Monogamy?

Hi, Roger here, to relate a discussion and its aftermath that veered mightily from the topic.

A couple of years ago, my wife Karen and I invited friends Sandy and her husband Jim over to our place for dinner and drinks. Karen Sandy are best friends, having met and bonded as spouses at a corporate function while Jim and I had gotten shanghaied by our boss's boss, who wanted to go on... and on... about the corporation, how he was doing marvelous things, how we had bright futures, and so forth. Jim and I did all the appropriate nodding and attention-paying, and by the time we extricated ourselves - calling over another coworker to be fresh bait for the angling boss, then fleeing for the bar ostensibly for refills - the wives had bonded and were well on their way to a gleeful if slightly soused evening of making fun of all things corporate and most things male - easy targets, but they were having fun, no offenses taken.

That led to our getting together as a foursome maybe once a month, since we lived in the same urban sprawl but about a half hour away from each other. We were all in our early 30s, in no rush to have kids yet, but knowing that was part of both our long-term goals. Jim and I were in different departments, but our job lives crossed frequently, so we kept in touch easily.

For the record, I'm about 5'11", 180, brown/green, medium build. Jim's 2nd generation Italian and it shows in his black hair and dark eyes, a bit swarthy 5'9" or so, probably my weight or so, since he's chunkier. We're both in decent shape, neither of us Adonises, but we'll do, or so the wives kindly tell us.

Karen and Sandy are similar yet far from twins. They were each about 5'5" or so, medium builds, Caucasian as all get-out, sharing Scottish roots as I also have. Sandy is well-named, with light brown hair and hazel eyes, while Karen's a definite brunette with brown eyes that hint of an Eastern European past mixed in. Karen's got the edge up top, with a wonderful and firm 34C to what I'd guess is a 34B for Sandy, while Sandy has a nicer ass (don't tell Karen I said so & hers is fine too), with a sway to her walk that is magnetic and mesmerizing. Overall, Karen's trimmer, Sandy more voluptuous thanks to her more generous hips, despite the cup sizes.

The discussion that night ranged all over the place, with dinner dishes done, all of us casual and with that Friday evening thankfulness going, aided by wine for the ladies and bourbon for us guys. Our living room has four comfortable easy chairs arranged facing center, with side tables, so we were guy-girl alternating, with drinks at our sides, relaxed and just chilling.

Eventually we somehow go onto the latest gender issues that society is wrestling with, each of us fine with our personal cis-gendered heterosexuality, and fine with letting others pursue their own blisses. That in turn led to someone asking the difference between polygamy and polygyny, and that led onto an etymology of all sorts of sexual terms, with the quick cell phone checks filling in background on just when and how the various terms were introduced, or morphed, into English. Fortunately, as friends, the ideas flowed in good spirits, possibly aided by the adult beverages.

One of the terms we addressed was "monogamy." Interesting term, in that we all agreed that we were "monogamous," in the vernacular, and thought that was the most successful strategy for a culture to adopt. Hmm. We were prevaricating, but we were thinking we were sincere, I thought. In turn, we admitted that while our society claims to like monogamy, there are lots who don't follow society's dicta in that regard.

So, just to clear things up, "monogamy" is, according to the internet ('means true, right?) is being married to one spouse at a time, or more specifically to be having sexual relation with only one person at a time, or zoologically to have only one mate at a time, or something like that.

The discussion went from there, revisiting the "sexual relations" excuse that became (in)famous. Just where do you draw the line, and is it a wavering line, or a gray area, or just up to the two (or more) people involved to call what the rules of the game are?

Karen flatly declared that monogamy implied, and for her required, sexual fidelity within marriage, which in turn meant no sexual intercourse between a married person and anyone else but that person's married spouse. Easy to say. I wasn't about to disagree, having chosen my usually favored approach of sitting back and letting the stew simmer before jumping in.

Jim countered, "Well, ok, then. What about forms of sexual affection that fall short of intercourse but are more than just a handshake?" Thatta boy, Jim, took my next line right away.

Karen argued, "Well, there's a line somewhere. It's sort of like that Supreme Court ruling about not being able to define it but knowing what pornography is."

"I think that was 'obscenity,' but point taken," I offered.

"OK, how about cheek kissing hello?" Sandy chimed in, warming to the subject.

