I'm back. I know it has been awhile but that's because of everything that has happened since the last time I wrote. As you may have imagined, I became pregnant as a result of those events. Since it was assumed to be my husband Derrick's child, we never even discussed the idea of a paternity test. So who really knows who the child's father is. I don't care to find out because Derrick loves him and he is a great provider.
Soon after realizing I was pregnant, I quickly faded out of my usual social routines. I didn't speak to Caine again for about a year after the incident at the hostel. I was in shock, I think, and it caused me to push Caine out of my life. It really hurt his feelings and he wouldn't talk to me for a long time after that, but I didn't give up. I could never stop thinking about what had happened between us and I knew that we weren't done yet.
I don't want to sound creepy, but since Caine didn't block me out on social media I was able to stalk him and live as a part of his life vicariously by reading about his day to day activities. I was surprised to find that I would get really jealous whenever I saw him interacting with women, especially when it was clear they had real life connections. I would think back on our escapades and imagine watching him with other women and it would sometimes ruin my day. I know that it is irrational and a bit of a double-standard, but I just couldn't help it. I wanted him all to myself. Eventually, it got so bad that I decided that I was going to have him no matter the cost.
I started sending him messages every day to open our communication back up in hopes that I could rekindle our online chat connection. Eventually, it started to work. Reading his posts online, I was able to tell when he was having a hard time, and I resolved to be there for him whenever he was up late and needed someone to talk to.
While up late taking care of my new child, I would chat online with Caine. I would often find him working on projects or just coming home late from parties and feeling lonely. I got the impression that he had started dating this woman he worked with, but he would never confirm it to me. That seemed like a sign that he wanted to either keep his distance or keep a certain door open between us. I intentionally avoided bringing up anything about the night that Caine, Jennifer [and her husband Martin] and I all fucked. But my point is that we resumed our fairly regular online chatting and I began to get a feel for his routine. As soon as I could find a night free from my family and other obligations, I was going to try to work out a way to meet with Caine in person.
The chance came up sooner than I expected. I had been planning on going out with some of my girlfriends but they all canceled on me. I had already gotten dressed up and I was driving to my friend Heather's place to pick her up when she txted me that she wasn't feeling well. Having a night away from my husband and the baby is such a rare occurrence, I was determined not to waste it. My heart began to beat faster as I considered the possibility of just showing up at Caine's house. I parked my car and txted him, asking what he was up to. He said he ws doing his regular first Friday poker night together with some of his college friends and coworkers. I have actually talked to him about wanting to play games with him and his friends sometime, but we never ended up making it happen. So I decided to crash his party.
My heart kept racing faster as I walked up the steps and knocked on Caine's door. He opened it and there we were, face to face. We just stared for a moment, then I smiled and hugged him. I told him that I had come to play cards. At first he was reluctant to agree to let me into the game, saying that it would be hard to get me up to speed on the rules. I insisted, saying that I knew how to play already. This was half true, because I had recently started watching celebrity poker on TV. His friends Mark, Tim and Winston all seemed pleasantly surprised by my insistence, and they soon outvoted him and got me a chair. Caine pulled out the cards and chips. Mark turned on a basketball game on TV. Tim and Winston grabbed the food and the beer and they set up for the first hand.
We went through a couple of games and quickly proceeded to get two things: drunk and loud. Tim ended up confessing to us about a stewardess that he'd banged in Denver when he was there on a business conference and after that the conversation turned decidedly more crude and personal. I was a little disgusted by some of their antics at first but it was so interesting to be "one of the guys." At first Caine seemed a little embarrassed to join in the crude conversation because I was sitting right there at the table with them, but after I laughed at Mark's story about his threesome with two women in San Francisco, he seemed to relax. We were all laughing and having a good time.
Caine dealt another round while I went to the kitchen to get everyone another beer. When I came back, I played waitress and made a great show of leaning over to give each of them their beer. I was wearing a loose-fitting v-neck shirt that showed a lot of cleavage; and I knew that when I leaned over, I was giving them a pretty nice view of my cleavage and bra. I felt relieved when Caine smiled as he glanced down my shirt. I noticed in his face what I hoped was a twinge of jealousy when the other men looked at me. Not that I wanted to upset him.. I just wanted to know that he felt somehow like I was his.
We had played a couple more hands when Mark said we should open the whiskey that Winston had brought. I immediately volunteered to get it for him and left for the kitchen. I realized as I stood up that I was a little bit tipsy. I smiled to myself on the way to the kitchen, because I had a funny, probably beer-induced idea. After I found the whiskey and the glasses, I looked at my reflection in the window. My bra had been starting to dig into me and I really wanted it off. I giggled as I imagined flashing them my tits while serving their drinks. My heart started racing at the thought of it, but I decided to go ahead and remove my bra. I was feeling extremely turned on imagining them getting hard while looking down my shirt. My husband Derrick never gives me any attention and so I guess I sort of justified all of it by reminding myself of that. As soon as Derrick popped into my mind, I decided to take off my panties, too. I am really not exactly sure why I did that.