Called Mia on my lunch hour. Told her I had the date with Mike and she got more out of me than I thought I'd tell her. She wants to go dancing Friday and pick up guys. I told her what about Mike? She said it's bad to always be thinking "relationship". Takes all the fun out of life she says. Ha! I guess maybe that's one way of looking at it. Mike texted me right after I talked to her. Said how much fun he had and hopes we can do it again. Do it again? A girl could read that to mean just the sex, which I guess, since it was fun, isn't such a bad thing. I don't get the feeling he wants a relationship. Didn't really talk about that with him. Hmm, what's a 30 year old girl to think these days?
January 29th, 2015
Decided to go dancing with Mia tomorrow night. I feel strangely excited about it, different than before. The memory of being with Mike is still fresh, and with Mia picking up guys TWICE the last times we went clubbing, I'm feeling nervous. I guess I broke the ice as far as one night stands go with Mike, although it really didn't feel that way at the time. It wasn't a 'pick up' kind of thing. Mom was involved for goodness sake. So I'm feeling really ...scared. There, I said it.
Jan30
Just got dressed for the club tonight. Mia said she's going slutty, so I had to too. It's funny, I was thinking all day at work that I WANTED to dress slutty, but I knew I wouldn't. Then Mia texted and said she is, and here I am in a short skirt, sexy stockings, high-heels and a little satin shirt that's unbuttoned too much. I've had all these clothes, worn them all separately before, but never put them all together. Each piece I put on I looked sluttier and sluttier. Probably not in the ultimate sense, I mean a really sexy woman would think this look wasn't pushing it very far, but for me, wow do I feel exposed. I don't want to wear my usual stuff though, I'd feel like a dweeb next to Mia if she looks hot. Oh well, it's a new club, nobody knows me there. I can do this! I can do this!
Jan 31
Where do I begin? Not sure I even want to write down what happened last night. But I also want to shout it out for everyone to hear. Never had these kinds of mixed feelings before. Okay, what the fuck happened? That's how I should start this entry. I'm sitting here, staring at this page for like a minute or more after I write each sentence, that's how crazy and surreal this morning feels.
Long story short, the slut clothes were appropriate, because I WAS one last night. Oh! My! God!!
Let me see if I can remember how it even happened, because I'm not sure I really even comprehended it at the time.
I met Mia at a coffee shop down the street from the club. We walk over and wait in a BIG line. It's a brand new club and the place to be I guess. Leave it to Mia to know that. I'm glad I wore what I wore because Mia looked really hot. A lot of other girls did too. It seemed like we waited in line forever but then we're in and it's like a psychedelic trip in there. Like back to the 60's , but in a good way. Loud, hot, sweaty. Mia went right for the Tequila and we both had 2 before we hit the dance floor. Guys were all over us almost instantly.
2 more Tequilas and we were flying high. There was an older bunch of people there that we seemed to fall in with. Late 30's, early 40's maybe? 3 handsome, sexy guys and their wives/girlfriends? I'm still not sure how they were connected. I'm guessing wives. Every time Mia and I took a break or got a drink we seemed to end up back dancing with them again. I was super fun, lots of smiles and laughs and the flirty stuff grew to epic proportions. Everybody was into it, even the women. It was too loud to communicate much, so we all just danced up a storm. The dancing got really sexy and dirty. I was only letting a little of that happen, because I felt uncomfortable about it with the "wives" there, but I was watching. Mia though, she was right into it, big time. I've never seen her act so sexy, especially with couples when the women were there, but she just went for it like it was totally natural. I could never do that.
So this is were things get fuzzy. All the sudden we were all squeezed into 2 cabs heading for one of the couple's apartments. I wish I could remember how or why, but I don't remember what was said to get us to that point. Mia and I were in a cab with Donnie and Marie. Yeah I know! We had a good laugh when they first told us their names.
So here's where things really get crazy. Marie kisses Mia! We had just gotten into the cab and it pulled away from the curb and she was all over Mia and Mia was into it! I couldn't believe it! It was like one of those, "What? Am I seeing this right?" moments. They were both in super slutty little dresses and their hands were all over each other. I must have had a shocked look on my face, because Donnie said "You're adorable" and he kissed me. It was funny because the shock went out the window and I kissed him back, really hard. It was one of those kisses, you know? The kind you're probably gonna remember for a LONG time. Fuck it was hot! We're going through these massive potholes in this rickety old cab that smells awful, and I'm like floating away on this intense kiss and his hands are making me so fucking horny!