"That would be ok, duh. Everybody does that, right?"

"Yes, and it's sort of flirty to do that, so how about flirting?" Sandy pursued.

I looked at Sandy, and she had a smile going, enjoying the discussion and flirting herself by taking it further. She met my look and the smile widened as we held each other's gaze a bit longer than needed. I knew that we'd just flirted over that, and wondered if held gazes would qualify in Karen's violation of monogamy view.

"I think it would depend," Karen said.

I was waiting on my opportunity, saw it, and took it. I got up, leaned over Sandy's chair, and kissed her, on the lips, gently but insistently, and not quickly. I'd say I held it maybe 15 seconds, and enjoyed every bit of it, and was very, very pleased that she didn't resist at all beyond a bit of a jerk of surprise when I first made contact. I resisted mightily introducing a bit of tongue to see her reaction, but held off, just doing a kiss.

Then I stood and returned to my chair - a whole foot and a half or so, sat down, and said, "OK, now, have I trespassed beyond the bounds of monogamy?"

Karen was seething, maybe realizing that nothing sexual per se had happened, but that she had felt a distinct negative emotional reaction. How could she object without sounding prudish? Jim was pretty much at a loss, but not pleased about it. Sandy was grinning, as she got where I was going, I thought.

I continued, "Now, I'd say I'm still monogamous, but that I was treading on thin ice there, with Karen here to see it. I'd bet that on reflection, she'd admit to being more accepting with that than if she'd walked in on us doing exactly the same thing but behind her back. And, I'll bet that there's some jealousy going on in Jim' brain right now. To settle that, Jim, would you please get even, so we can continue?" And I sat back.

Jim, to his credit, lost no time in catching on to the offer and to rising to stand in front of Karen. As he started to lean over her, she raised a hand to stop him.

"I don't know what you're getting at, but..." she started before he invaded her space and kissed her, also gently, not an attack but more of an affectionate gesture, although it was mouth-to-mouth, full-on. Like me, he held it about 15 seconds, then stepped back, the lips being the only contact between them. - except for Karen's hand, which ended up on Jim' chest but didn't push him away, just rested there, out of ideas.

"Feel better?" I asked Jim, and he nodded, not enthusiastically.

"How about you?" I asked, turning to Karen. You've just done what I did, kissed a friend, and I think you're still well on the safe side of monogamy."

"And while I'm at it," I continued, "How was it?"

"Very nice," Sandy volunteered quickly, and we exchanged that conspiratorial smile again.

"Yeah, gotta admit, nice," Jim said.

"And you, Karen?" I asked.

"OK, it was nice. I like kissing, and I admit it, it was nice - he's a good first kisser." she said quietly.

"I'm glad we're in agreement. Let me toss this out while we're at it. Part of those kisses was that they were NOT with our spouses, and that it was therefore a bit forbidden. No chance of pregnancy, no need for jealousy since our mates were observers, but still, somehow forbidden. I think that element heightens things, and I think that sharing through watching even makes our intimacy with our spouses a little moreso."

For the next several minutes, everyone tossed around those ideas, and the general consensus was that I was right - even Karen agreed, a bit sheepishly, and I caught a glimpse of her exchanging a lowered eyes blushing look with Jim.

"I guess this is leading somewhere?" Jim said.

I resisted the impulse to call him clueless, and continued. "Yeah, I guess it is. Here's the cut to the chase part. We can, as friends, knowing that we don't want to cross that bright monogamy line of intercourse, still play with each other this evening. Our spouses are in attendance and will have the opportunity to indulge in the same activities, so there's no need for jealousy to arise - it's an even score going in and coming out. I'd be excited to play around a bit with my good friend Sandy, and I'm fine with Karen and Jim doing the same. In fact, I fully expect to be as turned on just watching that part. Call me a voyeur, but call me an exhibitionist, too."

"Whew, that's a lot to take in!" Jim pretty much gasped. Sandy silently smiled her assent.

"In a word, no." My Karen vetoed. Oh well, I tried.

"The lady says no," I said, trying to keep good cheer in my voice. "Well, it was an idea. Let's not shut it down totally, though. Give it some thought, and next time we're together, we can A: pretend it was never mentioned, B: reconfirm a no vote from any attendees - no pressure here, or C: take a walk on the just this edge of the wild side." With that, I gave up, and unfortunately, something of a pall set over the group, and after some awkward small talk and gulping of what was left of our beverages, Jim and Sandy said their goodnights, and Karen and I were left to do the light clean-up required.

