Copyright © Daniel Choquet 2018
*
"You what?"
"I know. I'm so sorry. I know you were going to be my first. But sometimes ... sometimes it's just so ... like I can't stop myself. Like, you remember..."
It took a moment, but then Steve did remember. Yes, that evening. They had been kissing. They were young. Didn't really know how. But something had happened. Suddenly. All he knew was that suddenly, her hand, the hand he loved, the hand she used in such endearing ways when making a point, her hand had suddenly found its way around his cock.
Steve wasn't like Karen. Steve asked for permission, and had asked on that occasion. Was her hand still there? Maybe. All he knew was fair is fair. And he wanted so desperately to do with her, well, the closest thing to what she had done to him. Maybe he thought on some level that it wasn't really a fair request. After all, permission to place his hand against her most profoundly female place was so much more. Her answer, without hesitation, had been yes. YES. Nothing in the universe equals
yes
from the lips of a woman. So of course he remembered. It would remain the most erotic moment of his life.
He should have been consumed with jealousy. He should have screamed that this was the end for them. But as she sat there looking at him, a little sad, but mostly calm, his mind went down an unexpected path. He couldn't help but imagine how it must have happened. Had Dwayne asked first? Yes, of course, he was someone who would ask. And of course, she must have been consumed by desire as she had been back on that evening years ago. The evening of the grab. As Steve felt the stiffening take hold, he knew. Of course she had said yes. Yes, that
yes
had been a violation. But somehow the pain of the violation was rapidly being challenged by the realization of what had happened. In the end, it was unthinkable that her
yes
could be anything but beautiful. Even if it was said to someone else this time. And years later, Steve would understand something quite a bit more difficult, more painful in a way, yet inevitable. That the fact that this
yes
was a violation had poured even more fuel onto the fire, So much, in the end, that it could not be resisted.
"Steve,"
What was it in her eyes? Compassion, yes. But there was inquisitiveness.
"What?"
He was still trying to read her expression.
"He's coming over."
Well, that was it. It was time to leave. If he had any vestige of pride left, he would just get up and leave. But he just sat, and then he felt it again, his imagination rushing ahead to what Dwayne was coming over to do, beginning to imagine how they might do it. Again the stiffening. That's not how he ought to feel about his girlfriend, his intended, who had already given herself to someone else, expecting another visit from that same someone else. And Karen could see this plainly. She didn't have to look at the physical manifestation, although she did. She did look. But she could just as well have seen it in his eyes. And then Steve could see the change coming over her.