One reality about being a man working at a bank now is that you're generally surrounded by women. Women simply outnumber men in the retail finance industry these days, and everywhere I've worked in recent years the ratio of women to men was very high. That means as a man in that environment, regardless of your job title, you end up doing some rather menial tasks from time-to-time. After all, there aren't that many people to compete for those gender-specific duties that require a male body. But don't get me wrong, there's definitely a lot of upside to the imbalance, too.
I'd only been working as the loan officer at the branch for about two months when December rolled around. And, as the law of averages would have it, I was the only man employed there at the time. There was constantly some sort of promotion going on in the place, so the changes from one set of decorations to another usually didn't even register with me anymore. When I noticed what appeared to be a Santa suit–complete with fake beard and oversized boots–strewn across my desk early one morning, I paid attention.
I've never been a Monday sort of a guy, so surprises before 8:00 a.m.. the first day of the week generally aren't received very well. As I picked up the long, crimson hat so that I could get to my phone, I could hear giggles coming from the tellers who could see into my office. I looked up at them, and they stopped trying to suppress their laughter.
"Morning Paul!" said my boss Debra as she walked into the office and shut the door behind her. "I guess you've seen the Santa costume by now?"
"Oh, is that what this is?" I replied sarcastically.
"Yes, I'm afraid so," she nodded.
Debra was in her early forties, and had been with the same company since she'd graduated from high school. Now a regional vice-president, she'd come a long way--and for good reason. She was smart, confident, assertive, and gorgeous. There were lots of twentysomethings in the branch closer to my own age, but none of them had anything on Debra. While I hadn't been with any of the women I worked with at that time, I had already spent many an evening disciplining the monkey while fantasizing about fucking Debra in every imaginable way. She had medium length auburn hair, crystal blue eyes, a beautiful body, and a demeanor that made you wonder whether you should salute her or make an attempt to bend her over the nearest furniture. I could tell this was going to be a morning where the salute was in order, though.
Debra cleared her throat a little and then matter-of-factly revealed my fate. "We have a Santa every year in the bank for three consecutive Fridays in December before Christmas. And, well, this year that Santa is going to be you, Paul."
"I see," I replied. "How did I get so lucky?"
"Alan, who was our loan officer before you, did it last year, but since we had to let him go.... Well, you're the only eligible candidate."
"So I have to where the next three Fridays?" I asked motioning towards the costume.
"That's right. But don't worry, it's not a big deal really. You just wear the costume and go about your regular business. You don't have to see lines of screaming brats or anything like that. It's actually a fun thing. You'll see."
"Yeah, sounds great," I chuckled.
"It will be fun Paul, I promise," she said. "It's only three days total."
"Only three days, huh?"
"This coming Friday, the Friday after when we have our annual branch party where you'll hand out presents, and then the following Friday which is the last one before Christmas. That's it."
"I guess I can handle that," I said.
"Trust me, you're going to have a good time doing this. Plus Santa always gets the best present, and I'll owe you one for being such a good sport."
"Okay, I'm your Santa!" With that we both laughed.
"Oh, I almost forgot," she said. "I always have a few tellers dress up as elves, too. I heard them laughing this morning when you came in and saw the Santa suit, and I don't think they realize they're going to be the branch elves this year yet. Care to come over with me while I give them the good news?"
"I'd love too!" I replied grinning ear-to-ear.
I walked with Debra over to her office where she picked up a fairly large cardboard box, and then we headed for the teller line. As Debra and I neared the tellers, they continued to whisper and giggle. While the branch had at least a dozen part-time and full-time tellers, there were usually never more than a half-dozen on duty at a time. I flirted with almost all of them everyday, but nothing serious had ever happened. Of all the tellers, two or three really stood out as nominees for the highly coveted "teller I'd most like to fuck" award. And, as luck would have it, they were all part of the group that was working that morning.
"I think you all know Mr. Claus...err..ahh..I mean Paul," Debra joked as she sat the box down in the nearest open window on teller row. With that all the tellers began to laugh out loud with a roar that made me blush slightly. "He's agreed to be our Santa this year." There was the obligatory feigned cheer and half-ass applause which Debra cut short when she dropped the bomb. "But there's even better news, ladies, you're all going to be the branch elves this year!"
What had been a room filled with the sound of giggles and laughs had grown silent in an instant. Silent except for the sound of me chuckling at their reactions, that is. As I regained my composure, Debra walked up to the line and opened the box she'd retrieved from her office. She pulled out a green outfit that frankly looked a little risque for wearing while working at a bank. The girls stood in shock and disbelief. There was a little whining, but all knew better than to challenge Debra overtly. She was, after all, the boss.
*
The first Friday of December arrived and I drove to work with a sense of impending doom. Hell, I don't even really dig on dressing up for Halloween so much–let alone wearing a Santa get-up in a place where I'm expected to transact serious business. "This totally sucks," I thought.
