Copyright Β© 1996
As I write this, it is the beginning of a harsh winter here in New England. Already, snow covers the ground and vicious winds cut into my face as I go to the mail box to get the old-fashioned snail-mail. On the top of the pile is a letter with a return address that instantly ignites inner flames. I am transported back to summer, to a time that was warm, for more than one reason. I run back to the house, sit in front of my wood stove, and contemplate the envelope. Before even opening it, I want to enjoy the clear and palpable recollections of that day in August.
Lucy is a friend who I don't get to see very often. She's a tiny woman, maybe just five feet tall and 95 pounds, bright red hair, very pretty with unusually large breasts for her small frame. We were roommates and great buddies in college, but now she lives in New York City, and my business rarely takes me to her vicinity; in fact, I do my best to avoid going into the Big City. When we do get together, it is usually for only an hour or two over lunch. So it was, with both anticipation and trepidation, that I accepted when she invited me to spend a long weekend at her parents' camp in the Poconos. A lot of family would be there, and I wasn't sure if I would fit in. I wasn't even sure if Lucy and I would really hit it off like we did so many years ago. Having a lunch date is not the same as being together for several days!
I drove my cute little Miata down to pick her up, and then we headed west on I-80. It's amazing how quickly the urban, domesticated sprawl turns into the untamed forests and hills of northwestern New Jersey. As we tooted along with the top down and the wind mussing our hair, I asked Lucy what had led her to invite me on this trip, when we hadn't done anything like this before. She kind of danced around the question, talking about how we really should have done this years ago. But I could tell she was being evasive. So I pinned her down with a direct question: "Lucy, something is going on, isn't it? Are you trying to match me up with someone? Because if you are, I think you should let me in on the game plan. I don't like surprises."
OK, I admit that this isn't always true. In fact, I usually do like a surprise. It gives me a tingle. But I guess I was trying to keep some amount of blustery equanimity as we headed into her family's pressure-cooker (or so I pictured it). I didn't want the awkwardness of a blind date to be piled on top of everything else. I guess I was a bit fragile, so I wanted to forbid her from playing the matchmaker.
It's kind of in my nature to think that I have things like this figured out, so I was most surprised by Lucy's response to my somewhat confrontational remarks. "Oh Sue, that's not it at all. I can see how you might have thought that, and you're are right that there is something going on. But it is not about matching you up, it's about matching me up. There is going to be someone else there, and the idea of seeing him has me going crazy. I invited you to be with me so that you can help me through this thing. I was being selfish about it, and I should have told you what was happening."
It took me while to get Lucy to tell me all about this guy, but I think I can summarize it by telling you that Lucy has three siblings. The oldest is a brother, and he has a best friend named Chet. To hear Lucy tell it, he must be a clone of Robert Redford. She has had a gigantic secret crush on Chet since childhood, but instead, he had flings with both of Lucy's older sisters. Those relationships simmered down many years ago, and Chet has remained a close family friend, almost a second brother to all the girls. Because of the pseudo-familial role that he has, Lucy has never told anyone how much she desires Chet-it seemed almost incestuous to her. Plus, he has been married for many of the intervening years. Since the whole thing makes her nervous, she has tried to avoid being around him as much as possible. His family has their camp next to Lucy's family's place, and when she knew he would be in residence, Lucy would find an excuse to stay away.
He had been divorced for several years, and Lucy decided that she couldn't let this infatuation fester anymore. This was the weekend that she wanted to act on her long-suppressed passion. At the very least, she needed to tell him what had been going on for her. Who knew what would happen after that. My role was to be there for her to confide in, to support her and to egg her on if her determination flagged.
"Why me?" I asked, and she answered, "When we were in college, I could talk to you about these kinds of things, about crushes and desires and..... even sex. Since then, I really haven't had someone that I could open up to like that. I'm sure that you remember some of that. You know, it was the Sexual Revolution, and we were kind of wild and crazy."