After a picnic Sarah's friend Hazel had told us stories from her past, and back home that evening it was Sarah's turn.
"OK then," started Sarah. "If we're going to carry on...?" She looked round, and I nodded and pouted. I was desperate to do something more immediate, but even more curious to hear Sarah describe an experience in the way Hazel just had. I'd never heard Sarah really talk dirty before, and I'd always wanted to. Besides, she was probably going to relate to Hazel some story about me and her, and I wanted to watch Hazel listening to that. Or maybe it wouldn't involve me, in which case it would be even more interesting.
"Well, I'm not sure how to tell this. I don't feel as confident as you were," aimed at Hazel.
"Don't worry about it, just say what happened," reassured Hazel. "How old were you? What made it start?" Sarah began.
"Well, when I was younger I had no boobs at all. I didn't really get any until I got pregnant, but when I was 19 or 20 I was completely flat chested. Sometimes people would mistake me for a boy, if I had short hair at the time - they still used to when I first went out with you, didn't they?" She looked at me, and I nodded.
"I went swimming with some friends one day, and they were taking the mickey, saying I should be in the men's changing rooms, I didn't look like a girl to them. It was just a bit of a laugh.
"I was young and horny in those days - well, hornier than I am now. I used to think about sex a lot, and I masturbated a fair bit - as you do. I'd had sex with boyfriends, but I didn't have one at the time, and I suppose I was spending too much time thinking about sex on my own. I thought about what my friends had said, and looked at myself in the mirror at home, and wondered if I could get away with it, and thought what it would be like, and eventually convinced myself that I wanted to give it a try. I would go into the men's changing rooms, and walk about topless, and see if anyone noticed.
"I went to the pool on a Sunday afternoon. I'd dressed as much like a young man as I could look, jeans and T-shirt, hair a bit scruffy. I thought I looked pretty convincing. I went to a pool in Windsor, so I wouldn't meet anyone I knew - that would have been going too far. I went in and paid, and almost blew it straight away, 'cause I started to walk into the women's changing rooms. But I remembered in time, and my knees began to go wobbly as I walked into the men's.
"The layout was like the women's, benches in the middle for changing at, and lockers around the walls, and some cubicles. At one of the benches there was a man, mid-twenties I guess, stark naked, drying himself. I had to stop myself gawping, but it was tricky. I wasn't actually interested in seeing men naked, but now there was one in front of me, it was pretty engaging.
"Obviously, I had to go into a cubicle, 'cause the guys might have noticed that I didn't have a willy like them! I locked the door, stripped off quickly, and put my trunks on. They were a good touch, they were an old pair of my brother's, and they fitted me OK, just a bit too big. I'd tried them on in front of the mirror at home, and they disguised my hips - which weren't that big either - but I did actually look like a boy in them.
"I packed my stuff in my bag, and then just stood there. This was it! Could I do it? I could easily just get dressed again and leave. I was just planning to wander around a bit, maybe have a shower, and then get dressed. I wasn't going to go in the pool - there'd be too many people, it was just too risky, and I wouldn't be in control of my thrill, if you see what I mean.
"I picked up the bag, unbolted the door, and stepped out, topless, into the men's changing room. The bloke who I'd seen naked hardly glanced up at me, which was a fantastic relief. I didn't want to be recognised as a woman, or at least not easily. In my imagination, people were going to look at me and wonder if I might be, and be a bit perplexed. There was a group of young guys, changing at the next benches. I walked past them, and one or two of them looked at me as I passed. I think they were seeing a boy, but one of them did look at my chest for a moment or two longer than he should have done. And that gave me a big thrill, 'cause that was what I wanted to happen, I wanted to leave him wondering, and maybe thinking about me later.
"The thing that would put doubt in their minds was my nipples, 'cause they were not really like a boy's, definitely more like a girl's, but not conclusively. They were small for a woman of my age, you know, not far across, and didn't stick out much. But they were a bit too big for a man. I went to a locker and put my stuff in, and then realised I couldn't really just turn round and go back - they'd all see me, and it would be too strange a thing to do. I could have a shower, then hide in the loos for a few minutes, but I didn't fancy that. I went to the showers to think about it.
"They were big powerful showers, and not very warm, not cold, but not inviting. I edged my way in, until I could get my head under the water, and stood there gently rubbing my body, as if I was having a wash before going in the pool. This was pretty good, and I was enjoying the idea that I was having a shower, topless, while men showered next to me, or walked past. The shower stopped, 'cause it was on a timer, just as the group of blokes from before walked past to the pool, and I stood and watched them. This time I was surprised that two or three of them looked at my chest, including the same one as earlier, and they were really staring, but frowning too, as if they couldn't believe it. This was exactly what I'd wanted! Brilliant! It gave me a warm feeling in my groin, and I thought about masturbating later.
"Before I put the shower back on I looked down at my chest quickly, and realised why the boys had looked - my nipples had gone hard in the cool water, as any boy's would, only more so. They really did look odd for a boy now, sticking up like, like the top end of a felt pen. This was a shock for me, and a thrill too. And I decided that the thrill was good, and I'd go for it.
"I walked out into the pool, nipples first, and looked around. It was just a swimming pool - adults, kids, teenagers... and Rob. Right in front of me, standing looking at me, grinning fit to bust, looking from my breasts to my face, and back to my breasts, was Rob, my friend Kate's little brother.
"Hello Sarah!" he said, and he was acting pretty cool for an 18 year old in the circumstances. "What are you doing here? And why are you dressed like a boy?" He was enjoying it, the sod.
"I hadn't lost control of the situation, and I still had my dignity. I could have just turned round and walked back out - but something made me stop. It really was a thrill, I was enjoying it, I was in control and it felt good. So I played along.
"Hello Rob," I said. "Just thought I'd come to Windsor for a change. Nice pool, isn't it?" He looked surprised at my composure, and I carried on. "Listen, Rob, can I trust you not to draw attention to me? You know, to the fact that I'm not actually a bloke and these are my bosoms?" He looked at me, and them, again.
"Well, OK, but can you tell me what's going on?" I walked over to a bench at the poolside and sat down, and he came with me. I explained the whole thing, and I asked him not to tell anyone. I wasn't confident, though, because there was nothing in it for him - he was bound to brag to his friends, and word would get round... So I made him an offer. "If you swear you won't tell anyone, I'll stay with you now, and you can look at me. And maybe while I'm getting changed, too." When I said it, I meant he could carry on looking at my breasts, but I saw straight away that he thought I meant he could watch me change out of my trunks. "No, I don't mean..." I stopped, and thought, and decided. "OK, yes, you can watch me change." He looked amazed, really quite stunned, and he nodded slowly.