shirt. The blush was because she was wearing proper underwear and men were now looking at her in her undies.
"Nadia?" I asked.
She gave me an irritated look.
"My dress only, OK? I don't mind being in my bikini, but the bikini stays on."
I had seen Nadia in a bikini before, but not quite as up close and personal. She filled that bikini beautifully, but it wasn't nudity. Yet.