"What was that all about?!" Karen accused me with her question virtually when the front door was closed.

"Sorry, sorry!" I pleaded. "I just think we're great friends with them, and that human beings have a long history of liking to go off reservation, and that since we've played around with some pillow talk, very successfully, thank you, I might add, that you'd be amenable to some no-risk cavorting. You'd get to get up close with a partner you can trust, who's basically attractive, and show off some of your skills, and maybe get a treat of a new one or two. We could set whatever boundaries we want - we've already pretty much said no actual intercourse, but that leaves a lot of other options, from just getting naked to whatever - short of intercourse - everyone agrees to. Just a somewhat more adult game of spin the bottle or something."

"Are you sure this is not just an excuse to get to screw Sandy? I know that you've checked her out in that bikini at the pool, and I'm jealous as hell of her if you must know."

"You're jealous of her?!?! You've got nothing to be jealous of - either in my actions or in her appearance! I'd take you over her even if I'd never met either one of you, any day!" That part was true - Karen's mixture of breast and ass and lips and whatever else are exactly right for me, and I've always felt extremely fortunate to have linked up with her.

"Yeah, so you say," Karen said back.

"Hey, the deal still stands - just give it some thought, maybe you could make a point of fantasizing about Jim and you - you said the kiss was nice, and I know you dig those wrestler shoulders of his. Will you do that? I promise, I won't push this, and I won't resent things if you don't change your mind. Just give it some thought, ok?"

"OK." said in a very not-ok tone.

"Thanks - I'll clean up the rest - you go get ready for bed, and don't let the worry thing get to you. I love you and only you, you know."

"Yeah, me too," she said over her shoulder as she left the kitchen.

By the time I got through cleaning up and got to bed myself, the lights were off and she was wrapped in the sheets, eyes closed, a pretty clear sign that the 'no' still stood.

The next week was as usual, but Karen informed me on Monday, in a totally oh by the way manner, that she'd had coffee with Sandy, and that we were dining at their place the coming Friday. My heart skipped a beat, and my dick absorbed that quickly. I was leery of even asking about the plan for Friday, since Karen didn't volunteer anything but that the dinner was set. As the week went by, I got more and more anxious, as in energized, while Karen gave no hints of anything at all.

I'd called Jim at work and found that Sandy was being as obtuse as Karen, not willing to divulge anything but having dinner, and reminding him that Karen had said no, and as far as she was concerned, that was that, and hadn't we all agreed the friendship was the worthwhile thing. He was as antsy as I was, and as for the original idea, but we were both not driving this train.

Friday came, work done, cleaned up and dressed nice-casual. I was in typical decent shorts and golf shirt, Karen in a mid-thigh light dress that I knew from experience how to quickly undo - buttons all the way down the front. It wasn't sexy per se, and allowed the wearer to control things. The way Karen wore it was modest - no plunging neckline or side-slit skirt, but was just right for patio dining with friends, which was all she seemed to have implied so far.

We got to their house, delivered wine and a salad Karen had made, and exchanged chaste friend-to-friend hugs all around. Like Karen, Sandy was simply dressed, in a wraparound thing dress that tied at the front waist in a bow. Nothing special, just good friends and all.

A nice pasta meal later, with wine, of course, we were pretty relaxed, and I think Jim and I were resigned to the playtime idea being kaput. Then Sandy dropped the bomb.

"Here's the deal, guys," she led off. "We're not pairing off for the sexual antics that Roger suggested last week. But we are ok with a group massage. The four of us, one person at a time getting the massage, so we're all seeing exactly what's going on, and so we're all equally complicit, or innocent, as the case may be. Karen and I like massages, as you guys know, and I'll bet you guys like them too - not the sleazy massage parlor kind of thing, but the real, relaxing spa kind of thing. Or, at least starting out like that. Are you guys up for that?" she said, looking at Jim and me.

"Sure," we said simultaneously, without conferring. Getting massaged by two women?? Getting to team massage both a wife and a non-wife? Who's not up for that??? It likely occurred to neither of us that we'd be also getting massaged by a guy - I know it did certainly not occur to me that I'd be massaging a guy.

