After a long week at work, I think I was just as happy not to have a date: changing into a t-shirt and sweatpants, ordering a pizza, opening a beer and watching the ballgame on tv sounded like a pretty good plan. Then in the top of the eighth inning, I heard a loud crash from the apartment next door.
This didn't sound good, especially since my neighbor Clair's boyfriend is a nasty piece of work and I wouldn't put it past him to get violent.
Still in my bare feet, I went out to the hallway and knocked on her door. There was no answer, but the door was ajar, so I slowly opened it.
"Frankie!" Clair said when she saw me. She was crouched down next to another woman, who was lying on the floor next to the remains of a lamp. "Maybe you can give me a hand with Sue here. I think she's having a bit of trouble holding her liquor tonight."
I'd never met Sue, but now I noticed two other women in the room: Dani, and another woman I'd never met.
"Help me get her into the bedroom, okay?" Clair said as we each put an arm around Sue. "You'd think I'd be the one passing out drunk tonight."
"Not drunk," Sue groaned.
"Of course not, dear," Clair said.
We were having a lot of trouble getting Sue vertical, because she kept sliding out of our arms. "What do you mean
you'd
be the one passed out drunk tonight?" I asked.
"This is a celebration party," she said. "I finally kicked Max's ass to the street today."
Good for you,
I thought. "Listen, we're not getting any where like this. Sue's not that big a girl. Just make sure the bedroom door's open and there's nothing on the floor for me to trip over, and I'll get her in there." I scooped her up in my arms, and carried her across the room."
"I'll try not to throw up on you," Sue groaned.
"Appreciate that," I said.
"You're a pinata," she said.
"I what?"
"I think she means your t-shirt," Clair said. "All those day-glo colors. The sixties called, Frankie, and they want their t-shirt back."
I lowered Sue onto Clair's king-size bed, and her short skirt rode up far enough to expose red panties. I looked away quickly: I was still wearing my sweatpants, and I didn't want to have any reactions I couldn't hide.
"Are you sure the rest of you are going to be okay?" I joked as Clair and I walked back into the living room.
"Oh sure. We're drinking enough to feel happy, but none of us are pass-out drunk drinkers."
"Maybe he's looking for an excuse to stay," the new girl – who Clair later told me was Jennifer – suggested.
"No," I said, it's just --"
"That's a great idea though," Clair said. "Why
don't
you stay? You can help us with a party game."
"Party game?" I asked.
"Yeah," Clair said slowly. "Sue got me thinking... we can play Pinata. We all take turns trying to make you explode."
"Um... that doesn't sound like a great idea."