Chapter 4 -- Discovery and Discussion
We sat outside in the warm evening at Rita and Hank's and I had a cup of coffee since I was driving. Bruce joined me in the beverage. On the other hand, I made sure to refill Edie's wine glass with the last of the wine so that she'd be a little less inhibited about answers when I posed my questions later.
About ten-thirty, Bruce and Mindy, and Edie and I got up and made departure moves. I got a large hug from Rita and another kiss on my lips. I could have chalked that up to casual affection, but I thought there might be something more sinister going on. Nonetheless, I managed to maintain my happy demeanor all the way to Edie's house.
I mentally noted that I'd give her 'home court advantage' before I asked any questions. We'd do this at her house, then if I felt I needed to, I could leave.
Edie was in my arms and kissing me as soon as the front door closed. I kissed back, but led her into the living room. I seated her in a chair and then sat in its duplicate, facing her. For a couple of seconds, she looked confused and slightly worried.
I said slowly and deliberately, "We have to talk ... or rather, YOU need to talk."
Edie suddenly looked pale. "What?"
"My new girlfriend got caught by her new boyfriend kissing our host and letting him feel her breast through her clothing. I thought that was a little out of the norm, so I was curious about what was going on. I'm guessing based on what I heard, that one of the secrets that you've yet to share is involved."
I shut up at that point. I learned well in the class I took at NASA entitled
The Art of Negotiation';
he who talks first after the challenge loses. It wasn't that I wanted Edie to lose, but I did want her to talk in a revealing way.
Edie muttered, "Oh, shit. I'm sorry."
I remained mute and waited.
Edie finally started after a long silence. I outwaited her. "A little over four years ago, I got all restless and horny again after years of keeping on the straight and narrow. Harry and I were rarely having sex, and I was ... horny all the time like I am now with you. I talked to Harry about wanting to do some sexual things with other people, but only if we knew them well and could trust them. I don't know how he did it, but Harry produced Hank and Rita; I think he knew them through some of his volunteer work or maybe his regular work. I forget. We got together with them socially several times and then he asked whether I liked them enough to engage sexually with them. I did, and so we did. I think we all fell in love with each other. Rita became my best friend, although we didn't do anything sexual unless the men were around. I loved Hank and he was and is very solicitous of me.
"And then, Harry died. I was devastated. I crawled into my shell and wouldn't come out. I didn't want to do anything sexual with anybody. As the months passed, Rita and Hank asked me to rejoin with them, but I told them 'No'. I didn't want to be a fifth wheel or create a triangle. I worried that I'd latch onto Hank and try to turn him into a husband, or even create a lesbian relationship with Rita. I didn't want to be the 'other woman'.
"Also, I knew I couldn't engage with them without having my own love interest. I needed a solid base for my own confidence in that kind of sexual situation."
I nodded and gestured for Edie to continue.
"Rita and Hank left me alone, but every few months one of them would make sure to let me know that I'd be welcome back with hugs and kisses. Somehow, they found Bruce and Mindy and started a loving and sexual relationship with them. Rita told me, and I heard about their exploits in being together. They also became good friends ... and lovers with each other."
"Rita decided I needed to get social -- to date -- and that's where you came into the picture. She never said it, but I'm sure she hopes you'll become my base and support so we can all play again."
I sat back in the chair and studied her. The silence hung on the air as she studied me trying to figure out what I was thinking. I asked, "Do you want to?" I kept my voice as neutral as I could. I was even avoiding judgments to myself.
"Honestly, yes. It was fun, arousing, naughty, and all sorts of positive things. Harry and I both thought it strengthened our marriage. We talked more, made love more, and became a couple again rather than two individuals rooming together.
"I know this is kind of shock so early in our relationship. I am ready to just avoid any kind of situation if it means losing you. You are of paramount importance to me. We have been having our own fun and can continue to do that."
I posed, "And other secrets or confessions?"
Edie shook her head. "I told you I got pretty slutty in late high school, college, and my twenties until I met Harry. I guess I could go into detail, but I was going to hold onto those until I needed a dirty story or two to tell you to get you cranked up. I'm not hiding them, I promise."
