After a picnic Sarah's friend Hazel had told us stories from her past, and back home that evening it was Sarah's turn.
"OK then," started Sarah. "If we're going to carry on...?" She looked round, and I nodded and pouted. I was desperate to do something more immediate, but even more curious to hear Sarah describe an experience in the way Hazel just had. I'd never heard Sarah really talk dirty before, and I'd always wanted to. Besides, she was probably going to relate to Hazel some story about me and her, and I wanted to watch Hazel listening to that. Or maybe it wouldn't involve me, in which case it would be even more interesting.
"Well, I'm not sure how to tell this. I don't feel as confident as you were," aimed at Hazel.
"Don't worry about it, just say what happened," reassured Hazel. "How old were you? What made it start?" Sarah began.
"Well, when I was younger I had no boobs at all. I didn't really get any until I got pregnant, but when I was 19 or 20 I was completely flat chested. Sometimes people would mistake me for a boy, if I had short hair at the time - they still used to when I first went out with you, didn't they?" She looked at me, and I nodded.
"I went swimming with some friends one day, and they were taking the mickey, saying I should be in the men's changing rooms, I didn't look like a girl to them. It was just a bit of a laugh.
"I was young and horny in those days - well, hornier than I am now. I used to think about sex a lot, and I masturbated a fair bit - as you do. I'd had sex with boyfriends, but I didn't have one at the time, and I suppose I was spending too much time thinking about sex on my own. I thought about what my friends had said, and looked at myself in the mirror at home, and wondered if I could get away with it, and thought what it would be like, and eventually convinced myself that I wanted to give it a try. I would go into the men's changing rooms, and walk about topless, and see if anyone noticed.
"I went to the pool on a Sunday afternoon. I'd dressed as much like a young man as I could look, jeans and T-shirt, hair a bit scruffy. I thought I looked pretty convincing. I went to a pool in Windsor, so I wouldn't meet anyone I knew - that would have been going too far. I went in and paid, and almost blew it straight away, 'cause I started to walk into the women's changing rooms. But I remembered in time, and my knees began to go wobbly as I walked into the men's.
"The layout was like the women's, benches in the middle for changing at, and lockers around the walls, and some cubicles. At one of the benches there was a man, mid-twenties I guess, stark naked, drying himself. I had to stop myself gawping, but it was tricky. I wasn't actually interested in seeing men naked, but now there was one in front of me, it was pretty engaging.
"Obviously, I had to go into a cubicle, 'cause the guys might have noticed that I didn't have a willy like them! I locked the door, stripped off quickly, and put my trunks on. They were a good touch, they were an old pair of my brother's, and they fitted me OK, just a bit too big. I'd tried them on in front of the mirror at home, and they disguised my hips - which weren't that big either - but I did actually look like a boy in them.
"I packed my stuff in my bag, and then just stood there. This was it! Could I do it? I could easily just get dressed again and leave. I was just planning to wander around a bit, maybe have a shower, and then get dressed. I wasn't going to go in the pool - there'd be too many people, it was just too risky, and I wouldn't be in control of my thrill, if you see what I mean.
"I picked up the bag, unbolted the door, and stepped out, topless, into the men's changing room. The bloke who I'd seen naked hardly glanced up at me, which was a fantastic relief. I didn't want to be recognised as a woman, or at least not easily. In my imagination, people were going to look at me and wonder if I might be, and be a bit perplexed. There was a group of young guys, changing at the next benches. I walked past them, and one or two of them looked at me as I passed. I think they were seeing a boy, but one of them did look at my chest for a moment or two longer than he should have done. And that gave me a big thrill, 'cause that was what I wanted to happen, I wanted to leave him wondering, and maybe thinking about me later.
"The thing that would put doubt in their minds was my nipples, 'cause they were not really like a boy's, definitely more like a girl's, but not conclusively. They were small for a woman of my age, you know, not far across, and didn't stick out much. But they were a bit too big for a man. I went to a locker and put my stuff in, and then realised I couldn't really just turn round and go back - they'd all see me, and it would be too strange a thing to do. I could have a shower, then hide in the loos for a few minutes, but I didn't fancy that. I went to the showers to think about it.