My wife had been gang-fucked by my son and his friends last night.
I woke up on the couch in the game room, where I'd passed out at the late hour that I got home.
Saturday was Steph's volunteer day -- she worked the reception desk at an animal shelter in the morning, and then spent two hours at a nearby city's library. By the time I woke up, she was already gone. "Wow, dodged THAT bullet," I said to myself. Better brace for the shitstorm, though, when she gets home.
Strangely enough, though, everything went smoothly. I went into work for a couple hours, came home about 5 or 6 p.m., and she had dinner ready for the two of us. Todd, she said, was staying over at Brian's house tonight. No doubt they were going to watch their video and pour over the lurid pictures they'd shot on their phones the night before.
Sunday, Monday and then Tuesday creeped into normalcy and came and went. We had a normal Christmas and New Year's, with Steph and I going to one of my co-worker's parties and Todd spending the four-day weekend in Mexico with Brian and his parents (And yes, I made sure both parents would be there, and talked to all of them on Dec. 31 from Cancun, so I knew things were legit on that end).
I was beginning to think those couple of bizarre days were just isolate incidents -- two incredible sexual outings that ended with everyone getting their lustful gangbang fill, and my wife none the worse for wear, and none the wiser, either.
Pretty soon I had a wrestling tourney to cover in San Antonio, as one of the Houston area's best grapplers was facing the top wrestler in the nation from a San Antonio school. Steph said "Sure!" when I invited her. Why not go to San Antonio, a tourist town, when it was 68 degrees on the second weekend in January?
We got there and checked in to our hotel. Steph wanted to see the brand new indoor pool at the Drury Plaza. I told her I'd call her from the wrestling venue. Trevor Oakdell was in the 152-weight class, so I knew I wouldn't be gone long.
When I got to the arena, I found out the meet had been expanded to a quad, four teams instead of the dual meet I thought I was going to be covering. Oakdell had already wrestled a match against an Austin school opponent, so I went to check the schedule. Quad meets are a scheduling nightmare. I found out that The Woodlands (our hometown school) had only squared off in three of their 14 matches thus far, and the match everyone had come to see -- Oakdell vs. The Woodland's Daniel Martin -- wasn't up for another hour or so.
Time to call Steph, I said, as I walked to the concession area for a hot dog and Coke. It was there that I ran into Martin's father in line. We chatted a bit, and I found out we'd both stayed at the Drury Plaza downtown that night. He said they were heading back right after the match, as Dan had some college visitation info to work through on Sunday. I told him we were going to stay Saturday night and take in some of the Riverwalk sights and Mexican food joints before going back. He gathered up his food and we shook hands as he headed off to the stands.
About 30 seconds later I felt a hand on my shoulder. I thought Mr. Martin had forgot to say something when I turned around -- it was Anthony and Marvin ("Dude Guy") right behind me!
"Hey Mr. C.," Anthony said. "You here covering the tournament?" I totally forgot that Anthony's little brother, Robert, was wrestling in the 126-weight class. "Oh, yeah, here to see how Martin does against Oakdell," I said. I saw how the "Dude Guy" was staring at me the whole time I talked with Anthony.
"Heard you tell Mr. Martin that you are staying at the Drury Plaza? So are WE! I think everybody from The Woods is," he said, referring to The Woodlands as "The Woods," which everyone from that area does.
"Yep. Steph and I checked in about 10 p.m. last night," I said. The words had slipped out of my mouth before I realized that the last time they had seen Steph, they were fucking her brains out.
Then Dude broke his silence. "Is your wife here, Mr. C?" I paused and then said, "No, she's at the hotel, waiting for me to get back. This crazy quad schedule has wrestlers on all four mats, and it never seems like anyone gets anything done."
Anthony said his brother, Robert, had already wrestled but lost. I grabbed my dog, chips and Coke and told them I needed to head back to my table. "See you later, Mr. C.," Anthony said.
As I walked over to get napkins, a straw, and mustard and ketchup for my dog, I watched Anthony and "Dude" get out of line and head for the front doors. They were leaving. Anthony was on the phone. About 30 seconds later I saw his brother walk by me, gym bag over his shoulder and beside his mom, who fortunately didn't see me (she's a real bitch; I hate to even see her, let alone talk to her).
The Grimaldi's were probably headed home. Good thing, I thought. I don't want to run into Crabby -- er, ah, Cathy -- and ruin our weekend on the Riverwalk, I thought.
