Submitted for the April Fools Day Story Contest 2023.
-----
I was not in a particularly good mood for the few weeks prior to my fortieth birthday. For my entire life I was always planning for how my life was to be, what the future was to hold but now, the future was here. I was successful, my professional services were in demand by several large firms in the area, my retirement plan was well funded, my bank account was the envy of many and the world was at my beck and call. Still, forty loomed on the horizon as a large, ominous pall. Forty was middle aged. Forty was 'old.' How could I ever look a young woman in the eyes again? She would return the cold stare of a female looking for fun and excitement and not looking for an old man.
And to top it off, my birthday was the first of April. When I was younger, friends and family frequently pulled jokes on me for my birthday. One year when I was growing quickly, I was given a bunch of old clothes which were worn and tattered. Only when I frowned did my mom give me the real present; a complete, new wardrobe. Even my father got in on the pranks. I was given keys to a used Gremlin (how could I go to high school driving a Gremlin?) when I turned seventeen but it turned out they didn't even fit the ignition. When I pointed this out, my dad laughed and threw me the real keys and pointed out a brand-new Ford Escort sitting across the street. It wasn't the sexiest car for a teen, but it was new, waaaay better than an old Gremlin, had four wheels and got me around without trouble. I drove it until after I graduated from college and could afford a nicer rig. In college I even had a girlfriend give me a sly wink and promise me a sexy evening for my birthday, only to show up to a surprise birthday party for me by about twenty of my friends. I couldn't believe how horny I was going over to her place only to be shut down by all the people who jumped out yelling 'Surprise!'
Little did it matter that my wife of ten years was loving and supportive. How could she know what I was going through? She was merely thirty-four, approaching her prime. We had a wonderful life together which was loving, fun and sexy. I never once strayed since we were engaged, but the thought always crossed my mind if I were still young and still attractive and if anything ever happened to us, I would have a chance with the younger ladies. But at forty, all bets were off. How could I compete with younger, more virile men? Men with biceps rippling, men with full heads of dark hair, men with chiseled jaws and with not a hint of a middle-aged dad bod?
My mood blackened more by the day. I tried to hide it, but Suzanne knew how much I hated, deep down, the upcoming day. She tried to cheer me and please me, but all to no avail. Finally, she sat me down late one evening two weeks before the big day and lectured me how it was going to be.
"First thing, Honey, you are a pain in the ass to live with these days. Second, age happens. Get used to it. And finally, I happen to think you are the sexiest thing alive, so I expect you to snap out of it. I will not live the rest of my life with some old fart who acts old before his time."
"But I am an old fart, or at least I'll be one soon."
"No, you're not. I happen to think you're the hottest thing to ever come along. And men tend to age better than women, dammit. So, learn to live with it."
"Uh, Honey, are you thinking of something big for my birthday?"
"I hadn't really gotten that far..."
"Well, good. Don't make a big deal, OK? And please, no gag gifts or April Fools' gifts. I can't stand the thought of some big surprise party or anything like that."
"I wouldn't do that to you, but you need to perk up. Like, right now," she emphasized.
I tried to smile, tried to be good, but it was too fuckin' depressing. Once she realized this went beyond the usual temporary moodiness, she reached over and kissed me good night. After she snuggled up to me and as I drifted off to sleep, I thought I heard her whisper, "That's just what he needs for his birthday and I'm going to see he gets it."
I had forgotten that last remark by the next morning until she approached me and told me in no uncertain terms I was going out on my birthday and she was in charge. Over the next few days, the curiosity and wonder about the birthday surprise she planned almost outweighed my depression. She declined to answer any queries about the upcoming big night, apparently preferring to smile a mischievous smile and to stare away over my shoulder. When asked, she did promise it wouldn't be some big April Fools' thing.
By the big night on Saturday, I was quite intrigued. What was going to happen? What was the big present? How could she make this a special night, as she had promised me? I was told to wear my best suit, bring a light sport coat for the next morning and we were going to the big city for the night. It was a couple of hours away by car and we often went in to the city for fancy events, so at least I wasn't going to suffer the embarrassment of a fortieth birthday/April Fools' party in our small community.
She drove the Porsche smartly through the foothills and over the flats to town. When we arrived, I was pleased to see her pull up to a well-known, exclusive hotel. The valet took our car, the bellhop took the suitcase and she took my hand as we rode up to the top floor to a penthouse suite. After ordering a bottle of wine, we admired the view of the city and the mountains beyond. A night away in the big city with the one I love and I started to get frisky. I reached over and lightly stroked her breast through her blouse and she purred slightly but sat up, gave me a 'that's all' kiss and went to get ready for dinner. I reluctantly followed along. After a brief shower, I quickly shaved, donned the suit and prepared for our night out on the town.
Dinner was absolutely superb. The wine recommended was a first-rate Chardonnay from a small vineyard we had never heard of. Appetizers consisted of a mushroom delicacy I could not even begin to describe and the meal was presented with an artistic flair on huge platters painted by a local artist. Sorbet cleansed the palate between courses and dessert was a light, hazelnut torte. Cappuccinos rounded out the meal. We wandered hand-in-hand down the darkened streets back to the hotel, laughing and enjoying the evening. My birthday had never been mentioned except when she toasted me with her wine with the nearly silent words "To you on your big day, may you never forget how much I love you."
After the walk some of the buzz from the wine faded and my thoughts turned to something a bit more personal, a bit lustier. I reached over and fondled her ass as we slipped through the door and she turned saying mysteriously, "Not yet. Your birthday surprise is yet to come."
"You promised no April Fools' stuff, remember?"
"I remember, but I can still have a little personal surprise for you, can't I?"