I was only eighteen when I discovered that I wasn't normal. I grew up in a normal Mexican home where my parents were quite strict. They didn't let me start dating until I was seventeen and for that reason I was still a virgin when my parents took me to the dorm I would be living in without them. My mother fussed over me and my father was oddly distant. He looked like he was holding back tears. I was sad about leaving my childhood home but I was also relieved. I had worked hard to get an academic scholarship to a university that was just far away enough that my family wouldn't show up unannounced, but close enough for us to plan visits.
By the time my parents got into the minivan and drove away I could feel the butterflies in my stomach multiplying. I made my way up the stairs to the third floor where I ran into a group of guys. One of them looked me over, eyeing my body in ways I wasn't used to. The guys at my school back home were always respectful of me. They knew I was a good girl and a virgin. They didn't bother trying to flirt with me, opting to talk to the popular girls that were known to "put out" instead.
"Hey!" the guy called to me. He was tallish with brown hair so dark that it was almost black and a crooked smile that made him look like he was smirking.
"Hi," I said awkwardly. I wasn't used to meeting new people.
"We are having a little thing in out dorm tonight. Let me see your phone." He laid his hand out in front of me expectantly. I didn't know what else to do so I fished my phone from my back pocket and handed it to him. He began to type into my phone and then handed it back.
"I'll text you the invite soon," he assured me.
"How can you be having a party tonight? Isn't this the day everyone moves in?"
"We are all friends from high school and we're sharing a dorm. We've been planning this party since graduation. I'm Rhett," he stuck his hand out to shake mine and I tentatively took his.
"I'm Hilda," I told him.
"Ilda? I like your accent," he shook my hand. I appreciated that he said my name without the hard "H" of the English language. I loved the way my name sounded in Spanish but hated the harsh "H" sound when my teachers tried to read my name out loud.
"Thanks."
"We'll see you tonight, right?"
"Sure," I agreed but I wasn't sure if I would go. I had never been to a real party before. My parents had made sure of that. I wasn't completely innocent. Since my parents wouldn't let me go out, I watched a lot of porn on my phone and masturbated a lot. Most of what I watched was gangbang porn. Somehow watching girls get fucked by more than one guy seemed to make me cum.
Now that I was in college I was ready to do some of the stuff I'd seen in those nasty porn videos. I wasn't sure if I even liked parties or if they were safe but there was something inside of me that was curious. Would these guys try something sexual with me? My curiosity pushed me to go. I spent the day unpacking, trying to find something to wear to a college party. I finally decided on a sundress, since it was still rather warm outside. It wasn't like I was going far. They simply lived on the other side of the building.
My roommates hadn't arrived yet and I knew that some people weren't going to move in until the day that classes started but my parents had agreed that I needed time to set up my room and get my things in order before I started. I walked by myself across the building until I found room 315. I could hear loud music blaring from inside and I tried knocking more loudly. The door finally opened and there was a tall, blonde guy with long, lanky limbs and a protruding Adam's apple.
"Hey! Come on in! Join the party!"
"Thanks!" I entered the party and looked around, shocked by what I was seeing. I had never seen a bong before but there were several of them getting passed around. A heavy cloud of smoke hung in the air. White lines of cocaine decorated the glass coffee table and people were taking turns snorting them from rolled up dollar bills. Alcohol was freely flowing from a keg and I watched as someone did a keg stand. At the time, I wasn't sure what any of this was, but there was plenty of time to learn.
I hugged the wall with my behind, not sure if I should just turn around and run or join the throng of partiers. I watched for a long time before anyone said anything to me.
"Want a hit?" a guy asked, holding a pipe filled with weed up to me to grab.
"I've never smoked before," I tried to be polite.
"Never? Well, would you like to try?"
"I think so but I don't know how." The guy held the pipe up to my lips and told me to suck. I sucked the smoke into my lungs and immediately began to cough. I couldn't seem to stop coughing.
"Oh no!" I heard a familiar voice. "Come with me," someone grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled me away from the situation. It took me a few moments to realize that it was Rhett.
"Come back to my room. I'll take care of you."
"You will?" I asked between coughs.
"I sure will. Would you like that?" There was a sultriness to his voice that made me nervous. Maybe my mom had been right about parties. She had warned me that guys were going to get me drunk or high and then try to take advantage of me. I wasn't sure what I would do if Rhett tried anything. He helped me onto his bed and then he leaned in and kissed me.
I'd had a few kisses over the years but none of them felt the way that this kiss did. It felt empty and meaningless, like it didn't matter. I kissed Rhett back, enjoying the free feeling inside of me as I felt my brain and body separate. The weed had lowered my inhibitions and I found myself reaching out to feel Rhett's chest with my hands.