"Affairs while you were married?" I posed.
"None. Zero. Harry, too."
"Why did your mood change four years ago?"
"I asked my doctor. She told me I was likely hypersexual and had been since adolescence. I'd managed to curb the tendencies while I was having and raising our children. Things started up around menopause and after the last one left home -- my daughter Penny, and I guess I relaxed and allowed my nymphomaniac tendencies to reemerge. Harry wasn't surprised at all; he just rolled with the situation."
I asked, "Was Rita coming onto me tonight?"
"With her kisses and hugs? Yes, probably. She likes you and hopes you like her. She whispered to me that she 'got off' on you. I said nothing, but I did roll my eyes. Tonight, and earlier, I've really tried to avoid the issue with them, but I guess I knew it would come up sometime. I didn't want to say or do anything to upset what we've started to build. Please don't leave me because of this.
"The moment with Hank was sweet and just him reminding me that the two of them wanted me ... wanted us. I pretty much told them I wouldn't do anything unless you were part of it. I emphasize, we don't need to be or to do anything further with them. I want them as friends, but beyond that we can just put a barrier there.
A long silence ensued. Finally, I stood. "I need to think." Without a further word, I sauntered to the front door and left.
* * * * *
I cried all night long -- a woman's prerogative. My pillow was drenched. My eyes were red. My complexion was blotchy. I was up wandering around at dawn again, having coffee. A man! I was crying over a man -- a truly great man that I'd fallen deeply in love with in only a few days -- a few hours.
I looked out at my empty driveway where he'd parked whenever he was at my house. I cried some more. The house had wet tissues on almost every surface. I lost him. He was gone. My past behavior and the portent for more had done me in as far as he was concerned. I was a sexual deviant and he wasn't.
My phone rang and eight-thirty a.m. I answered and it was Rita. I sobbed, "I've lost him -- I told him about us and he just went off to think." I cried really hard.
"Come over!" Rita implored almost screaming at me over my crying. "Now!"
I choked out, "All right. Later."
Rita emphasized, "No, right now. It's important. We want to support you, but you have to be here."
I didn't understand, but I got dressed. I thought of Jim's admonishment about my bra and panties and left them in my dresser, as though adhering to some request he'd made hours earlier would bring him back.
I got in my car and managed to drive to Rita and Hank's home, although I was crying. As I arrived, I was astonished to see Jim's car parked on the street. Now, I was puzzled.
Rita was out the door to greet me in a flash. "Come on. Yes, Jim is here. He woke us up at seven this morning, and we had a long talk." She led me into the house and into the living room. She pushed a mug of black coffee into my hands. Jim and Hank came into the room from the kitchen and sat down. I saw Jim and sobbed again, "I love you; I miss you." I didn't dare go to him; it might aggravate him.
Jim got up and came to me. He kissed my forehead. "I do love you, and I haven't been gone long enough for you to miss. Besides, based on what I've heard, I'm not leaving you."
My heart kind of soared into outer space on just those few words. He was still going to be my boyfriend -- maybe?
Rita motioned Jim back to his seat, and she knelt between all of us on the rug. She announced, "Jim wanted to know the extent of the swinging that we did with you and Harry, and what we wanted to do with you now, and the emotional attachments. I think we answered those questions."
Hank volunteered, "We always felt great affection for you and later genuine love as our relationship matured. We put the sexual part of that on hold when Harry died and you told us you weren't ready for that kind of thing again. We still love you and want what's best for you. We want you to be happy.
"I fell in love with you, as you know, and Rita loved Harry. When he died, we were all shattered and dumbfounded. Later, we happened to meet Bruce and Mindy, and they kind of took your place as you licked your wounds of widowhood. I want to add that we love them, too; and they certainly love Jim and are coming to feel the same about you."
Jim said, "The feelings of love in the relationships are important to me. If this were a casual 'friends with benefits' hook-up I'd be less enthused about the situation. I told Rita and Hank, that I am surprised and amazed that Bruce and Mindy are sexually involved with them. I've known them for years, and they never once hinted at that side of their lives."