"We've got a king-sized bed as you know, and I remade it this afternoon with a mattress cover and sheets that I'm not worried about getting messed up by a little oil, so let's adjourn to there - bring your drinks!" Wow - I was seeing Sandy in yet another new light, and was amazed that my Karen, silently as she was, was going along with it. Later I found out from her that Sandy had proposed this and convinced her when they lunched earlier in the week. Miracles do happen.

As we walked down their hallway, I was wondering about this whole process. Who'd go first? Last? Wearing what? Touching where? Any anatomy off limits? That sort of thing. I should have known Sandy would be way ahead on those thoughts.

When we got to their bedroom door, there was a sign on it: "This is not a clothing optional area." As Sandy led the way in, she tugged at that bow on her dress, and then shrugged it off in one smooth move! She presented a most voluptuous ass for our appreciation, but not for long.

She turned and said, "Like the sign says, clothing is not an option!" She laughed at appreciation of her own joke, but stood there, blatant in her nudity. Her breasts were firm and tipped with small, hard nipples - a sign? Her pubes were waxed or shaved to a small, close-clipped triangle. Her tan lines emphasized the bare breasts and framed what must be a scant bikini indeed.

Karen followed her into the room while Jim and I stood at the doorway, but then before Karen could doff any clothes, Sandy said, "Here, let me help you with that," and turned Karen to face us. Karen was blushing mightily, but looked determined to follow through, and Sandy was obviously enjoying the whole thing, as she reached around Karen from behind and very deliberately crouched down and started unbuttoning Karen's dress from the bottom up.

Karen reacted reflexively, holding the dress to shield her, but not resisting Sandy's hands. Sandy managed to look like she was caressing as she unbuttoned, very gracefully, slowly and steadily, and soon the buttons were undone from bottom to top.

Karen stood, holding the dress together, not moving. So Sandy, ever the leader of this thing, moved around to face Karen, shielding our view from Karen - not from that delectable ass of Sandy's, understand. I heard Sandy say softly, "C'mon, this is what we talked about, and they're going to love it, and so will you." We saw Sandy move Karen's hands to her side, then slide the dress off Karen's shoulders, letting it fall. "Ready?" she said softly again, and I guess Karen must have nodded, since Sandy then moved back to being behind Karen, leaving my wife absolutely naked. I hadn't even registered that she hadn't worn underwear, or maybe she'd taken it off at some time at their place. In any event, there she was, gorgeous, almost shuddering in her embarrassment, for no reason I could think of (the room was warm, I realized, so it wasn't temperature-related). She had every right to be proud, to thrust her breasts out at us assertively, to claim her world, but she was still the shrinking shyness - a beautiful shrinking shyness, but one I hoped would emerge a bit more self-assured as the night went on. Maybe Karen's passivity was her way of establishing credible deniability if needed, but she was certainly not resisting, just a bit deer in the headlights about the way things were going.

Since it wasn't new to me, I took a moment to watch the others. Sandy had moved back around to gaze at Karen's slightly trimmed patch, while Jim was locked onto her breasts. They're bigger than Sandy's, and I sensed that Jim was a big breast advocate who might have felt a bit envious of me for having access to Karen's full C+ set. Of course, the idea of the night was that we'd all get a feel, maybe a taste as well, of all the assets on hand. I did notice that Karen's nipples were erect, usually a sign of her arousal, but I couldn't confirm that in this setting.

After a moment of artistic appreciation, Sandy took Karen by the hand, backed up several feet to make room, and announced, "OK, guys, enough ogling of the wives - our turn. Off with the duds, right now!"

Jim and I entered the room, and we both knew we weren't about to undress each other. I made the suggestion, "Together, shoes then shirts then the monty, ok?" and Jim nodded.

We stood next to each other, facing the women, and in tandem, shucked off shoes and socks, then shirts, pausing a minute to let the wives take in his fully hirsute chest, and my much less hairy but not bare chest. He's an Italian by heritage so comes by it naturally; I'm a mix of European genes, more Nordic than Mediterranean, not that it matters, and it didn't seem to matter to the ladies. He's also stockier, with broader shoulders and thicker biceps and thighs. I'm the track guy, lower body fat so probably for the women better abs, trimmer waist.