The wrong person is invited to a sex club.
An April Fools contest submission. All characters are over eighteen. Enjoy.
^^^Day 1^^^
"Am I a horrible person?" Meg asked as she flopped on the sofa in the family room. It was late in the evening. She snuggled up to her husband, Zane, and pressed her soft braless breasts against his bicep.
Not being a dullard, the twenty-five-year-old automatically said, "No, sweetheart." He turned to her and sought clarification. "Why do you ask?"
"Your mother hates me."
"She doesn't hate you. She's British. She has their formal, rigid, reserved personality. You know my father died twelve years ago and she never remarried. It was just the two of us until you can along. We were close and spent a lot of time together. I admit she's been a little cold to you. She'll come around. You're very lovable."
He kissed her and caressed her breasts. Her nipples instantly responded and bloomed. They became hard nubs.
When the kiss ended, the pretty, raven-haired woman said, "I didn't just steal her precious son. I took her home too."
"Babe," he said kindly. "She's been talking about selling the house for years. The talk intensified last year when we got married and I moved out. It's too big and too much work for her.
"Believe me, she's happy we took the house off her hands. She loves her condo. The location is great. She can walk to the park, the library, and the museum. There's no more grass to cut or leaves to rake. The association plows her driveway and shovels her sidewalk when it snows. She's better off."
He leaned in and kissed the tip of her nose. He smiled and said, "If you want to win her over, give her a grandchild."
She playfully pushed him away and said, "Hold on, bub. I'm only twenty-four. It's too soon to be talking about making babies."
"I agree we can wait a while. Is it all right if we practice?" He smiled his winning smile. The one he knew she couldn't resist.
"Sure," she readily agreed. The young woman was dressed for bed. She was wearing a three-quarter sleeve, poplin cotton nightgown with a notch collar. The fabric was covered with images of kittens. The baby felines were dark blue on a pale blue background.
Meg fell backward onto the sofa seat cushions. She pulled her gown up, spread her legs, and revealed that she wasn't wearing any panties.
He saw smooth, creamy thighs and a hairless sex. Suddenly, he was hungry. He crawled to her and put his lips on her lips. He licked her slit and flicked his tongue across her clitoris.
Her hips rose and her mouth opened. She moaned, "Ohhhh."
Zane ate his wife until she orgasmed.
"Oh. Oh. Ohhhh!"
While she was lost in her bliss, he undressed. She opened her eyes and spied his erection. She smiled and said, "My, what a big dick you have."
"The better to love you with."
She raised her arms and reached out to him and said, "Come here."
Zane mounted his wife and fucked the shit out of her. When they were done, two hot, sweaty adults, gasped for air and enjoyed the good feelings their actions had produced.
^^^
The next day when Meg got home from work, she collected the mail and went inside. She put her purse on the small table by the door. Her keys made a clanking sound as they landed in the dish by her pocketbook. She dropped the mail on the kitchen counter and headed to her bedroom.
"Fuck! My feet hurt and this bra is killing me. Why do I do it?" she asked herself. She laughed and answered her own question, "Vanity."
When she entered the bedroom, she kicked her high heels off and quickly got out of her business attire. She flung the underwire bra that had been digging into her side all day in a trash can.
Wearing only a pair of pink panties with the words 'All this and brains too!' on her cute, firm backside, Meg returned to the kitchen and fixed herself a drink. After two long sips separated by ten seconds of meditation, she shuffled through the mail.
"Bill. Bill. Junk. Junk," she said as she scanned them and tossed them aside. One caught her eye. "Oh, what's this."
The return address said, 'Fun in the Sun'. It was from a small town ninety minutes away. The words were followed by a stylized image of the sun. It was bright yellow and had sunbeams shooting out in all directions.
She looked at the letter and saw that it was addressed to her using her full legal name, Ms. Margaret Baker. She opened it and pulled out a letter. The letter was handwritten on a piece of stationery with the resort's name, address, and phone number. It read,
"March 15th, 2005
Dear M,
You beautiful cocksucker. How the hell are you?
I need you and your fantastic tits to attend the opening ceremony of the second location of my 'Fun in the Sun' resort. This one is up in your neck of the woods. We are putting the finishing touches on the place and plan a grand opening on April 1st.
You'll be my guest. Luxurious room, great food, and plenty of alcohol and fun. Gratis, of course. Bring a relative, friend, or lover. This resort, like our other location, is a swinger friendly nudist club with swimming, hiking, tennis, volleyball, hot tubs, a rocking nightclub, etc...
I need you here. I've already entered you and your ta-tas in the Beautiful Bare Boobs contest and the Titty Drop contest.
