It was last Thursday, me Jim and Dave had been sitting in the bar for some time all complaining about how bad our team had played the night before when a couple of young ladies walked in the bar. "How would you rate those two" asked Jim, "I'd say a 5 and a 6."
"Not my type, at best a couple of 5's" came Dave's reply. "God no way to skinny for me, I would give them any better that 3" I said. Well that started it every women that walked in after that was get a rating, some good and some bad. It was getting late when a woman entered warring knee high black boots a black short skirt and a red top. "That's nice," said Dave "a good 7 in my book." Jim looked hard for a second then said, "A bit on the large size, yes a 7 at least,"
"more to your linking Pete." Without the slyest hesitation I piped up "I give that a least 9 - 9 inches of my cock that is." I put down my drink and started to walk to the bar where the lady was standing. "Where the fucks he off too" came jims voice from behind me, "Thinks he can get his leg over with that one" said Dave. It must have been the drink because I still don't know what made me do it but I walked up to the bar and sat on the stool next to the woman. "Can I buy you a drink?" I asked (shit what was I saying the oldest line in the book)
She turned and looked at me, "Sure" she said. That was enough to break the ice. We so got talking I introduced myself and she told me her name was Dee-Dee and that she had had a shit day at work and had just popped in for a quick drink to try and cheer herself up. I noticed the weeding ring on her finger and asked was I about to meet her husband and get my face punch, she laugh and said "No you are ok his away on some sales trip with his company." I suggested she come and meet my mates. We walked over to where the other two were sitting. I introduced them to Dee-Dee and told them what a shit day she had had and that she needed cheering up. For the rest of the night we all sat there talking and laughing and telling dirty jokes. About 11:30 Dee-Dee got up and said it was time she made her way home. "Would you like me to walk you home" I asked, "No it's only 5 minutes away" she said. Dee-Dee thanked us for cheering her up and started to towards the down, when she stopped turned towards the table and said "What the fuck, do you lot fancy coming back for a coffee." We were all up on or feet in a second.
Back at Dee-Dee's house we all found ourselves congregating in the kitchen drinking coffee. Talking about the evening Dave said, "did you tell Dee-Dee her score?"