About an hour later, Oakdell was tossing and dragging Dan Martin around mat no. 1, using him like a rag doll to score points at will. The kid was as talented as we'd heard, and I felt sorry for Mr. Martin sitting over there, having to watch his son get destroyed. I went down and interviewed the state champ after the match, and got words with The Woods coach on Martin's misfortune. I was returning to my laptop to start my article and ship it in, when Steph called.
"Hey hon," she said. "You on your way?"
"Yeah, I'll be there in about an hour, maybe two."
"Guess who's here?" she queried. "Anthony. Grimaldi. From down the street. Yeah, did you see his brother play today? I guess he didn't so good."
My wife has never been "keen" on sports terminology, even though it's my living. "I'm going to get this story filed, find a great Wi-Fi source here, then come back."
"OK. Take your time. I'm going down to the pool. Anthony said his mom might be down there," Steph said.
I froze. My mind was doing flips, thinking nothing but bad things could happen. But if Crabby Grimaldi was going to be there, nothing would happen. She kills the mood anywhere just by walking into the room. If she's down there, Steph will talk her ear off, and I'll be back before they know it.
I got my interviews played back, rapped out my story on the laptop and packed up to leave. I tried to call Steph, but it went right to her Voicemail. "Maybe Crabby G. is talking HER ears off," I chuckled.
I wouldn't want to see that woman in a bathing suit; she must weigh about 250 if she weighs a pound, and that's the God's honest truth. I told Steph's Voicemail that I was headed to the car, and I'd be there in about 20-25 minutes.
I remembered that I needed a results sheet, so I ran over to the official scorer's table. Carla, The Woodlands' athletic director's assistant, walked me to a nearby trainer's room, which was acting as "sports desk central." I did not realize how much media this Oakdell kid was drawing.
While there, I ran into Alan Little, who had worked the sports copy desk with me "back in the day" at the Austin American-Statesman. We chatted about the match, about Oakdell, and about "the old times" on the Statesman c-desk.
I told him I needed to get going. We swapped phone numbers, in case he's ever in the Houston area or if I am ever in Bulverde, whatever the hell that is. On the way to the car I tried to call Steph, and this time she picked up after the second ring.
"Hey hon, I'm just about done here," I said. There was this brief silence on the other end -- I thought my phone had cut out. "Steph, are --"
"Yeah, I'm right here hon." She said. "Are you ... on your way? Right now?"
"Yes, but it'll probably be another half-hour before I get there. This place is clear up in the 'burbs from the downtown Drury."
"Just ... hurry ...hurry ... will you," she said. "I need something in my stomach."
"OK, I'm on my way. I wanna go down to one of those Riverwalk restaurants and get me a big, fat juicy steak."
"Ohhhhhhhhh," Steph said. "Oh, that sounds so-o-o-o-o-o good. But hurry ... hu-r-r-r-r-r-r-ry," she said, ending the call.
When I walked out to my car, it was starting to spit rain. I stood fumbling for my keys in my pocket when I glanced down and -- I saw my flat right front tire. DAMMIT. I wasn't going to change it in the rain, so I climbed in, called AAA, gave them the arena address, and waited for their announced 45-minute arrival.
I called Steph's cellphone to tell her I'd be a little later than expected, but it rang to Voicemail. I left another message and sat ... and sat ... and sat. Finally, with the rain now pummeling my windshield, the AAA guy showed up. It was 4:45 p.m. -- nearly two hours after Oakdell had pounded Martin, and over an hour since I last talked to Steph.
The AAA guy got my flat tire off and the spare tire mounted in no time. I paid him, tipped him well for working in the rain, and tried to call Steph again. Still to Voicemail. I was beginning to get worried; I hope she'd walked down to the Drury café to get a quick snack in order to take her meds. She doesn't do well on an empty stomach.
I pulled up to the Drury's valet parking about 5:30, having to go slow through town on that donut spare tire out of my trunk. As I was entering the lobby, I ran into ... Crabby. "Shit," I thought. "Maybe she didn't see --"
"Oh YOU-WHOO!!THERE you are!" Crabby bellowed, "Anthony said he'd seen you here today." Her "you-whoos" were like fingernails on a chalkboard. She sashayed her body on over, gave me one of her huge, rib-shattering and internal-organ-crushing hugs, and said she was glad to see me.
We shared a few sentences of totally meaningless gibberish, and then Mr. Grimaldi called through the open sliding doors, "Come on, Kat, we're leaving!" ('Kat,' I thought ... how can he get away with calling her Kat? Didn't he mean Hippo?)
"Well, must go. Toodles. And tell your precious Stephanie that I said hi, and that I'm sorry I missed her," Crabby said as she turned and left.