So I'm like lost in another world when the cab pulls up in front of this apartment building. All these questions are going through my head. I want to ask "Aren't you guys married?" but I'm too chicken. I hate being shy. Mia and Marie are laughing and we all get out. The other cab pulls up behind us and the party rolls out onto the sidewalk, everybody laughing and acting sexy. I felt like a fish out of water and then Donnie puts his arm around my waist and kisses me again, right there in front of everyone. I blushed really hard and he says "Adorable" again. His eyes were really intense, soft and warm, but fiery and dangerous. I could have run away with him right then and there.
Wow, I'm writing a book here! Let's see, okay, so we all go inside. Turns out it's Mitzy and Rocko's place. How's that for big-city Italian names? Mitzy and Rocko. They look just like you'd think, Mitzy a little skinny firecracker with quick sarcasm that I wish I could pull off, and Rocko, he's like a wavy haired muscle-man who spends his time 'lifting' at the gym, like right out of a T.V. show or something. Real blue-collar, with a thick accent from like the Bronx or something. At first I found him funny in a not flattering kind of way, but now, yeah, I can definitely see what Mitzy see's in him.
The other couple was Bo and Anne. They're so different, like middle class suburbanites. It's funny that they all hang out together because all three couples seem like they're from different worlds, but I guess it's their "hobby" that brought them together. Fucking each other. Yeah, I just wrote that. Swapping partners. Swinging. Holy shit, I still can't believe it! And Mia and I, well, oh my God, am I actually gonna write this down where someone might find it and read it? Mia and I, we were their playthings for the night. That's how it felt anyway. And we loved it! I LOVED IT! I got fucked by 3 men, and I licked a woman's pussy for the first time. 4 of them actually. Yup, everybody 'did' everybody else, and all 5 of us girls were ganged up on at least once too. I can't even begin to put into words what it was all like, especially when I was the center of attention. I've never been so out of my mind before.
Feb 1
Just read through that War And Peace sized entry from yesterday. I'm tempted to scratch it all out, but I guess I'll leave it. It did happen to me after all — do I really want to forget it? Feeling very, very down on myself for letting something like that happen. Am I sick in the head for letting myself go like that? For enjoying it? It's Sunday morning. I feel like I should go to church and pray for my soul.
So, it's 8pm now, and I haven't heard a peep from Mia since we shared an awkward kiss on the cheek on the sidewalk outside Mitzy and Rocko's apartment in the wee hours yesterday morning. The idea of calling her and talking about it all is terrifying to me. I know that's ridiculous. I'm an adult for goodness sake. Am I afraid to admit that I really did like it? Having sex with 7 people? How can that be? How can I ever admit to that?
Feb 3
Back to work today. Awkward, awkward, awkward. I felt like I was hiding some sort of secret the whole day. I hate that feeling! Mia called me at lunch time. Said she was "busy" all weekend, but I could tell she felt weird about it all too. I went up to the smoker's deck on the roof and was alone, but I still told her I couldn't talk about it all at work. We sort of did anyway, which was good I guess, to sort of break the ice. It was all very surreal, I can't believe I'm having these kinds of discussions with her. Even more surreal is that I got aroused when we talked. I'm not sure what's going on.
Feb 4
Just hung up from Mia again. Glad she didn't call at work this time. Long conversation. We're both sort of on the same page — freaked out initially, confused, a lot of underlying feelings that we're slowly talking about. The big one though is we both sort of really did love the experience. It's hard to admit for someone like me. Little Miss Good Girl with the sucky sex life. But like Mia said, "Why shouldn't good sex make us happy?" Yes. It's true really, isn't it? Who am I asking? Myself I guess. Yes, I'll admit it — I loved it. I find myself thinking about it a LOT. Rocko seems to fill my thoughts more than the others. That muscle body, oh my GOD! I never thought I'd see someone like him naked, I don't know why. But he wasn't just naked, he fucked me so hard. Hard! Like a crazy wild man. I should probably write down here how big his cock is, so I don't forget. Like I'm gonna forget! It's the longest, fattest cock. Filled me like nothing I could imagine. And he'd just go and go and go. More than once I though I'd pass out! I never dreamed a man could be like that. I can still hear the others egging him on too, while he was giving it to me. It was like a cheering section.
