"I love you, Stephanie," Derek said, his blue eyes fixed on mine.
"I love you too, Derek!" I replied, flipping my long blonde hair over my shoulder before wrapping my arms around his neck. Derek's tall, lanky frame towered over my own. We had been dating for almost a year by then, and I was starting to feel like Derek might not be the right guy for me.
"I have to get to class, but I'll see you tonight, right?" Derek asked.
"Yeah! I'll see you tonight," I agreed and gave him one last kiss before we parted ways. I turned to my best friend Ellie, who was waiting for me to say my goodbyes to Derek.
When we first started dating, I had been sure that Derek was the one for me. I had pictured us getting married and having babies someday, even though that was far down the road. I was serious about him, and many of my friends thought I was going overboard.
"He just likes you because you're a cheerleader," Ellie, my best friend, and fellow cheerleader pointed out. Ellie was tall with dark, Mediterranean features and high cheekbones like a model. "He even said that he loves cheerleaders, and that's why he's dating you."
"He was kidding!" I defended him.
"Do you really think a guy like Derek is ready to settle down after college? Come on, Stephanie. He's just not marriage material. You can do better." Ellie opened her arms to pull me in for a hug.
"Oh, I love him, Ellie!" I cried as she embraced me. Ellie and I had been friends since our cheer tryouts for Freshman year. We both made the squad, but now almost four years later, our time as college cheerleaders was coming to a close, and it was time to face our uncertain futures. I knew I shouldn't have majored in history, but I loved history. It was going to be hard to find a job after college, and it didn't look like Derek had his shit any more together than I did. Were all college students this lost?
Ellie patted my back in an attempt to soothe me before she said, "Has he gotten any better in bed? You know, like what we talked about?"
"Oh, my God!" I exclaimed. "Not really! I've tried talking to him about it, but it doesn't seem like he's into being rough, even though it turns me on! I even sent him some porn videos where the girl gets slapped around a little bit during sex."
"How did he respond?"
"He told me that he wasn't into hurting me. Period. Case closed. I don't think I'm going to get him to do the things I want," I said sadly.
"Wow. I thought Derek would be into it now that he understands what you actually want." Ellie gave me a sympathetic look.
"I did too. I thought all guys were secretly into being rough during sex, but now I'm not so sure. Do you think I'm crazy? Or weird? Is there something wrong with me?" I looked into Ellie's eyes and begged her to tell me the truth. I needed to know if I was asking too much.
"I think you just have the wrong guy. Most guys I've had sex with are into rough sex. The last guy I was with slapped me and called me a slut while he was fucking me. It was so hot! I came so good!" Ellie looked off into the distance as if she was reliving the rough sex in her mind.
"Who was it?"
"The guy who was rough with me?"
"Yes! Tell me! You never mentioned this before!" I begged her.
"Well, that's because it's kind of a secret."
"Kind of?"
"Well, he didn't tell me not to tell anyone, but I thought it would be best if I kept it to myself because it's someone you know," Ellie said mysteriously.
"Oh, my God! Who?"
"Okay..." Ellie leaned in dramatically. "You can't say anything to Derek about this, okay?"
"Okay, tell me!" I was jumping up and down with excitement.
"It's Devin."
"Devin Devin? Our Devin?" I asked. Devin was Derek's best friend in the world. They were both on the football team and did just about everything together, just like Ellie and me. While Derek was tall, white, and blonde, Devin was short and stocky with dark hair and brown skin.
"Yes, that Devin!" Ellie confirmed. I could feel my armpits begin to sweat. I started to feel a bit nauseous, as well. Ellie had fucked Devin.
"Oh, my God!" I exclaimed. "I...I..." I was at a loss for words. There was no way that Ellie could have known why I was so upset. I didn't even know why I was upset. I knew I needed to hold it together for her sake. I could fall apart after she left.
"Ellie, I know you came all the way over here to hang out, but I just realized that I forgot about an appointment I have with my tutor down in Sproul Hall. I'm sorry, I have to go!"
"Wow, really? That sucks. You want me to walk you down there?"
"No, you don't have to do that, Ellie. I'll stop by your apartment on my way home if you want."
"Yeah! I miss our girl time! I have the best movie for us to watch too!" Ellie tried to get me excited about it.
