As always, thanks as always to Todger65 for editing and insights.
I'm Done
A neighbor in need makes a betrayed man question his resolve
~~~~~{}~~~~~
My attitude toward women definitely played a part in what happened. For the sake of clarity, it would probably be a good idea if I explained how my attitude took a radical turn from a romantic that worshipped his wife to whatever it was I turned into. I do know this for a fact, Marcy was the turning point.
Marcy and I had been married for three years and I worshipped the ground she walked on. I had scored way above my level and I knew it. I worked at keeping our marriage as fun and sexually gratifying as possible. I didn't just watch porn for inspiration. I studied what science knew on any number of sex related subjects from Tantric sex to light bondage. I knew every inch of Marcy's amazing body and could arouse her in moments.
Marcy was ecstatically joyful in our sex life. She loved to fuck without a doubt and was very adventurous. We didn't just satisfy each other, we left each other excited for the next round. Our sex life was wild, varied, full of fantasy, and between just the two of us. Well, three of us. Marcy's best friend Bella was her confidante. I knew that Marcy shared a lot with Bella, but I didn't find out that she shared everything until it didn't matter anymore anyway.
As I mentioned, Marcy was adventurous and we often talked about swinging, sharing, and so on. Marcy knew well my feelings on either of us fucking someone else. I didn't marry her to share her. I married her to seal the promise I made to be hers and hers alone for all my life. I expected the same fidelity from her. I considered our discussions as a way to understand things like sharing, and as a good way to heat up our fantasies.
Marcy and I were snuggling one evening and just talking. Somehow the subject got onto sharing and swapping. Marcy rolled in my arms so she could look at my face, "You can't say you don't get a bit of a thrill thinking about fucking another woman. I'm not saying you're going to. I'm just saying the thought must have crossed your mind on occasion."
I gave her a smirk, "Duh! I'm a man so of course, I look and sometimes I wonder, but I would never consider it seriously."
She raised an eyebrow, "You never think about a little variety? Fantasize about a little strange with no strings? Ponder picking up some little hottie and having a little fuck for fun?"
What the fuck?
"Why would I want any of that? You give me everything I need and I can't imagine some stranger making me feel the tiniest bit as good as you do. So, the answer is 'No', I don't think that way. Do I notice an attractive woman? Of course. Do I wonder what she would look like naked? More often than I care to admit.
"That's fantasy stuff and a million miles from actually screwing another woman."
She gave me a sly look. I knew that look. It was the one she used when she was about to fuck with me, "You would absolutely never do it, without a doubt? What if I said it was all right? What if I wanted you to? What if I found the woman and brought her to you?"
That was an easy set of questions to answer. Way too easy, but I told her the truth anyway, "Nope. Not interested."
That's when she dropped her bomb, "What if it was Bella?"
I'm sure she thought she would stun me with that question. The thing is that Bella hits on me every time she's around me. Never once has she not taken a shot. Never once have I not flirted with her unmercifully. And, never once have I come remotely close to doing anything sexual with her. Bella is gorgeous, single, and a joy to be around. If I had never met Marcy and had met Bella, I have no doubt I would have fallen for her hard. In the world I live in she is my wife's best friend and my friend. The idea of fucking her for pleasure and putting everything I love at risk makes my chest hurt. I could never fuck Bella because the guilt alone would cause incurable shrinkage.
I answered without hesitation, "I don't care what the woman's name is. I'm not interested."
Marcy looked at me puzzled, "Here's what I don't get. You are one of the most open-minded and accepting people I have ever met. Yet, on this subject, you couldn't be more ironclad in your opinion. I'm having trouble understanding what the big deal is if I'm asking you to do it."
I looked at her hard, "Are you asking me to fuck your best friend?"
Her eyes got wide, "No! That's not what I meant you perv. What I meant was if I didn't have a problem with it and welcomed you home with open arms, what would be the harm in you having a little sexy fun?"
I shook my head, "For the sake of argument, let's assume that I don't feel as strongly as I do about our marriage vows. Let's also say you want to set me up with a woman. It can even be Bella if you want. I'm assuming here that what's good for the gander, is also good for the goose. It would seem only fair that you get to fuck the hunk of your choice.
"I would never agree to that. I will not share you with another man for a lot of reasons. We don't just love each other. If that were the case we could have just decided to live together. We love each other so much that we married and we promised to only be with each other. We made a lifetime commitment.
"Now, you talk about it just being a fun little fuck like it would be meaningless. This isn't borrowing the neighbor's car. This is giving your body to another man so he can be as intimate with you as I am. It might be fun at the moment, but I promise it wouldn't be meaningless to me."
"It would crush me. I'd feel like I failed you in some way and you needed another man to give you what I couldn't. I'd wonder why you never came to me and gave me a chance to give you what you need. It would hurt to know that you could easily set aside your love for me to be with another man."
Marcy frowned, "I understand what you're saying, but given that permission was granted, I don't think it would make my love for you any less at all. In fact, I think the fact that you trusted me to have some fun and come home to you, would make you even dearer to me."
I shrugged, "I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on that one. But, just for the sake of discussion, let's say we were both fine with it and it happened for both of us. What if he's abusive? What if she gets pregnant? What if either of them has an STD? I'm supposed to send you off to fuck someone either I don't know, or barely know, and trust them to keep you safe?