Don't disappoint me. You have to cum,
All my love, Charlie
P. S. Please call to confirm you can spend Friday and Saturday night with us."
When she finished reading the letter, she put it down on the counter and said, "What a letter. That has to be the best marketing literature I've ever seen. I'm guessing it's from a club or timeshare. Instead of sending out a form letter and a glitz brochure, they've opted for this cheesy, raunchy letter where they pretend to be a friend of mine. Ha!"
She heard the front door opening and called out, "Zane, is that you?"
"Yes."
"Are you alone?"
He jokingly responded. "Is that an existential question? Are you asking me if I think there are other life forms somewhere in the vast universe?"
As he spoke, he made his way to the kitchen. He and his mother turned the corner and saw Meg sitting on a stool at the island topless.
"Ahhh!" his wife screamed. She brought her hands up and covered her hard, dark nipples. She hollered at him, "Why didn't you just answer me, you dick"! She ran from the room.
Margo, the mother-in-law, blanched and turned her head away, but she couldn't un-see her daughter-in-law's full tits.
"Oh, God! I'm sorry," Zane called out to his wife.
Margo said, "I'll go."
"Wait," her son said. "The damage is done. Let me get the suitcase you need for your trip."
He went into the basement and retrieved the piece of luggage. While he was gone, Margo stood in the kitchen. The bright yellow sun logo imprinted on the letter on the counter caught her eye. She picked it up and read it.
Zane brought his mother the suitcase. Meg reappeared. She was fully dressed. She had put on a bra, yoga pants, and a shirt with a high neck. Her face was red. She gave her husband a dirty look and then, ignoring what had happened, said, "So Margo, what brings you here today?"
"I'm going on a trip. There's a quilt show in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. I thought I'd attend and do some sightseeing. See how the Amish live. When I moved out, I left my luggage behind. I arranged to meet Zane here and get a suitcase. " She dropped the 'Fun in the sun' letter on the counter.
"I'll put it in your car," Zane said. He hurried out of the room.
"That sounds like fun," Meg said, being polite. She said, "I have a few letters for you from some folks who didn't get your change of address notice."
Meg walked across the room, ignored the letter on the counter, and pick up two envelopes leaning against the cookie jar. She brought them to Margo. Her mother-in-law took them and stood there quietly expecting one more.
Meg said, "There you go. Have a nice time on your trip."
Meg noticed that her mother-in-law kept glancing at the letter from 'Fun in the Sun'. Meg blushed and said, "That's some crazy letter. I don't know why it was sent here. I've never been there. I think it's some crazy marketing campaign. A mass mailing to generate buzz. Who'd ever go to such a place?"
"Yes. Who indeed," responded the woman whose clothing and demeanor declared 'I am a prim and proper lady'. She glanced the letter on the counter one more time, turned around, and walked out of the house.
Zane watched his mother drive off and then, came inside. He went to his wife and said, "I'm so sorry. I'm such a dick."
Meg balled up her fist and beat him on his chest. Her eyes filled with tears. "If you had just told me you weren't alone, I could have covered up or run to the bedroom. Your mother saw my tits! She thought badly of me before and now this! She must think I'm a slut. Why else would I be sitting half-naked in the kitchen having a drink?"
"There's nothing slutty about being relaxed in your own home."
"How often have you seen your mother with her tits out relaxing in the house when you were growing up?"
"Never, but . . ."
"Exactly. I'm a hussy and she's a refined, respectable lady. You're sleeping on the couch tonight!" Meg shouted. She turned, ran to her bedroom, and slammed the door loudly.
^^^
Zane had flowers and a card delivered to Meg's office the next day. The other women saw the act of contrition and asked what had happened. She told them the story. They commiserated with her.
"Men are such dumbasses," Rosie said.
"Frank's grandmother caught us naked and fucking once," Belinda confessed.
Sheila said, "Something similar happened to me. One Saturday morning I heard someone come into the house. I assumed it was my husband. I was naked. I'd just put my underwear in the washing machine. Turned out it was my father-in-law. He was helping my husband deal with a fallen tree. He'd come in to use the bathroom and he saw me completely starkers."
"I can top that," Gladys said, "Last year, my mother-in-law walked in on me giving her son a blowjob! She stopped short and looked at us as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing. We saw her and froze. I was on my knees. I had got my top off and Bennie's cock in my mouth. After an awkward pause. She said, 'God bless you, Gladys, you're a good wife.' Then she turned and walked away."
The women laughed.
"Shit happens," Rose announced and shrugged her shoulders.
^^^
That night, Zane got off work early. He swung by his wife's favorite takeout place and brought dinner home. They ate and he apologized again. Meg told him the stories the women at work had shared with her. By the end of the meal, they were laughing.
"The thought of Gladys having sex scares me," Zane said.
"She's old. I think sixty-two," Meg said, "but she's a live wire. She's always cracking us up at work. I can see her and Bennie having a physical relationship."
She took a sip of the box wine and asked, "Don't you plan on growing old with me?"