"Awesome! I can't wait!" I told her, hugging her one last time before walking down the path that would have led me to Sproul Hall. I waited until Ellie was out of sight before picking up my phone and dialing Devin's number.
"Hey there!" Devin's deep voice made my pussy instantly juicy. There was something insanely sexy about the way Devin spoke. I had been nursing a secret crush on him for months, but I didn't dare tell him about it. I couldn't do that to Derek. Could I?
"Hey. Are you busy right now? I'm all alone and walking toward Sproul Hall," I informed him.
"I'm totally free. Do you need some help with something?"
"I do, but you can't tell Derek. I'll tell you in person. Are you free?"
"Yeah. I'm at my apartment if you want to swing by. I have the best weed right now if you want to smoke out." My pussy was twitching as I imagined Devin smoking weed with me. I couldn't believe I was doing this.
"Sure. I can come by, but please remember, Derek can't know I'm going there."
"Fair enough. I'll see you at my place in ten?" He didn't seem upset that I had mentioned hiding our meeting from Derek. Did he know why I was coming to his house? Could he tell that I was craving something that Derek couldn't give me?
"Okay, see you there."
I changed my direction to head back up the hill to Devin's apartment. He was lucky enough to get one of the spacious on-campus apartments that were reserved for Seniors. I had tried to get one, but they usually went pretty fast. I texted him as I arrived. He opened the door to the building, wearing a muscle tank top and a pair of loose-fitting jeans.
"Hey," he said casually as he reached his hand out for mine to help me up.
"Hey!" I said with a little too much excitement. There was something about Devin that made me go crazy. I couldn't help how I felt about him, but there was a lot of guilt when I thought about Derek. I couldn't cheat on him with Devin. Could I? I was thinking about it, imagining the way he must have slapped Ellie and wishing that I could get hit like that. Now that I knew about Ellie and Devin hooking up, there was guilt about fucking over my best friend as well. Not to mention the jealousy I was feeling about Ellie and Devin fucking. I knew I had no claim on him, but I also wasn't expecting him to fuck my best friend. Nothing made me want him more than knowing he was fucking Ellie and that he had slapped her across the face. I wanted to be the one Devin was rough with.
"So, what brings you over here today? Weed? Let me grab my bong. Go ahead and have a seat on the couch." Devin gestured toward the plush, brown sofa, and I sat down.
"I didn't come for weed. I actually wanted to talk to you about something, but I mean, I'll take some weed if you've got it." I sounded nervous, and I tried to smile at Devin to reassure him that I was okay, but my smile felt forced.
"What do you want to talk to me about?" he asked as he returned with a bong in one hand and a jar of weed in the other. He sat down next to me and began to pack a bowl.
"So Ellie and I were talking today..." I began, but I didn't have the guts to finish that sentence. I looked around Devin's apartment. I had been there plenty of times, but I was always shocked at how much nicer Devin's apartment looked when compared to Derek's. It was well-kept for a guy's place. I had been to plenty of guys' apartments where they hadn't cleaned since the day they moved in. It looked like Devin stayed on top of his chores. The toilet was always clean, and there was a roll of toilet paper in the bathroom.
"Oh yeah? What's up with Ellie?" Devin asked. I noticed how his body tensed up when he said her name.
"She told me she's been seeing some guy, but she wouldn't tell me who," I lied. I wanted to see if he would come clean and tell me about his affair with Ellie or not.
"Well, good for her!" Devin said with feigned excitement. Even his smile was full of tension.
"I wonder who it could be..." I trailed off as Devin handed me the bong and a bright red lighter.
"Oh, thanks," I grabbed the lighter and proceeded to take a hit.
"It seems to me it's none of your business who Ellie has sex with unless she wants to tell you who this guy is," Devin advised me.
"She told me it's someone I know. It's driving me crazy. She never keeps secrets from me!"
"Everyone has secrets," Devin explained. "Not everything is your business."
"She told me that he was rough during sex and that he slapped her around, even in the face!" I felt my whole body flush and the wetness gathered in my panties.
"Oh, are you worried about her? Like it might be too rough?" Devin asked as I passed the bong to him.
"No, nothing like that. I'm...jealous. I wish that Derek would fuck me like that, but he won't be rough with me. He doesn't like it, and I'm afraid he's the wrong guy for me." I felt tears spring up in my eyes. I realized how real that fear was.
